He's: Younger Less Traditional + You: Very Traditional, how can you make the wedding acceptable for both?

Question

....I know there is happy compromise, but certain things some people just WON'T bend on, how can you make both sides satisfied and happy?

Answer 1

I am facing something similar with my boyfriend (I'm religious and want a traditional wedding, and he wants it outside and casual). Here are some compromises we made:
- we are getting married in the church because my religion requires it
- we are having the reception at a lake to please him (instead of the banquet hall I want)
- we are having a traditional cake, but his sister will decorate it so it is bright and less formal
- instead of white flowers, we are incorporating the irises and roses he loves (so inside the church will be similar to a garden wedding)
- instead of having a full religious service, we are having just the bare essentials (I'm catholic-- so we are going to limit the readings, uber-catholicism, and not have communion because only 1/4 of the guests will be catholic. Just religious enough to count for our kids being legitimate)
- He wants an open bar for his frat brothers to get smashed, I am fine with it being dry, we are compromising with beer and wine because of the lake being on back roads
- as far as guest, I like lots of family, he likes lots of friends. We only have the budget for 150 people. We made a list of absolutley essentual mutual friends and people in the wedding party, and subtracted it to get 122 people left over, so we each get to invite 61 people of our choice so we don't have to bicker over whether my aunt or his frat brother is more important.
- for food, we are working together to pick 3 meals that we can agree on and having our guest chose which one they want when the RSVP

I hope this helps you see how I am doing it.

Good luck and Congratulations!

Answer 2

Figure it out together.

What do you want and why?
What does he want and why?

Think of planning a wedding as a group decision. Do everything together and discuss. Be sure to be honest, open, and not afraid of a different opinion. He's going to be your husband. Planning a wedding may be the first hurdle you go over.

Think of it as a team effort and you'll be fine. If you work at it together, leaving NO PARTY unhappy, then life will be good. You just have to find the happy medium.

Most important you have to be honest about your opinion and your reasoning.

If you are DYING for a church wedding, agree that you'll have the reception in a funky place. If you really want to have a long train and he doesn't, let him know that it's only for the ceremony. You'll use a bustle for the reception.

Communicate!

Answer 3

I won't say you're loopy, regardless of if it rather is just one thing which will not be able to be completed. Your wedding ceremony is the day you get married on the courthouse. You get sooner or later to be bride and groom. After which you're husband and spouse, so which you may't have yet another wedding ceremony. you've got a social gathering-- you in basic terms approximately will not be able to have a reception, by using fact a reception is to thank travellers for coming on your wedding ceremony, which they did not do. in case you pass off to deployment or survive base after he's deployed, human beings will surprisingly a lot know you're married at that factor. the only factor you're able to do is have a blessing of your marriage or a vow renewal. i'm not sure how quickly "quickly" is for deploying, or if the army is time-honored with of he would be taking over yet another based (you) in the present day. regardless of if, i think of you would be happier with a midsection floor in case you have a pair of months to plot. First discover an officiant and ceremony venue for a date, with a bit of luck a pair of weeks till now your fiancé has to pass. you will get a attractive gown off the rack, he can placed on his gown blues. you may %. a shade and function a pair of your acquaintances get outfits in that shade to be bridesmaids. you may order common plant existence, lease a venue, have cake and poo and beverages, in all probability another appetizers, OR have acquaintances do the foodstuff -- common, good foodstuff -- and rejoice the day with your acquaintances and kinfolk. then you definately've had your wedding ceremony -- possibly not particularly the blowout you've got in case you had a 12 months to plot, yet nonetheless rather large, and relaxing, with the main severe human beings there.

Answer 4

You need to sit down with just your fiance and discuss what is important to each of you. Then negociate. You may HAVE to have to color pink, while he may HAVE to have 15 groomsmen. Pick your battles carefully.
Marriage is about compromise. You may as well learn to do it right.

And remember, this is a wedding, not a production or something to impress your guests. It is a very intimate time between you & your fiance where you are allowing people to share in this special moment.

Good Luck!

If you need anything, give me a shout either here or through my site
http://www.weddingvowsandpromises.com

Answer 5

You'll have to bend on the things that affect him directly ... and on those that really aren't as important to you. Other items that really don't concern him (i.e. your dress, flowers, etc.) should be your choice. However, you're going to have to let go of YOUR picture of the "perfect day." It will need to be a combined photo of yours and his perfect day.

My fiancee and I both have different ideas. I decided to let him choose the men's wear... with no restrictions other than color. Instead of tuxedos or suits, they're going to wear silk shirts and slacks. I am going to be in my gown and we'll both be happy. Good luck!

Answer 6

come on you can make this work. let the guy show up in jeans, while you wear the bridal dress. have the wedding in a nice park where lots of flowers are in bloom. instead of catering a big feast, have everyone bring a pot luck dish. in today's world, we make our own wedding. have fun with it.

Answer 7

It depends on what things are most important to you - do you want to marry in a church, he does not? Do you want a large formal reception, he does not? What, specifically, are the sticking points?

Answer 8

maybe u guys can have a simple ceremony... but elaaaborate reception?!

Answer 9

please only the bride and groom no one else has a say unless the parents are paying for it