how come........?

Question

when i really need my family and friends they're never their. It's not fair nothings fair in my life anymore :(.

Answer 1

It's because people reliably act in their own self-interest at all times. Even when we are doing "selfless" things, we are actually doing them for ourselves, to make ourselves feel better.

So when you find you need people in your life and they are unavailable, it is because of the law of necessity: people will always do what is most necessary to them at any given moment. The people you are turning to for help have assessed your needs and theirs and have, subconsciously or consciously, made the decision that their time and energy would be better spent doing other things. Some people are more selfish than others and would sooner sit on the couch doing nothing than lift a hand to help someone in need, while other people are already stretched to the limit dealing with their own problems.

I am sorry to hear that things in your life are not going well. One thing that will always be true is that the only person you can ever really count on is yourself. That's it. Sad, but true.

Finally, I've found that it's the people we love the most who disappoint us - because we expect more out of them. We come to expect that they will be there when we need them. But the fact is, they have their own lives and problems and won't always be there. As a result, they fail to meet our expectations over and over again. The disappointment can be a frustrating lesson in self-reliance.

I am fortunate I have people in my life I can count on when I need help - but I know better than to assume they will always be there.

Hope things get better for ya...

Answer 2

Because our society has reached a breaking point in moral and family values. There are a few countries that have something that resembles family values, but in general your case is the rule rather than the exception.

Answer 3

Grow up, life is not fair. PERIOD. If life was fair to everybody, we'd all be the same, on the same level, nothing would ever change. So stop your whining, lift your head and go on with yourself.

Answer 4

Yeah, I no, been there. I finally realized that I need to depend on myself. My family is like that, and the few friends that I do call my friends are the same way. Yes, it is very upsetting, I still get hurt if I let myself dwell on it. But ya no there is really nothing you can do to change them, just get yourself stronger.

Answer 5

Life isn't fair. Maybe you need different friends...Just be the person you want them to be and maybe they will get the hint and change.

Answer 6

were you always there for them and how well did you get along with them in the past ? some people consider anyone they are really close to family, your Friends can be the best family you could ever ask for . i know this from experience

Answer 7

Alls fair in love and war...maybe you need to let them know a little clearer what it is you need from them...from my experieince in life it is when you are feeling the worst that it seems no one is on your side. When in fact maybe you are failing to see that it is your turn to be on their side?

Answer 8

Mari, you are just going through a phase in yur life right now.... Just remember that everybody, and I mean, EVERYBODY went through basically the same doubts, fears, concerns as you....

Just hang in there... And remember, behind the clouds, the sun is still shining.

Answer 9

Cheer up.. this is life mate... But you know what? Having these problems make you a stronger person.. I should know because i went through it before.. So best of luck to you!

Answer 10

you should consider yourself pretty lucky, after all you have a computer, which means you probably don't starve to death like many other people... (and you say your life is not fair!!)

expand your circle of friends...