My fiance and I moved in with my Mother-In-Law to save money while I was pregnant. She doesn't work, is home all day, expects my husband and I to clean up after her (i.e. she leaves all the ingredients out when she makes food, even if it needs to be refridgerated). I just went back to work after having my daughter and I just don't wanna come home anymore. She literally does nothing around the house, she butts into our lives. She has even walked into our room when the door was closed without knocking!!!!!!!! Her mortgage is $1200 and we pay $1000 of it, buy all the groceries, do all the cleaning. I wanna move out on our own. But my husband wants to wait till the end of the year. Sometimes I just wanna kill myself over this. I want my own family in our own home. I don't want someone to always ask "why do you do that"? or just tells us how to do things. I need to get outta here ASAP. But I can't just leave my husband and go get an apartment. I pay $1200 for daycare a month for 2 kids.....
2006-08-10 16:21:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
so I can't afford an apartment on my own. AM I STUCK????? What should I do?????
2006-08-10 16:22:31 · update #1
I live in Ventura County. A normal "new" mortage is about $2500 a month. And a 2 bedroom apartment is about $1495-$2000 a month.
2006-08-10 16:35:37 · update #2
MIL's are problems, and deadly for any relationship.Where are you living that $1000 couldn't pay for an apartment? How scarey!
2006-08-10 16:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all if you are living there with your two kids and your husband, you should be paying a big chunk of the mortgage... but thats not the point i suppose. You need to sit down and SERIOUSLY talk to your husband about this, let him know how stressed out it makes you, and talk to him about the finances. If you are paying $1000 of her mortgage, then more than likely you can afford a mortgage of your own. Or an apartment for less than what you are paying now, until you feel like you've saved up enough money to get your own place. If your husband is any kind of man, he will want you to be happy no matter what. Even if that means moving out of his mommy's house.
2006-08-10 16:29:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing you can't afford to move out on your own because you live in an area like SF or LA or NY where the cost of living is really high. Nevertheless, this is something you should have thought about before having not 1 but 2 kids...that is just totally iiresponsible. People shouldn't have kids til they are ready.
anways, i could rant on and on and that wouldn't solve this situation...what i suggest is finding a better job...which i am guessing you have been trying to do but can't...
...my only other suggestion is to give full custody of your first child to your ex. This would reduce the cost of daycare in half by about $500/mo...which right now is hardship and unfit environment for your children...then just pay your ex a little for child support. Its the only fair thing to do.
2006-08-10 16:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by JJ C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are willing to separate from your fiance for this reason you should of never had a kid with him in the first place.
I can see that you having to live with your mother in law shows you did poor planing. All this complaining shows how much you are in to yourself and are not willing to make sacrifices to make up for your poor planing. The fact that your fiance wants to wait and save money shows he is a better planner than you.
If you were not so lazy you would of not gotten pregnant until you were in a good marriage with sound finances.
You messed up. Save money while you are there. I would be urging you to get a compromise with your mohter in law but you are too lazy and selfish to do that.
The sad thing is your marriage will fall apart before you even get married as will your next one probably and your child will be the one to pay.
PS, what were you thinking was going to happen when you moved in?
2006-08-10 16:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by eric l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean you can't pay for an apartment what about the $1,000 for her mortgage take that away and use it. As long as you live there you don't have much to say, but deal with it. It must be really hard, so explain to your fiance how hard it is to stand this every darn day. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. I hope you get this resolved asap. Good Luck
2006-08-10 16:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Geneddly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you pay $1000 of the mortgage every month, can't you afford an apartment?
You should get out of there asap, that is a toxic environment. You are a grown woman and should do it what it takes to live like an adult.
2006-08-10 16:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by Miro 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are paying a grand a month to live there, I bet it is safe to say that #1 there is little to no money saving going on and #2 you can afford a place of your own now.
I would sit your fiance down and explain this to him and start looking for a place.
2006-08-10 16:30:13 · answer #7 · answered by Bad Answer Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get you MIL to babysit the two kids, even if you have to pay her. Give your mother in law around half or what you think is fair for babysitting. You would save money faster, she will be tired at the end of the day and go to sleep and you can move out quicker.
2006-08-10 16:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by FLAMINGO CHICK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if your paying 1000.00 a month and still buying groceries, and 1200.00 for daycare, thats absolutley crazy. Have Monster in law ( I have one of those also), care for the children, while your at work, and only pay her 700.00 a month for rent. If she complains, about the money issues, tell her, you'll move out and the children will not see her any more. A little threat does help in situations such as this. You need to be more stern with your husband about this. Tell him if he doesnt do what you want him to do ( moving out) that you'll move with out him. Go to your parents home, or find an nice apartment building that has mostly elderly people in it. This will make the older folks happy to see small children around.
2006-08-10 16:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by Moose 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I JUST came through this same problem myself. we just moved a month ago.
the one thing you have to keep in the center of your mind is that this arrangement is only temporary, i know it seems like an eternity, and you may never have your own life again.
just breath. you will get through it. your suffering will end.
concentrate on your family.
it is good that your husband is helping. it is important that you guys go through this as a team. be strong.
2006-08-10 16:33:11 · answer #10 · answered by Shake-Zula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋