How many of you were beaten as a child?

Question

I was all the time. My dad would use his belt, his hand, bash our heads together. My mom had to hide my older brother once because my dad kept beatin him up, he was 12.
My dad has threatened to kill me as well, my mom never did anything about it.He even said once that it he went to jail for beating us, when he got out, he would do it again.
Has this affected the way you parent your children? It has for me, I won't put my hands on them.

My dad beat up my older brother on the church lawn because he didn't weed his part of the vegetable garden.
He used to make us it hot peppers or drink the juice if we talked back.
Once my brother was made to eas coleslaw, it made him sick and he you know in his slaw, my dad and his mother made my brohter eat it anyway.
i could never magine doing things like this to my kids. Why do people do it?

Counseling honestly never occured to me, and this has been about 15 years ago. All I know is I hate my dad for it and he still scares me to this day. I'm 31 now.

This is from my step father, my real dad never wanted anything to do with me as far as he was concerned I haven't been his since birth because I didn't look like anyone in the family when I was born.
He accused my mom of cheating eventhough I look just like him now.
Stepdad scared the hell out of me.

I have 5 kids of my own. 10, 8,6,5, and 5 months. i love them and could never imagine hurting them like my dad did to me. I will spank with my hand, but even that makes me feel terrible.

Answer 1

I have had a less than...shall we say ... peaceful? childhood .. in fact the complete opposite! during my entire life i had kept trying to find ways to the point that i actually left home to go live with someone .. i wondered day to day why i was so hated ..

I have a 5 year old daughter now whom i love very much and in return she has given me the same .. she's been not only my flesh and blood but also my healer and one that gives me unconditional love and respect in return .. that's what parenthood should be like .. i'm divorced now btw with an ex spouse constantly defamating me to strangers as my daughter tells me with a bit of fear that her mother will found out she told me this .. even then i tell her and teach her that i don't believe in retaliation and anger...and that i believe in forgive and forget ..

I think about the past and i find that the reason why i was beat day after day was because my father liked control .. he liked things done his way and if it wasn't done his way he figured that he should engrave his way into my head or bruise me up and hope that i would have learned my lesson .. even then though i promised to myself i would never harm my own child the same way ..

I can't even begin to understand why some parents out there these days try to control their children through fear...instilling fear and violence doesn't benefit anyone..it just passes it on to the next generation and again and again until someone puts a stop to it .. and besides why would anyone want an innocent child to feel fear towards them instead of mutual respect and love? makes you wonder doesn't it?

I'm not sure if you have children yet but .. when you do .. and i'm not trying to be rude and i don't mean any malice..your father shouldn't be left alone with your children at any time ... it's obvious that he will just teach your kids that it is alright to hit and thus create more violence in the family .. he needs to go to an anger management group so they can figure out why he is so angry .. once they narrow down the cause they'll be able to provide counselling .. and as a result he'll be more at peace ..

Good luck and wish you all the best!

Answer 2

my dad used to beat me when i was a kid... i went to some counseling at my church with my pastor, and basically had to make the decision to figure him... i am due any day with my first little girl and my husband and i vow to never spank her or lay a hand on her in any way. it's alot to get over.. i know... it's taken awhile, and yes, it was my stepdad.. my mom didn't do anything about it and i was so mad at her for awhile, but now we have a good relationship as i've gotten past all this.. you will never feel better about it unless you can forgive.. it's a hard thing, but it's the only thing that will help you. doesn't mean that you have to go on and have a lovey-dovey relationship with your stepdad or anything.. but that you can just move on and and not dwell on it... hope it gets better for you... seriously try the forgiveness thing though... it seems hard.. and might take a couple years (did for me) but now i can say that i love my dad and really mean it. it also helps to understand more where he comes from and why he does the things he does...

Answer 3

I was also physically abused by my stepfathers, and I can assure you my daughter is not going to be beaten, even in a non-abusive way. There are other ways to deal with children. It takes a psychological toll, and it messed me up as an adult in a lot of ways. I know that I did not need to be beaten 95% of the times I was. Just don't hold a grudge, especially against your mom. If he beat you, chances are that just like my mom, yours was getting beaten as well. The one good thing that came out of it was being a much stronger person than my mom was, and being able to spot an abusive guy a mile away and telling him to hit the road.

You'll be fine, we all will.

Answer 4

I was not beaten but I did get spanked now an then and got the belt when I really did something stupid such as the time I thought it would be a good idea to ride my bigwheel to the mall at age 5. Not a very smart thing to do.

I have a soon to be 8yr old daughter but she has never done anything stupid enough for me to spank her but I would spank her if I felt it was needed but then again there is a huge difference in spanking and beating your kids.

There are some children in this world that at times need a swift hand across the backside.

Answer 5

i agree but no i wasn't beat as a child i was the opposite daddys pride noone even told me no untill i was 12 lol people say thats why i am the way i am lol but i agree no one should put their hands on a child unless it is with their hand and then not out of anger i do suggest counseling for u even though it has been such a long time ago it can't hurt u should give it a try

Answer 6

I was never beaten. Im sure I was spanked but obviously not hard enough to remember it. But my brother and I must have been spanked cause I remember the paddle my mom had in a cabinet in the kitchen. It was originally a wooden sword that my brother made, but my mom flattened the end to make a paddle. If I did get spanked Im sure I deserved it, but it didnt cause me any permenant emotional trauma.

Answer 7

I was never beaten as a child. But, we ( sister, brother & I) were spanked from time to time. I think it is fine to spank when you need to. But, beating is another story. Beating should never be done to anybody. I have a 3 year old boy and he does get spanked when he needs it, like running into the street or parking lot. I will not spank him when he spills his juice.

Answer 8

Have you had counseling for this? It may affect you in ways that you don't even realize. I was spanked with a belt but that was about it. I think that no matter how we were raised, the things that our parents have done affect our parenting whether it be for the better or the worse.

Answer 9

You don't have to beat your children but you do have to discipline them. I don't think a spanking is harmful. There's a difference between spanking and beating.

I'll tell you what, since you shared, I will share. Yes, my father beat us. I know for a fact that he never had a hand laid on him as a child. Would I not lay a hand on my children, if I had them? I think there has to be a happy medium and like I said, children need to be disciplined, it's that simple. I would spank my children, if I had them, if they deserved it, sure. I wouldn't want them to turn out like my father. Would I beat them? No. I wouldn't want them to turn out like me.

Answer 10

I was did receive beatings as a child. I think they boardered on child abuse and given todays standards of abuse they would be!
I am sorry for what you and your brother have been through.

I don't have children, but I would like to think that I wouldn't hit them. Hitting anyone is truly insane, it proves that you are out of control.