I’ve dated 2 guys this summer…the first one was an instant connection and we were really perfect for each other… he was a year older than me (just graduated… heading off to college this fall), had a decent job and was waaaay cute…well we’d been dating almost a month and then I went on a mission trip. This is where things started to get complicated…I hung around with a couple of friends (guy and a girl) who I see at school everyday but generally don’t hang around with because they’re a year younger than me… well, after being around them for practically 24/7 I started developing feelings for the guy… at first I tried to suppress the feelings thinking that my head was just messing with me…but after awhile it just got worse and I started flirting real bad with him (actually he started it… and I just didn’t have the willpower to stop him)… I was never technically the first guy’s gf… I just felt bad ...and he still doesn’t know. Well, when I got home… I just kind of shrug it off as … “what happened on the mission trip, stays on the mission trip” … after a couple days the guy I was dating decided to break things off because he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship with college around the corner….so instead of bawling my eyes out like any normal girl who is dating a great guy would do… I heaved a big sigh of relief… cuz I really didn’t even know what I wanted yet…so about another week passed and after numerous times of trying to get in touch with the second guy… I finally got a hold of him…I told him about the “break-up” and we almost immediately started hanging out/dating … this made my parents extremely uncomfortable because they thought I had just lowered all my high standards for dating boys and thrown them out the window… this boy was a year younger than me… we really didn’t have all that much in common (true) and could I really see myself in a long term future relationship with him? (not much past high school….) so after 2 weeks of this hanging out/dating/making out relationship… I decided that I couldn’t take things any further… and so I broke up with him…I didn’t want to get too deep in a relationship that I know would not end up as serious… and I didn’t want to lead him on and break his heart later (like at the end of the summer) … I just don’t know if I was truly acting on my feelings… or just taking the easy way out because I’m not comfortable dating someone whom my parents don’t approve of… I’m not sure if I did the right thing or not…
2006-08-10 08:48:04 · 27 answers · asked by shortchic070307 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the fact that he is a year younger than me really had nothing to do with it.... my mom is a year older than my dad... I have no problems with dating a guy younger than me...except for this one had no car of his own... (not even his license bc of grades...) and not much of a job either ...
2006-08-10 09:17:53 · update #1
u know what.. u seem like a very decent person who is in Life situations right now. u are gaining experience Daily, which is awesome, cuz as a young person, u need to learn what it is to date people, and know people, and understand ur feelings and emotions and so on.
first of all, my advice is not to regret what u've done in the past. u know why? because u did what u felt u had to do at the time. not because u were selfish, but because u were following ur conscience, and understanding factors involved, such as ur parents. that is great; in fact, that's what u Should do at ur age! there is a reason why ur parents are protective over u.. it doesn't always mean they are right, but i believe they are raising a really great young woman so far. :) because u are able to use all these factors that u feel, including your own feelings of Unsureness about this mission guy, etc, to come to conclusions and act on it. obviously u did care enough for this guy to not want to hurt him later.... that is a good way to think because u don't want to regret That later if u didn't listen to urself.
just continue to Learn, grow, and be Positive in ur life. remember these things as u continue on ur quest to understand yourself and ur dating life, as well as ur relationships w/ ur friends and family. it will help shape u into a great person in the future, where u will not regret ur past. make informed decisions, and if u make mistakes, it's OK. because u did ur best at each time, w/ the information that u had. if u made a mistake, learn from it, grow, and turn yourself into someone Better. if u can do that, and be confident and happy in urself, then u will be able to filter out the negative things that try to bring u down. and u will be able to find someone who is just as confident and happy and positive as you. u will know what is right and wrong.. keep searching. good luck!
2006-08-10 08:55:59 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are very young. Why is dating a guy a year younger than you so awful?And I thought a mission trip was about church and not meeting boys. Silly me.
You are not comfortable dating someone of whom your parents disapprove? I think that is really important for right now.
They are paying your freight, and know better for now.
When you get out on your own, and are old enough to make your own decisions, their approval will be less important.
I think you did the right thing. I wish you would stay too busy to date for a while.
2006-08-10 09:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my dear there are a thousand things one can write about your particular predicament, but its best to leave it to the experts. I'm not a biblical schooler, but her are some good references that might give you some direction - only problem is that I only know the names of the books in spanish, but I'm sure you'll be able to find then in an English:
Provervios 31:30 beauty is vanity
Proverbios 11:22 some time beautiful is ugly
Proverbios 28:26 don't follow your heart think with your head
1 Corintios 13:4,5 what is true love?
Best of luck, and Godspeed
2006-08-10 08:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly my good factor is on occasion my worst high quality, and my undesirable factor is on occasion my good high quality... good - such as you i'm overly honest, yet many instances to a fault. For some reason I in no way think of of "cushioning" a number of my truths. of direction this one is nice too by using fact i'm an extremely truthful guy or woman that's some thing that unquestionably everyone enjoys having around. undesirable - Very aggressive, once I get into some thing, i'm getting into it huge TIME, whilst i don't hotel to cheating or something, i could be very hyperactive and obnoxious in some situations in the time of it. On an outstanding for this one however, i'm in no way keen to resign no remember how bleek the area might look because of this stable aggressive spirit.
2016-10-01 22:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by gates 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey, you did just fine. you didn't sleep with any ones boyfriend, or cheat on someone you were in love with and had a commitment to. first of all, guys do stuff like that all the time, and it is fine for them, the only difference is, is that women have a conscience. and we care about peoples feeling, and we certainly don't want to look like sluts. second, you are young and having fun. keep it up without being too promiscuous. trust me, you want to feel out your options, and experience everything you can, cause once you fall in love and get married and have kids, that is it. you are done, and there is no more having fun with different guys and going out and partying. you are with that person for the remainder of your marriage!! so enjoy it while you can, cause love could be hiding around the corner and you don't want any regrets, or 'what ifs'!!
2006-08-10 08:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by joo_0420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of the what the real why is, you did the right thing. It isn't fair to give someone false hope for a future that you know can never be. Good job and not taking the easy way out and waiting till he was completely hooked on you and unable to let go.
2006-08-10 08:55:40 · answer #6 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the problem? You've lived and learned a little bit more about who you are. Neither of these "relationships" were even serious to begin with anyway, so move on and hopefully the next guy will be someone super cool too!
2006-08-10 08:54:04 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to contradict your parents, so you should definitely listen to them. However, I would question why you would want to be in a serious relationship at your age anyway. I assume you are about 17. Your whole life is ahead of you. My perspective would be to date guys who are fun to hang with and who don't want inappropriate things out of the relationship, and don't get too serious with anyone until you are ready to get serious. I will pray for you. May God bless and keep you.
2006-08-10 08:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by blowry007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing someone for two weeks doesn't make you a couple. It's cool to hang out and kick it, but you really don't even know someone that well to be in a relationship after only two weeks.
2006-08-10 09:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by Hollywood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK.....date whoever you want, your parents might not like them, but if he is making you happy at the time then date him......if he doesn't make you happy then don't date him....parents hardly ever approve of a guy that their daughter is dating....you are in high school...have fun with your life, don't be so set on settling down now....you have the rest of life
2006-08-10 08:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by jennifer_spanky2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋