I need help with talking on the phone in a long distance relationship?

Question

I am in a long distance relationship with a girl im crazy about and she feels the same. We talk almost every night on the phone for atleast 1/2 an hour. My first problem is i never really have to much to talk about so anybody in a long distance relationship who can talk on the phone for multiply hours, what your secret? My second problem is that when we run out of things to say i have a problem getting off the phone. Shes never the one to end the conversation and i sometimes think she feels offened as if im pushing her off the phone when i try to say goodbye/goodnight. My third and final problem is when we text during the day i feel that shes really into me and the whole relationship but when we talk i dont get that as much. Is there a way to bring this up so that i dont just have to ask her how she feels and could this be just parnioay or that she not a good phone talker? THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS!

Answer 1

I have been there done that. My wife(girlfriend) was in Minneapolis and I was in St. Louis. When we dated (2 years) the summers apart were hell. And I was such an insecure guy. I needed constant reassurance, which drove my wife (girlfriend) nuts. Looking back now, I wish I had just trusted in the love we had. I would have had so much more fun. Of course I've been making up for it all these years!!! YEEHAWWW!


I then went to Germany for an semester and talk about a long distance bill YIKES. I talked so long at a Post Office phone that it shut off automatically after 200 DM (1985). The German Postal dude said that had never happened before!

Here's the secret. Trust her and trust yourself. Don't let insecurities creep in. I have been married to my wife 19 years now and we spent months apart when were dating and yes it's hard. Lots of folks can't sustain long distance relationships. They are all about loving the one the are with. You sound like this relationship is important to you. So don't be afraid to keep it short and sweet on the phone. Let her know she rocks your world and that you are thinking about her. And write her letters and cards. These are really good, because it keeps here thinking about you and reading again and again all the good things you have to say about her. You don't always have to call.

And when you do call remember to always keep the call positive. Make her feel good and look forward to the next time she hears your voice. If she loves you, that is all she needs.

Good luck man.

Answer 2

I have been in a lond distance relationship for little over a year (kinda of a bad move for me)Because the time I wasted with him over the phone while he was cheating maybe I would have found a more truthful person by now.Anyways we always talked about daily happenings in each of us lives, we talked almost everynight.There must be other people like eg. kids that are up in the night that you can ask if they are ok and maybe talk to em to take up time.I don't think you can run out of things 2 say if so say goodnight.There are a lot of things I can't even name em now.She maybe a little shy when she is on the phone mention it to her and tell her she don't have to be so shy GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

First ... I don't think the success rate on long distance telephone based relationships is very high, but to help you out a little ...

Don't talk about yourself. Talk about things that interest you. Talk about things you have seen or heard. Try to avoid the word "I". Talking about yourself or saying "I" over and over can give the appearance of being self-centered. If you catch yourself saying things that I've mentioned here, don't flub and fluster, just keep moving forward. Above all, do not try to be anything or anyone other than who and what you are. You want her to want you for you, not something you pretend to be.

Also, if you have things in common or interested in some things talk about that. You can also try doing things that are interesting (you do not need to start skydiving, but it does make great conversation) to talk with her about later.

You should base what you discuss with her on past conversations. It will show you are a good listener. Women LIKE a good listener. They want to know that the person they have been talking to was actually listening.

Answer 4

Many people sound different when they type as opposed to when they speak. When you type...you have to be sure to be clear because there's no second chance to explain...whereas while talking live on the phone you can hear if someone is not following or is confused and as you get to know someone better, we all have sort of nonverbal shortcuts. Not a big deal.

Possibly you haven't much to say on the phone because you cover so much during the day? Why not spend time online doing something like playing a card game together or playing dominoes together while talking? It helps make it easier when there's a lull.

Another thing to consider...it's easy to be brave when typing. It's another thing entirely when your live or face to face. She may be uncomfortable or shyer than you first thought.

Anyway, best of luck.

Answer 5

They can work as long as there is trust and communication. Also, you should def. make it a priority to see each other. As far as conversation goes... just talk about how your day went, whats on your mind, how you feel about each other. Ask questions of things you dont know yet, Get her opinion of stuff that matters to you. I've been in a relationship for a long time and I can always find something to talk about... new experiences and feelings happen everyday. You guys should do okay, especially since you are both so crazy about each other. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

well to start off long distance relationship don't really work out not onless you can some how get together sometimes. Other than that talking on the phone is one thing, but when your face to face can you really feel or talk like you have when you finally meet. Talking is one thing phyisecal interaction is much better and provide you on how much you really love each other.

Answer 7

wow...hmm. i'd say just talk about normal stuff...i usually talk about what i did that day, any funny anecdotes or problems i encountered, or anything unusual that happened. then ask what she did? remember what she talked about last time, ask a question about that (like if she studied for a test, ask how it went, or something)...you can talk about a movie you saw, something you read...something weird you saw someone do/say...

also, if you're really stuck you can buy a game that's made for breaking the ice at parties, and ask her the questions over the phone...those types that are just fun to answer and make you think...like Would you rather....or... and give two really gross/weird choices. then say why you'd each choose the one you did.

as for getting off the phone, just say you've enjoyed talking, but you have to go and you'll call her tomorrow


good luck- my bf and i are going to different colleges this fall, so i have to worry about this too :(

Answer 8

dont listen to them. it will work. i made one work. i met my bf online last july & we're still together. we were long distance for about 6 or 7 months.
there really is no "trick" you just have to get used to talking a lot. it was wierd for as at first too. but its SO easy for me to tlk on the phone. ask questions about her to keep the conversation flowing. not just like "how was your day" junk. ask things about childhood memories/stories. & then whn she answers tell a story of yours. & you guys can relate to eachothers stories. & you know, if it still doesnt help, just come out & talk about the silence issue. bu good luck.

Answer 9

Find a cheap phone service
LD REL dont work well

Answer 10

Time will soon run out for the both of you....Distance; to long!!!