My friend cheats on his wife and brags about it constantly as if I'm supposed to be proud of him. I like his wife very much and hate to see my friend make her look like a fool. I'd like to tell her but, on the other hand, I don't want to ruin my friend's "relationship" because he's a good guy (other than this). What should I do?
2006-08-10 08:51:58 · 17 answers · asked by Manning on the run 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
What ever you do, don't tell his wife, that's not your job, it's his.
Tell you friend that you won't listen to his affairs anymore because it turns you off.
If he continues, don't acknowledge, just walk away. He'll get the point. He just wants someone to brag to. If you don't listen he won't see the point.
His wife will find out soon enough....poor thing.
2006-08-10 09:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
cheating is a major character flaw. bragging is even worse. consider this....if he does not value the relationship with his wife (which is a pretty serious relationship) imagine how much he values your friendship? i think perhaps you value it more than he does. i would not however get involved in the situation, however, since he bragged to you, the best way to handle it if at all, is to confront him, not his wife. you can tell him what you think, but it sounds like he would not listen. i would find a better friend. she will eventually find out on her own.
2006-08-10 17:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by JUDAS PRIEST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one is a slam dunk. Stand up to him and let him know that a marriage is a sacred thing. That him cheating on his wife shows he is a man of no character, and you do not want to spend your time with him. If we treated more men like this with accepted disdain, maybe the people would think before cheating on thier spouces. Maybe they would relize that what they are doing is wrong and would not go onto paths away from goodness.
b
2006-08-10 16:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by Bacchus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's bragging about cheating on his wife, chances are their relationship is already ruined. Tell her in private -- you owe her the truth -- and then leave your friend and his wife to argue it out on their own.
2006-08-10 16:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by Isis-sama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he still your friend?
He sounds like an a$$.
Tell him that you think he's an a$$, and he should figure out what's wrong with his brain that he thinks it's not only okay to cheat on his wife, but that he's PROUD of it.
Tell him that he needs to seek help.
Tell him that you don't wish to associate with him any longer.
Tell his wife that you no longer are willing to associate with her husband, and that she should probably ask him why, but that you doubt he'd give her a straight answer.
Then remove yourself from the whole deal. If she wants to, she'll figure it out on her own. Your friend is disgusting. Allowing your spouse to think that they are in a safe, monogamous relationship is the lowest form of disrespect. Don't let him give you that I love her but.... crap either. No excuses. He's sick and he needs help.
He ruined his own marriage. Quit condoning his actions. There should be consequences for his low moral character. He's not your friend. A friend would never find it necessary to drag you into their drama, and expect you to support their bad behavior, and expect you to be part of it by witholding facts from his family.
Good luck.
2006-08-10 16:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with jurydoc, you should warn him that you will if he doesn't clam up about it. Is this a guy you shoot hoops with, a casual friendship? From my point of view, it's not worth getting yourself in the middle if you're not closer friends. Obviously, he thinks you share his macho, locker-room values. You need to set him straight on where you stand, which is with his wife and her self-respect. Not hearing him brag will lessen the angst you feel for his wife.
2006-08-10 16:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could somehow send an anonymous email or a card in the mail from- "someone who cares" and fill her in on dates and times you know he cheats. Its quite possible she will "check up" on your friend just out of curiosity. You're not the bad guy here and this way only YOU know how she found out. If you get questioned- Tell your "friend" women aren't "stupid" they have a very good intuition about these things. Also, in time he will get careless and sloppy about his "secret" and get caught all by himself. Been in your shoes, it's not easy to watch that go on.
If you do send email or card make SURE you can't be traced back to sender!
2006-08-10 16:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by naonip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude he is ruining the relationship. I don't care if he can do alchemy on the side he is cheating on his wife. He could crap diamonds and you know what he is STILL cheating on his wife, and then BRAGGING about it. She deserves to know if for no other reason then the bragging.
2006-08-10 15:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Normally, I would say don't interfere with couple's problems, but, your friend is no friend, & may be bringing uncurable STDs home to his wife. How selfish can one be!?
2. Send an anonymous letter to her letting her know that you are concerned for her safety. Have specific first names of women he has cheated with, so he can't deny it when she confronts him. She may already have her suspicions. Have someone you know, preferrably a female, who doesn't know her, write or type the letter, so he/she won't trace it to you.
3. If they part ways, drop his friendship and keep hers. If they don't part ways, drop both. It's bad news.
2006-08-10 19:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that he is cheating. Just make sure he doesn't know its you who found out. You also should stop hiding it. You are hurting people by not telling it. He must realize what he is doing is wrong. He better face the facts that the truth has been told.
2006-08-10 15:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by vinible2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋