My mom's a teacher at my school and she's known as the "hot teacher." We're only 14 yrs apart and I'm 13 so I guess people forget she's my mom (incl. male teachers). They ask me personal questions about her, sometimes jokingly though I'm not always laughing. There's this one teacher-before summer break he really wanted to be with my mom even though she kept turning him down. They had a teacher thing at the school one night and her friend couldn't pick her up. Long story short,she came home really late,like 12am, locked herself in the bathroom before I could ask her what happened.
A few days ago, she brought up that night while on the phone and slipped up saying "If he hadn't worn a-" and looked at me nervously before saying nothing. I hear her mention this guy's name and she always shuts down afterwards.
*There's more-I can't fit everything.*
I'm pretty sure I know what happened,and I know she's hiding it from me. I hear her crying sometimes, it upsets her...How do I help her?
2006-08-10 15:47:00 · 25 answers · asked by Zhara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mom probably thinks you're too young to understand her situation. She might also have a need to protect you from something that could be painful for a child to learn about. However, you need to tell her you are hurting each time you hear her crying.
I am concerned he may have forced himself on her and she is blaming herself. Let her know that if that happened, it is not her fault and to go to the police. She needs to be protected as a woman. She is feeling something very painful and she needs help through this.
You are at an age where you can find all sorts of information, tell her this. Let her know that you love her and you want to help her through this, but you can't if she shuts you out.
Maybe you can talk to another woman in your family, who she feels she can confide in, and let this person know what you're witnessing. Somehow she needs support right now.
2006-08-10 16:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by *~*~*~~~His Angel~~~*~*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's an adult, you're not. She'll be fine. All you can do is make her laugh, have fun with her, don't give her a hard time, blah, blah, blah. We all make mistakes, we learn from them. No big deal. Just be a good kid, otherwise life is a drain for a mom. Don't give her any worries and her life will be on an even course very soon. Be her friend, make her an I Love You card, make her dinner one nite, just show her you're making an effort to comfort her in a sweet way and that helps bunches. Remember your place tho, and don't try to be the parent. Adult issues are different than a teens.
As far as people asking personal questions about her, if you don't want to answer, simply smile and tell them, "I can't tell you anything. If I did, then you'd know too much and I'd have to kill you. And, we don't want that, now do we?"
2006-08-10 16:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by snickers_ha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. I think that the best thing that you can do is picture yourself in her situation. You wouldn't want to talk about it, you would just want someone to be there for you-- ya know with the ice cream and the tear jerker movies. Come' on think about it, all your mom really needs is a little comfort, and some breathing room and she'll come around. But don't presure her, just let her know that if she needs you that you will be there. And the most important thing for you to do is not stress her out, clean up the house, and do your chores without her having to jump down your back. Try and make her life a little easier.
I understand why you would feel confused, but sometimes being a daughter really means being a friend, and that's all your mom really wants right now.
2006-08-10 16:00:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sameris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough thing for you to have to know about. It is an adult topic for discussion. Talk to your Mom. Let her know what you heard. Just tell her you love her and don't want to see her hurt or upset. She really should not use you as a confident. She is an adult and you are the child. I would suggest she talk to a friend or a counselor. Tell her how you feel. Remember feelings are not right or wrong, they just are...good luck. Try not to worry. Enjoy having a young pretty Mom. And when others ask you questions or make comments, just say listen guys, she's my Mom okay? I'd rather not discuss things of this nature about my Mom. Just keep saying this, they will eventually stop.
2006-08-10 16:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by sleepless in the ATL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Zhara dear,
You are 13. I know you're looking for help, but these are not the questions suitable for Yahoo! Answers. Read the guidelines. Your mother should not bother you with adult problems. If any teacher approaches you about your mother on a social-personal level, make a report with your school resource officer and file sexual harrassment charges against that teacher. That should make ALL the adults in question act like adults. Embrace your childhood and stop trying to solve mommy's problems. It's just stressing for you.
Be happy!
♥Raylene♥
2006-08-10 15:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by Raylene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 13 and that is a pretty young age to be solving your Mom's problems for her. It must be tough to be so close in age - she is more like a big sister. Does she have a sister or a good friend she can talk to? It is probably an adult problem that she should not be sharing with you - just give her hugs and let her know how much you love her. That helps more than you know. Good luck.
2006-08-10 15:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by momofboys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
say * mom, I know something is bothering you. I know you think I may be to young to know or help you, and maybe you are right. I just want you to know I am here, and I love you. What ever it is that happened, good or bad, we WILL get through it together. *
Then kiss her, and hug her and let her be. She may NOT want you to know, and it could be just a tad to much for her to tell. she is the mother and you the daughter so be respectful of her feelings and wishes.. IF, she feels the need to tell, she will come to you when she is ready. but remember, IF she ever does tell, she is telling you in confidence.. so no matter what it is, you can NEVER react out side the home. if you make a promise KEEP it....... God bless
2006-08-10 16:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something happened that wasn't so good and obviously wasn't something that your mom wanted to happen...she doesn't want to worry you...the best thing that you can do is be there for her....when you see her upset....or you hear her crying...give her a hug...she has adult friends I imagine that she can discuss all the details with...but its most likely not something that you need to hear or even should hear...just comfort her the best you can...you can't change what happened...but you can let her know how much you love her....hope this helped you...its nice to see a child that cares so much...
2006-08-10 15:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by wickedtwiztidmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you know it is personal but it is OK to cry in front/or with you. Tell her you hear her crying and sometimes a hug helps. Ask her if SHE WANTS to talk. Tell her you know she is upset. I would also tell her about the other teacher's asking you about her......that is a LARGE burden for a kid to handle. They should know better...........if it continues-------go to the head of the school.
2006-08-10 15:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by Mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you will be there for her in times of need. I think your mom may be pregnant or something. Either that or she is on a guilt trip of having sex with the guy. Tell her it's ok to talk to you about what happened and that you are really worried about her.
2006-08-10 15:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by Wibble 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋