My friends say it's unfair but, i don't no
2006-08-10 08:23:48 · 20 answers · asked by Tia14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would hate that. But if it is your culture, I guess there's not really too much you can do about it. I think it's awful. Sorry for ya!
2006-08-10 08:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the truth of the matter is that FAR less divorces occur in arranged marriages than in your standard marriage (I think it's somewhere around 10% as opposed to 50%?).
Americans (or rather... non-arranged-marrying people) tend to think it's "unfair," but usually only because we're not used to the idea and it's so culturally different from us. Don't let your friends change your mind about something you're not *against* unless you're seriously interested in other people or seriously don't want to marry the guy your parents pick.
If he's a good guy, and *you personally* don't have a problem with it, then I would say go with your heart and trust your parents--but don't deny your tradition for your friends or for the sake of "BEING A FREE WOMAN NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO!!!" It's only outdated if it doesn't work, and lots of fulfilling arranged marriages still happen. ;)
2006-08-10 15:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Tedium 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the same for my culture but luckily my mum isn't going to make me have an arranged marriage.
My cousins recently got married and they wanted to have an arrange marriage, as long as their happy and don't mind getting married to someone their parents have chosen then it's fine.
At the end of the day how do you feel?
It can work out for many couples but for some it doesn't...don't worry you can always have a divorce lol.
I don't know if i'd say it's unfair because it's part of your culture. Friends sometimes don't understand, they wouldn't as it's not their culture is it.
;-)
2006-08-10 15:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your culture, most English people find difficult to understand. You know that you're parents would be shocked to hear you questioning tradition. If you wish not to follow your tradition you know that you cannot mention this to your parents.
I personally do not think it right that your parents choose your future husband, but your parents believe they are doing the right thing.
I find this subject difficult to discuss as I am not from the same culture as you, I was born and bred in England, but have a look at www.direct.gov.uk for advice. Plus there are other agencies out there that would help you if you have any problems regarding this subject.
2006-08-10 15:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it depends how you've been brought up. I'd be horrified at the thought in case of many things going worng. I think everyone has a right to chose. However, from what I can gather, very few arranged marriages fail. I do not know whether it is because people from your culture, for example, make a real effort, or whether many live in misery because they are too scared to say anything to offend the family.
2006-08-10 15:44:21 · answer #5 · answered by Linda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being from the USA and not of a culture that believes in arranged marriage I don't feel that it is fair. BUT, I have friends who were raised in a culture that believes in arranged marriage. My friends have married the men they were supposed to marry and the marriages have lasted for many years. I think you need to do what is best for YOU! Good luck with your decision.
2006-08-10 15:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Deana G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend from the same sort of tradition. She fell in love with a very nice guy and he with her.
Her parents met him and liked him. They all sat down like the adults they were and the parents arranged the marriage between the two of them.
8 years on and 3 children later they seem to be happier than ever.
2006-08-10 15:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by Storm Rider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not fair because you would be forced to marry someone that you don't even know or love and thats just not right. You should have the choice to decide who is best for you and ask God to send you your husband. Life like your culture lives is unfair but its their tradition and I can't judge anything about what i don't know. I just pray that whomever they pick for you will be loving and kind and worth of your love. I'm sorry that you have to endure this and I will pray for you. God bless you
2006-08-10 15:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is. It is your own life and therefor you should be the only one to make plans for it. Lets think for a second. What if you dont like the guy that your parents have chosen for you. You can not stay like that forever honey. It is better not to marry him though your parents will not be happy so then do so but regret it for your whole life. Good luck!!!
2006-08-10 20:20:11 · answer #9 · answered by Angel From The Hell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your culture. In America you have the freedom to chose. But your culture is still very important. That is a hard question, I guess it all comes down to you. Do you want to allow that because of your culture? If it's ok with you, nothing else should matter.
2006-08-10 15:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by Susa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋