Should I or shouldn't I?

Question

I think I have my bf's ex's phone number. She likes to call every once in a while "just to check up." I don't like. It wouldn't bother so much except that she knows he's got a girlfriend and when she called on his birthday she said something like, "I'm surprised your girlfriend lets you talk on the phone. We know who wears the pants in this relationship." I've done everything to make him happy and I've never been controlling. I thought it was rude. She lives about 20 minutes from him and the only reason he even answers her calls is that if he doesn't, she keeps calling and calling and calling. I'd like to call the number just to be sure it's her and to tell her to f*** off. He won't do it b/c he doesn't want to cause problems I guess. I think it'd be easier to tell her to leave, but whatever. What should I do?

I should probably mention that I trust my boyfriend and that he would never cheat on me. There's some personal reasons for it, but he has vowed to never cheat on a girl. I don't think he likes her any more either.

Answer 1

I suppose this runs against the tide in terms of your other respondants' advice, but I would ignore the matter entirely and exercise patience. You have what you want--him. She doesn't, and for the same reasons you may find him attractive and desirable to be around, she may be hurting for his company.

It does little but demean you to become embroiled in this frey, as the old saying goes, "if you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas." Accordingly, it is best to leave her to her own devices, and in time I expect she will find other things on which to focus her attention.

At the same time, if you respond to her ministrations, which are already upsetting to you, and to your boyfriend I must assume, do you not pay the price two-fold, first by your own self-indulgence in allowing her to anger you, and second by expending any of your spirit in meanlingless retaliation--as if to signal to her that her hectoring is having the desired effect?

Leave her be and concentrate on your own happiness. Let her wallow in her own misery--alone.

Answer 2

Don't call her up as she'll just keep calling just to get on your nerves knowing how upset it makes you. The next time she calls and you are there that's when you can grab the phone and speak your mind. That way you are showing your boyfriend and her that this must end and not allowed to continue.
Then get an answering machine and screen your calls. If she leaves messages and you have a day/date stamp then you will have proof to get a restraining order against her or a stalking charge if one is applicable in your area.

Answer 3

It does not matter what other people think. You just have to decide either way. My suggestion is to forget it. It is basically a situation that is out of your control. If you call her and say F@## off, she will know that she has psyched you out. You should just let your BF know that you do not appreciate her calling so much. Just say that the ex is cutting into both of your lovey time. No ultimatums please!! You might not like the answer. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

If your relationship is good don't do anything because it will only piss him off. He can handle her if he wants to. Be honest with him and tell him that you don't like them talking all the time. Ask him how he would feel if your ex was always calling you. He should figure out a way to avoid her without pissing her off or making her do something crazy, because she sounds like the type that isn't really over her ex and might try something if he cuts all ties. Good luck with whatever you decide and I would recommend proceeding with caution.

Answer 5

You should talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. Dont go calling his ex behind his back. That could lead to problems. Talking to him and making him understand is the best thing you ca do. Together you can both come up with an answer for your problem.

Answer 6

You need to chill. She's playing a game and he's getting his ego stroked. If you want to be with him go ahead but refuse to be drawn into the game they're playing.

I wouldn't tell her anything.....I would do my thing and not give her another thought. If he's going to cheat with her there's nothing you can do anyway. You can't watch the cookie jar 24/7 and you shouldn't have to.

Answer 7

tell him that him talking to his ex makes you uncomfortable and you would like him to stop. you say that he wants to but you need a definate answer. dont call her if you do she will be satisfied in the knowledge that she is getting to you because by her persistent calling it is obvious that she wants to cause trouble. ask him to change his number. if he doesn't take your feelings into consideration then maybe you need to think about why he keeps talking to her. good luck.

Answer 8

WELL, YOU'RE SAYING THAT HE'S NOT PUTTING HER IN HER PLACE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO CAUSE PROBLEMS, BUT IT'S A LITTLE TOO LATE FOR THAT. THE CHIC IS BEING DISRESPECTFUL. SHE KNOWS THAT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND, AND SHE ALSO KNOWS YOU'RE NOT THE CONFRONTATIONAL TYPE, OTHERWISE YOU WOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING TO HER BY NOW. I APPLAUD YOU FOR BEING THE BIGGER WOMAN, BUT ENOUGH WITH THE GAMES ALREADY! YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS TO MAN-UP AND TELL HER TO STOP CALLING BECAUSE IT'S MAKING YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, UNLESS...HE'S ENJOYING THE ATTENTION, HMMMM

Answer 9

Woman has a kind of instinct to know if the guy is tellin the truth. If you dont trust him, then dump him. No pt guessin n have no peace. If you trust him, just trust him.

Answer 10

Find someone who is really good at "pranks" ! forget practical jokes, go big. Get her picture, that shouldn't be hard, copy it, with 'phone number, say 200 times, post it everywhere.
"For the best bl0 j0b in town call..."
you get the drift.