Ok, about a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me. I loved her deeply; I was and still am devistated over the breakup. I've let her know how I feel about the whole thing. Since school has started back, she walks up to me and just starts talking like we're the best of buds. I mean just looking at her feels like a punch in the stomach. Obviously, all she wants is to be friends, but I continue to want more or none at all. Any advice from anyone who has been in this situation before? Thanks in advance.
2006-08-10 12:05:17 · 7 answers · asked by sg88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been in a similar situation. There really isn't much you can do. Her being your friend doesn't work because you'll be trying to read into how it can be turned back into the deeper relationship you want but know can't have.
I think the best thing you can do is focus on something else. Train yourself to treat her objectively as an aquaintance. It's actually cool when you find the strength to be able to do this. You'll feel like a mental weightlifter because I know how gutted you feel. But you just gotta be a man about it.
I can tell you that if you truly get over her, that may be the only you may actually have her attracted to yah again. As long as she knows you are in her trap of being in love with her, she'll instinctively take you for granted. By you standing your ground, you'll gain her respect and quite possibly, you'll win her attraction back.
I think for now, do things to release the psychological stress of keeping those feelings locked up inside. Interact with other females, exercise a lot so that you look and feel better about yourself; read a lot; keep your mind busy and eventually, your focus will be in check.
Avoid being the typical "guy" that is clueless and has this stupid notion of purpose. Life is more than going from point A to B. Avoid linear thinking when it comes to women or you'll have a headache. When you try to apply linear logic to women, it's like running into a wall that you will never get around.
Let go of her, and remember this, I say this from experience, the day you actually get over her is an amazing day. You'll feel an incredible rush of "you-ness" again. Usually it happens when you meet another incredible girl (there are lots of them out there) and you realize that your ex "wasn't all that after all."
That's why I encourage you to meet more people. It will cheer you up and distract yourself from gawking over your ex.
2006-08-10 12:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of time is going to have to pass before you can be friends with this person.
Tell her that right now, it isn't possible because it's too painful.
You have to take care of YOURSELF first. And that means getting some distance from her and allowing yourself time to heal.
If she cannot deal with that, it's her problem.
2006-08-10 19:09:50 · answer #2 · answered by brian k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should just tell her "You know u just seem like u don't care about my feelings and it is making me feel worse can u just hear me out" Talk to her about all the feeling u have for her and see what happens after that
2006-08-10 19:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by Music35 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are goin thru this, so am I .... I think best thing, though its probably the hardest is to be civil ... but distance yourself as much as possible.
2006-08-10 19:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by lucy k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If two past lovers can remain friends, either they were never in love or they still are.
God bless!!
2006-08-10 19:13:20 · answer #5 · answered by Your best friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out with all her best friends, that will make her jealous and want you maddly. Good luck.
2006-08-10 19:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Rude dog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eat your heart out!
2006-08-10 21:12:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋