Am I a fool?

Question

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years. He still haven't asked me to get married. He then wants to move in. I told him that I don't want to move in unless I'm engaged. He thinks I'm a Way out of line. IS it out of line for me to say that to him? How do I get a him to understand where I'm coming from?

Answer 1

nope baby girl, you need this quide line. and it's a good one. if you never bring it up, he won't. don't give in baby girl. you're doing good.

Answer 2

He wants the benefits without the commitment. I moved in with my husband the day I got married. We were engaged after six months. For a lot of people six months may not be enough, but seven years is plenty of time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. It's not a good idea to give him the ultimatum either marry me or it's over. A marriage based on that wouldn't have very good chances. I would seriously reconsider that relationship altogether.

Answer 3

Girl I'm having the same problem! I don't think it's wrong at all as a woman we have dreams and we want them to come true. You are right for asking for a ring at least before you move him in. There isn't anyway you can get him to understand cause men like him have they mind set in there own way they just understand what they want. But stick to your grounds and if he doesn't come to realize what he needs to do leave his *** alone. Cause he will never give you what you want and every woman's dream is to get married so don't let him rob you of that. 7yrs is more than enough time to be with someone and not even get a ring that's ****** up. But good luck with everything.

Answer 4

It isn't way out of line. 7 years is a long time to be with someone without deciding if you want to continue to be with them. If you don't want to live with him without being engaged, then don't. Don't use it as a form of blackmail though. If he doesn't see you guys ending up married and if that's what you want, it might be time for a serious chat. How old are the two of you?

Answer 5

If you have been with him for 7 years and no engagement, all he is wanting to do is live off of you. He knows that with marriage he is bound by certain laws, but just living with you he can get around them (i.e. child support if there are children, financial responsibilites). It's time to tell him that you two either get married or it is over. I'm not a fan of ultimatums, but a decision should have been made before 7 years. Good luck.

Answer 6

hello there!

You have a point and it is not way out of line. You are a girl and he should respect your decision from moving in. Well of course he is quite upset but he should understand that moving in is not just moving a closet or a table, you'll both live in a same roof not just an ordinary people but like a couple that would share the way of living. Though not still a couple its like you will live like it. Maybe his still not ready for it, then if that is settle on what both you have and plan for it. Hope that would help. God bless! =)

Answer 7

No you aren't out of line, you want what you want and there is no right or wrong about it! The question is what are you waiting for? You obviously want to get married, he obviously doesn't 7 years???? How long are you going to wait? If his goals in life are simply different than yours are it may be time to realize this isn't the relationship for you after all! You shouldn't have to WORK at getting him to understand, you told him how you feel about it and that should be enough. Anything else means he's trying to push you and control you. STICK TO YOUR GUNS! You teach people how to treat you and if you cave in on this, compromise yourself, he will continually push you to keep doing it, if you stand up for yourself now he will realize you aren't one to be pushed around and he won't try! I think if after 7 years he hasn't asked you to marry him it is pretty apparent that he never will. If you ask me you have waited too long already! Good luck!

Answer 8

It's obvious that your idea of commitment is different from his. This does not bode well for your future together. I would tell him very clearly that you are not going to reverse your decision about being officially engaged before you begin to live together. Commitment and communication are everything in a relationship. If he hasn't caught on to that understanding after 7 years of dating, you should think about moving on with your life without him. Also, you say you've "been in a relationship." You never say "I've been in love with ....." What does that tell you?

Answer 9

No your not out of line at all and stick to what you want and nothing less. If you have been in a relationship for seven years he has it made without the I DO......In God's sight marriage and then live together any other way is a sin .

Answer 10

Jen,

Speaking from past experience....don't try to force him to get married!
You are setting up yourselves for failure. Why would you even want to marry someone who doesn't really want to marry you or that you feel you have to coerce? He may want to try living together first to see if you two "can" live together first before you make a commitment of marriage. BOTH of you should be sure 100% before you make that decision to marry. He obviously isn't ready to get married. If you don't feel comfortable just living with him then don't allow him to move in with you. It seems as though you both need to work on communication with each other.
If "it" is meant to be, it will happen. Don't force it as you will only end up heartbroken. Good luck Jen!

Answer 11

After 7 years you should be able to say anything you want!!! If he thinks your out of line after that long, he may never plan on getting married to you.