Was anyone ever molested by an older sibling? If so, how did it affect your life? Are you O.K. now?

Question

Please HELP...
I am a 20 year old girl who's going through a very rough time in my life right now... Could use all the advice I can get...

The above question explains my childhood.

Has anyone out there gone through this horrible situation as a child? What was the age difference between you & your sibling?

When did you 1st come out with it?

Has anyone pursued legal action against your aggresser, & if so, what was the outcome? How has if affected you and/or your family?

To all that have answered already,
Thank you so much.

Answer 1

boy,funny you ask this...and all jokes of my avatar etc.aside.
i just started counseling this week for this. when i was young, too young to really remember how things started, i had two older 1/2 brothers. they had sex with me until i was older & they moved out. my parents & whole family didn't believe me. but, tell me, how can you not believe a child when she says "steve peed on my tummy". i can't believe some parents.
as i got older, my dad did stuff to me when my mom left him. i was about 13.
i also had an uncle, 2 strangers (at different times), a grandma, and probably others that i just can't remember.
how have i turned out?? well, i'm a hoarder. i spend money like mad. i'm disorganized. i'm untrusting. i feel like everyone is looking at me, or talking behind my back. i don't have many friends...hardly any. i never had friends in school. i was made fun of all of the time. i was put in a foster home when i was 11 because my mom broke my nose. i was later put in a group home at 16 for what my dad did 3 years earlier. i have only had sex with people that i actually chose to myself with only about 7 guys...and i'm in my mid 30s.
please get help...my therapist said that mine's ready to blow. i cry about 3 times a day now...everything makes me cry.
just know, as i'm sure people tell you, it wasn't your fault. no one has a right to take those things from you.
i don't think i could pursue legal action on my dad...i do love him. but my brothers....oh my god yes. the trauma that i had...and i wasn't close so it wouldn't be a problem. YOU have to decide what you can handle. is it worth it to put these people through legal action? what are your fears that they will do it to some other child? i can't pursue now, because it's been so many years, 20+. so you need to sort that out. i know you're scared...but think about some other child that you may be saving from going through what you're going through right now...if you could save another child from rape, agony, trust issues, loss of innocense....just by taking legal action...would you? YOU are the one who holds the power...not them...trust me on that.
you can email if you'd like to talk.

Answer 2

If we could only stop competing. Life does not have to be full of stress and frustration, we made it up. We willingly go along with this imaginative requirement of all those things we should do and should have, we let our selves be brainwashed by hundreds of commercials every day, that compels us to buy more and feel this deficiency that we cant really place. We totally forgot that nature has its own set of rules, it draws us to balance and anything opposing it will turn out as bad. That balance is about co-operation and sharing, rather than competition and exploitation, so we are very much in opposition at this time. The good news is that there is much we can do and the awareness can be achieved, as long as we remember that we are together on this ship with a hole in it!

Answer 3

not an older sibling but from the age of 4 till 9,by numerous men.
when i say men,i mean men.
their ages were 15 to 40.
i was never raped (THANK GOD)but it has effected me a great deal.
actually ,i didn't know if i should call it rape but when i was like 8 or 9 i had my neighbors son(WHO WAS 16 OR 17)stick his p*nis in my rear and i've always wondered if that was considered rape.
i don't like 2 call it rape.
i guess by not calling it that ,i'm protecting my mental state somewhat.

i wont allow myself to take compliments from men because
when i was younger if a man wanted to touch me,he'd compliment me and if i didn't let him he'd get violent.
to me, all men want is to have sex with you.
i've never had a boyfriend and i'n at the age where if i told anyone i've never had a b.f.,they'd totally think i was weird.
not into sex at all.
never have been and probably never will be.
am i strange?sure i am.

i've never told anyone either.
i did write a semi-autobiography of my life and i want to give it 2 my mom,but when im away in atlanta with my sis.
not when i'm here,near my mom.
she won't be angry at me,i just don't want 2 be here with her when she reads it.

all my life i've been,emotionally abused,sexually abused and physically abused by men.
don't know why.
i do love men,i just can't and don't want 2 deal with them.

i don't think i like being touched either.
i totally freak out and burst into tears if a man says something to me that's not nice.
you know,those "cat calls" when you are walking down the street?

i still to this day don't see myself having a boyfriend because i believe that(NOT ALL)but most men lie and all they want is sex.
and men just don't like me.


i've never persued legal action.
i guess it was something i was used to then i "moved on"
i moved on physically not mentally.

Answer 4

Well when I was about 7 yrs. old my step-brother came to live with us and he molested me. He made me watch playboy with his friends and he would come in my room with his pants down. He would play with my chest area and the rest is a blur. I finely told my mom and step-dad and they kicked him out but then I got promiscuous and was always wanting kids my age to touch me. When I got a little older then at times I would just jump into this person that didn't feel comfortable around men or woman kind of in my own world and everyone wanted to have sex with me or something and I really can't stand perverted guys at all. One day I was at the bar and this man gave me bad vibes, kinda like a molester(I can tell one almost anywhere) anyways he was saying things to one of my friends and I couldn't take her being scared no more and I took my pool stick and knocked his teeth out with one swing. I just have alot of anger in me and I never went to the shrink for it until later on when I probably mentally forgot about it(went blank).

Answer 5

Yes, we were both young. I told about it when I was 13. No the family did not pursue any legal action. 4 years. The family is still close knit. Keep an eye on the one who did you, because they might try your children.

Answer 6

ok well i am a male 22yrs. i came out about my abuse about a year ago. it started with me when i was about 4 or 5 and continued till i was 11 with an uncle. it is still a difficult subject for me to talk about. but i do feel for you no child should have to go threw that. (hugs) but the best thing you can do is talk to family about it. or if thats not comfortable for you a really close friend the best thing you can do is get it all off your chest and remember its never your fault. i never presued legal action. and i havnt told family about it .(except my brother because we are extreamly close and talk about everything) if you have to deal witht he person on a regular basis then yes mabye seek legal advice the person does need to be punished for what they did. the reason i never did is that i havnt seen the person in so long i thought i didnt want to confront them again and i wanted to move on with my life. i dont think it has affected me in anyway except i have bi sexual feelings for men but i think i might have always been like that. but as i said the best thing you could do is talk about it get it off your chest and if you have to then yes legal action is the best. i wish you luck and hope everything works out

P.S: if you ever need some1 to talk to or you want more advice feel free to contact me on msn. [e-mail]

Answer 7

As a child this happened to me. !8 yrs difference. Never told a single soul. The effect has been immeasurable on me. I learned a lesson in humility.

Answer 8

YES. I've pretty much gotten over it, and it hasn't really affected me much. I'm not too worried about it. This sounds kinda weird, but I bet it happens all the time. If you're worried about it, maybe talk to a psychiatrist or someone who can help you.

Answer 9

yes my brother has molested me when i was at least 5 or so he was 6or7 hes 16 months older than me and i think I've turned out fine excepted when i start getting fiscal with another guy it brings back old memory's.

Answer 10

actually ya and it still affects me now and im 28 . we always kept quiet about it i think they all thought i would forget it as i got older but last year i told how i felt about it and how it hurts still today and it definitly helps to speak out about it.. if you need to talk just email me [e-mail]