my son smacks everyone in the face, not out of anger, but out of excitment or playfullness. i have tried correcting him by:
1) telling him firmly "no no! that hurts mama!, no smacking!" while holding the hand he just smacked me with.
2) i put him down when he does it and tell him "if your going to smack mama, then you can't sit in my lap"
i'm running out of ideas and this has been going on for about 2 months now..any ideas? any moms dealt with this problem and had a successfull outcome?
2006-08-10 16:02:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
for those of you telling me to "hit" or "spank" my son - how will that teach him, NOT to hit, if i'm hitting him? i mean don't get me wrong, i think that a 3 years old, mouthing off to you or something like that should get a spanking, but a 12 month old? he doesn't understand yet..sheesh!
2006-08-10 16:16:21 · update #1
I think what you are already doing is great and with consistency and time that it will correct itself.
I know this is a little different, but in a way it's the exact same........... When you let your son pet a dog/cat/animal what do you say? "Gentle" "Be nice" and then you most likely take his hand if he is being rough and help him pet the animal nice and gentle. You probably applaud and praise him when he is gentle with the animal too.....................
Even when your son isn't hitting or getting ready to hit you take his hands and put them on your cheecks and make him rub your face gentle and get really excited when he does and praise him...maybe even give him dessert early. Do the same to his face....and say "See Gentle" as you rub his face and kiss him all over.
make a game out of how gentle he can be with your face and others. Continoulsy play this game with him along with smothering him with hugs!!!!
2006-08-10 18:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by tigreria 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every time he hits you or someone, pick him up, tell him "We do not hit" and put him in his portable crib or in a chair. At that age, I'd probably use the playpen or portable crib since he won't quite understand having to stay in the chair. Keep the area empty of all toys and walk out of the room. Wait at least a minute or 2 before returning to the room. Tell him again, "We do not hit, it hurts". Then let him out to keep playing. After a few times of this consistency, he'll start to catch on. He's young, so it may take more than a few times, but he will eventually learn.
I agree with you, HITTING him is NOT going to solve this problem. It's a mixed message, one you can't even ATTEMPT to clear up b/c he's too young. But my belief is that you don't have to hit or spank to punish. There are many other ways that truly work.
2006-08-10 23:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by Marie K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was going through the same stage. I talked to her doctor and heard that a child that age will play with anyone about the same way she plays with anything else.
Everytime I saw her hitting,bitting or yelling loudly at an object I would tell her no and take it away for some time and give her a minute in time out. When she hit someone I would give her a few minutes in time out.........after a few days she was sweet as gold again and caught the concept
2006-08-10 23:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by hezzy_9805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are 2 very good answers to this.
1. Hit him back and respond, "Did you like that? Well I don't either. Stop hitting me and I will stop hitting you." Does that sound awful? Think about it. When he goes to school, the kids aren't going to stop with what you will be doing. Correction with love is always the best solution.
2. OK, #1 sounds bad. Send him to a preschool. He won't hit long. Some other child will teach him not to hit. Unfortunately, the lesson will be rather painful.
2006-08-10 23:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would love to hear the magic answer to this one! My 16 month old daughter is doing the exact same thing. She does it when excited, mad, lovingly, all the time. It's how they show emotion...but it doesn't feel good obviously. I just find that if you show much dismay when they do it, and show you are hurt it seems to get the reaction you need, from my experience. But it doesn't stop here at this end either....I just hope your son, and my daughter will grow out of it in time. :)
2006-08-10 23:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by the_proms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him why he's getting the spanking. You need to explain that he is getting the spanking because he disobeyed. He'll never learn that you are serious in telling him no if you are all sweet and nice about it. Next time he slaps you, you need to tell him no and if he does it again you need to tell him that he's going to get a spanking because he didn't listen.
They start to understand earlier then you think, they watch everything you do and if you act like it's not a big deal then he'll think it's ok. He needs to understand that it hurts, even if it doesn't. He needs to know that it's not alright to hit.
Hang in there!
2006-08-10 23:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son at the time was 14 months old. he would head butt me in my nose. in which it would cause it to bleed due to the fact that i have a bleeding disorder. i let this go on for six months. yes i did what you did i put him in time out, and i would tell him not to head butt mommy because it hurt. but nothing work til the last time he head butted . he climbed into my bed with me and he head butted me so hard my vision went blurry. so i head butted him back just as hard . now he is 5 years old and he has not done it again. some times you have to be hard on your kids to get your message across. that does not mean i beat my son . but i do believe that you should make your kids mind. no matter the age.
2006-08-11 00:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm. The second one always worked for me with both my kids. They'd start crying to be picked back up the second their feet hit the floor and they wouldn't hit.
If you see he's about to hit you, take his little hand and let him gently touch your face, saying something like "soft touches are nice". Or, do that right after he hits you. If he hits you a second time, then put him down.
Good luck.
2006-08-10 23:11:30 · answer #8 · answered by CCTCC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
12 months??? thats way to young to start correcting him. if he doesn't understand why it is wrong, what you are saying, or what he is doing, then he won't care and won't listen. He is just a baby and full of playfullness. He will grow out of it.
2006-08-10 23:27:44 · answer #9 · answered by blondie_879 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you are doing. At 12 months of age there isn't any reasoning with them. It will improve. Hang in there
2006-08-10 23:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by ldc1129 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋