Offended by being called "step"mom or dad?

Question

Does this offend anyone else? Sometimes the term makes me feel like I'm just along for the ride or something, I think that step-parenting is harder than raising your own kids. I don't ask my stepsons to call me "Mom", they usually do when they want something, LOL. Any thoughts???

Answer 1

I agree. When I was younger I was quilty of that! However now I realize that my stepdad is my real father.

Answer 2

I have 3 boys that I gave birth to and 1 son that I have raised since the age of 2. He is now 7. You don't give the ages of these boys now, how old they were when you came into the picture,or where there biological mother is. In my case, the bm was out of the picture until recently and my son chose to call me mom. I do not think its harder than "my own" and I don't feel like I'm along for the ride. My little boy has always known that he has another mommy. When I am referred to as stepmom I am not offended. I know when all is said and done,at the end of the day this little boy knows that I love him as my own and he can always count on me! Maybe your stepsons sense that you dont see them as "your own"/ whether or not they call you mom should be up to them Wish you well

Answer 3

Stop being so sensitive. The kids are obviously still getting used to you. Give it a lot more time then you did developing a relationship with their father to develop one with them. They and you need to find a happy medium and being offended at all by them calling you 'step mom' is pretty short sighted. The 'ride' you're on is for a life time what you make of it as you go is what matters. In the end you should be one more person that love's them. Good Luck

Answer 4

Not really, because most kids might, you know, not like their step mom because their still bitter from their parents divorce, and then look, a new person comes in, who a child would probably hate because they want their parents back together, but to be honest with you, step mom or dad is a good term for a bitter kid who doesn't like their new mom/dad. I mean, that person could be the reason for their parent's divorce or something.

Answer 5

Depends on the bonding and situation at hand.

A child has a right to not call their step parents "mom" or "dad". I think a child has a right to call a step parent by their first name if they like.

I call my step dad "Wes" or refer to him as my step dad.

It is what I am comfortable with and still showing an amount of respect in behavior. The parents decided to get married, not the kids.

Answer 6

I don't think it's offensive. That's what you are. If they are comfortable with saying "mom" then fine. You're not along for the ride either, you're just not their biological mom and society teaches us that the new woman is "step"...I don't know if it's harder than raising your own kids...aside from dealing with the excessive defiance and "you're not my real mom" crap...it's up to the biological parents, if possible to raise this child as best as they can...unless of course you're all the have as a mother and spend a lot of time with them...

Answer 7

My stepfather entered the picture when I was 12, my brother was 10 1/2 and my sister was 9. We have never called him dad to this day, but he did as much (possibly more) for us as my father did. Now my father has passed away and my stepfather (we always call him by his first name) continues to be there for us as adults with advice and good humor!

He never asked us to call him dad, but every year at father's day I get him a nice card that says "father". I hope he realizes what he means to us. Just the fact that he took all 3 of us on as his own says something to me!

Another example...at my wedding rehearsal my husband's mother overheard me accidentally introduce his stepmother as his mother. Common mistake, especcially since I grew up with such a close stepfather of my own. She gave me the silent treatment for days.

I realize I probably didn't answer your question, sorry!

Answer 8

i am also a stepmother of a beautiful 7 yr old girl and have raised her, her whole life. we have a wonderful relationship and she has called me mom since she was a baby. last year when she was in first grade i was room mom in her class and i got there with cookies and her friend walked to me and said,"are you her real mom because she said that you are just her stepmom" and my feelings got so hurt but kids are kids and say things without knowing that it hurts others. i still love her and always will.

Answer 9

Why does it offend you?? thats what you are, there step mom..I feel you should speak to you hubby about it, maybe he can help!!Do they treat you bad, or its only the MOM part you want.. Maybe you need to give them some more time..i never called my step anything but by her name, My real mother was MOM.. Your friend from Tennessee...ROB

Answer 10

My brother(in-law) was just killed in a car accident on July 16. His mom(step-mom) was extremely upset as you can imagine...
The one thing that upset her more than anything is that the whole family, preacher, funeral director, kept refering to her as his step-mom. All of the kids have always called her mom, not Mary or step-mom...it was just mom. I can understand how upsetting that phrase is from witnessing her pain. kids will be kids. For some reason society tends to separate family. I have 5 brothers and sisters in law, and i don't refer to them as my inlaws. They are my brothers and sisters. and i am their sister.

Answer 11

I have four kids of my own and I have two step sons, They call me by my name, and they say to their friends I am their step mom which I don't mind at all.