Regarding issues with my son.?

Question

I have more about my 20 y/o. Since he was 12, he wanted to join the Marine Corp. He has been working on his weight and spending a lot of time studying military stuff. He said his date to enlist would be July of this year, this was January when he told me. I have tried to contact people we knew in Minnesota, nobody really made any effort. I had surgery last month, I wanted to make sure he was o.k. before this was done, in case anything went wrong. Needless to say, I'm going great.

My concern is, either he has enlisted and I can't reach him at all or he's having trouble and is too ashamed to tell me. He had a cell phone, but it's not in service anymore. As a mother, I have addressed quite a few issues with him. My biggest fear is that he is in boot camp and will be deployed to the war within a year.

I have read a lot of answers for my previous questions and I am very grateful. I have his email address also. None of that matters if he is unable to respond to me.

Answer 1

Dear Worried Mom,

Just keep him in your prayers. My son is at an Air Force base in Texas right now, He will soon be transferred to a base where deployment to the Middle East is very high. He is glad to be there and as much as I don't like the idea of my son going, I am proud of him.

I'd rather he did something positive with his life and not hang around with the wrong crowd. He could easily do drugs and die of an overdose somewhere, probably alone. It's hard to be a young man or young woman today, The military is a great place to be in these times. I can be selfish and say, no, I want him home with me. He would be very angry, especially just sitting here waiting for me to die, Read my profile and you'll see what I mean.

I don't believe your son is embarrassed to tell you, if he is in the military. It may be due to the fact he knows how you feel about that and he doesn't want to hear you cry and carry on to him. It will only make things worse for him. As hard as it is to do, let him go.

The job of parenting never stops until we or they die. One thing parents and mother's in particular should be is supportive. I know if I always gave my son the business or put him on a guilt trip, he would not call me. I'd rather hear from him every couple days and have long talks. I am terminally ill and I had to prepare him and his younger brother, 16, for my death, It would be very hipocritical for me to not show him support, even knowing he could die.

Look at it positively. He's doing what he wants to make him a better person, a better son and some day, husband & father. He will have an education a guaranteed good paying job and an opportunity to buy a home while he is still young and enjoy his retirement.

It's hard I know, but at sometime we have to let them go. My prayers are with you and your son.

Scared but proud Military Mom,
Raylene♥

Answer 2

Actually, as a general rule, if the military finds a soldier isn't communicating with his mother, they give him a direct ordet to fix the problem right away. So, do talk to the local recruiters and ask them how to locate him. This is not always a personal choice to hide from you. The military owns him right now and they advocate soldiers writing to their mothers and/or wives.

I agree he is 20, cut him loose. You can worry about him , that is fine, just don't make him listen to it. However, you live in a society which has forgotten that lives are sometimes meant to take risks that could kill them. The Marines understand that.

Is it possible that he could be killed? Sure. There are worse things a young man can do. Talk to parents of a mass murderer or a convicted rapist and you will soon understand what I am saying.

However, the war in Iraq is amazingly safe -- not that it does any good for the families of those few who have died to hear that. But, the death toll is amazingly small in comparison to any other conflict we have had.

Not long ago, on GA, someone was amazed to find the death rate for all military was actually lower than among civilians. It is higher in combat of course, but still very low.

Answer 3

Have you tried filing the missing persons report?
I can't possibly imagine how you feel, all I can say is don't give up. You can pay a visit to your local police station and explain that you are unable to locate your son.

Tell them that he has gone missing for some time now and that you are worried that something has happened to him. They will at that time do a search. You can ask them to do a search and see if he is enlisted with any Army or Marine unit.

I really hope that you locate your son. Good luck

Answer 4

You could try contacting the marine corp. Call a local base and ask if anyone can help you track down someone who recently enlisted. Unfortunately other than that if an adult doesn't want to be found, there really isn't much you can do. Sorry...

Answer 5

You should go to the local recruiting office and ask them to check out if he is on active duty or not. They can find out from his social security number. They can also get you in touch with a Chaplin to explore making contact with him again.

Answer 6

Call the Red Cross and they can find out for you if he is enlisted. Give them his social# and I'm sure they can help you. God Bless!

Answer 7

if you can, contact the marine corp to see if he has enlisted--maybe has he contacted one of his sisters--he might be closer to them--if you have the funds hire a P.I.

Answer 8

cut the apron strings he is 20