What are some great jokes?

Answer 1

Three female cats were bragging about their kittens.
The first cat said,"My kittens are part Persian.
Their father was a pure Persian cat."

The third cat said nothing.The second cat said, "Well, that is nothing.
My kittens are part Siamese.Their father was a pure bread Siamese."

The third cat still said nothing.

Then the first two cats asked her,"What are your kittens?"

She replied,"Oh, I don't know.I had my head stuck in the tuna can at the time."

Answer 2

Do you know this one?

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for three weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Three weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $18.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very well, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for three weeks for only $18.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke!

Answer 3

hey loon, why be jerk? if you dont have a joke then dont answer (clown)

anyway,
what do you call a smart blond? = a natural brunette
what do you call a dumb brunette? = a natural blond
what does a blond say after intercourse? = are you all from the same team?

Answer 4

A freind told me this:

The blonds wanted to prove that they are not stupid so they got themselves on a TV show and told the show hostess to start asking the smartest blond questions.

Hostess: Question number 1, what's 124+264?

Smart blond: (thinking) I know, it's 288!!!

All the other blonds: Give her another try, give her another try!!!

Hostess: All right then, what's 24+35??

Smart blond: Umm.... 35!!!!

Other blonds: give her another try, give her another try!!!

Hostess: Fine then, what's 1+1??

Smart blond: I KNOW THIS!! IT'S 2!!!!!

Other blonds: Give her another try, give her another try!!!

Answer 5

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 6

I hope you don't find this offensive...

An old man was lying in bed watching TV and his wife was in the shower, she was feeling a bit amorous.. so she dries off, puts on her robe & walks in front of the TV and rips off the robe and yells "super p_ssy" while shaking her hips..

The old man says "I'll take the Soup"....

Answer 7

what is a Good food plus a bad food peanuts!

Answer 8

how do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
When her tampon is in her ear and she can't find her pencil!LOL

Answer 9

the only difference between geneuis and stupidity is that geneuis has its limits.

i wish my grass was emo....then it would cut itself

God said let their be light... Chuck Norris said:"Say cheese"

Answer 10

Your ears.