I have been told by people that I am "beautiful" and also that I am "intimidating". I tend to think that I am very friendly with a nice personality, great smile, but no one will ask me out. Why? I have been "dating" this guy for about a year, but he will not ask me out on an "official date", he just comes to where he knows I will be, and then we hang out from there. He should know by now that I will not turn him down. He is about 40 y/o, never had a serious girlfriend. Is he just shy? Any ideas on what is going on with him? Do guys not believe in real dates anymore?
2006-08-10 10:46:58 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, it's a confidence issue. Most men tend to think beautiful/smart women are hard to engage when realistically its the opposite way around. But they start thinking about "what if I get rejected" or "she has got to have high standards" or etc. Us guys, never know for sure, it's always a gamble in our heads. When I say it's "us" and not "you", it's a fact.
2006-08-10 10:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by yogurtsoju 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think there's truth & falsehood in these statements. I've certainly heard bossy unpleasant women say this (meanwhile, I'm thinking, hey--you don't get along with women either!). But come on guys, I've seen plenty of cases where (some) men were clearly uncomfortable around very successful, independent-minded women. Just look at those Hollywood marriages that break up after the woman wins an Oscar. Everyone--ie Hollywood people, the shrinks they get to comment in articles--agree that it's difficult when a man and woman have the same career path and the woman becomes more successful. And most people seem to agree that it's hard on (most) men if their wife makes more $ than they do. Imagine a successful wealthy surgeon who was also a top-level racketball player and who made a fortune in stocks and designed successful iPhone apps on the side. I think most men would be happy to have the good doctor as a pal if he was a man, but would be a little intimidated if the surgeon was a woman. (Unless she had some charming little fear like being afraid to drive on the freeways or scared of insects etc.) What do you think?
2016-03-27 07:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with the 40 y/o sounds almost like stalking.
People sometimes use "intimidating" as a euphemism for stuck up, not saying that you are, but maybe there's something about the way you approach people that comes across that way.
It's also 2006, women are allowed to ask men out. Ask stalker dude out on a real date. Or maybe find a new routine that exposes you to different, more confident men.
2006-08-10 10:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by m&m_manic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men find it intimidating, i dont, you can never succeed if you dont try. This guy sounds like he just has self esteem issues, no confidence at all. if he made it to 40 without ever having a serious relationship that spells trouble, either he never had the balls to ask or there is something seriously wrong with him.
2006-08-10 10:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by Radar 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's possible for a guy to find a woman intimidating, sure. I'd guess this guy thinks that you don't really like him...you just hang out with him. He is waiting for the first 'bad boy' to crawl over and watch you throw yourself at him. Then he can say to himself, 'I knew she was like that all along'.
He will never believe that you won't turn him down. He has heard it thousands of times. A lot of women do the Tease Trick...where they act all sweet and nice around the guy, until he asks her out..then she will scream 'with you, not a chance, loser!'.
2006-08-10 10:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes guys like it if a girl has a bit of vulnerability to her.
They want a girl to need them a little (not to BE needy, but to need them a little)
Maybe you come across as too independent.
Maybe it would be a good idea to make friends with some guys. Then you will get comfortable round them & it'll be easier to meet guys to date. Also, you can ask your male friends why you don't get asked out on dates! They might have some insight.
2006-08-10 10:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Cina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think... at some point of degree, men do find such women a bit intimidating because it is that natural instinct in men that tells them THEY should be the one in the family who makes most... .things like that.
on the other hand, a man can be attracted to a women BECAUSE he is all that you have just described and he finds it thrilling to be in a friendly, harmless "competition" and also finds her independence, dignity, and self-respect to be very sexy.
and about the guy ur interested... you mentioned that he has never had a serious girlfriend. maybe this is his problem. not yours. maybe he thinks being in a relationship is just not for him... it might be called "lack of fear of committment".
meanwhile, good luck and i bet you are as beautiful as the person you want to be!
2006-08-10 10:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by swtxgoodbai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quite the contrary I find it a turn on if more women were more confident it would be easier on guys but some men are not at ease with women like yourself and I don't understand that.
2006-08-10 10:55:30 · answer #8 · answered by lordwhitewolf_m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be shy, I dont find successful women intimidating, but he may, or he just considers you a friend and someonr to talk to, and yes dates are still in perspective
2006-08-10 10:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by captcruzer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't he is interested in you any more than a friend. Maybe he "happens" to be at the same places you are because he doesn't like to go out alone. If he wanted to date you, he would have asked by now.
2006-08-10 10:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by Hot Pants 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋