She's not into it at all. She's kind of antisocial, not clinically, but generally. But she's been battling serious depression and hasn't told anyone about her having cancer. I just found out yesterday and she was diagnosed in October.
Anyone had a friend/relative who wasn't into talking about it.
2006-08-10 08:19:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
This is a tricky one as your friend has other problems as well.
Firstly i would say to you is not pressure her into doing something that she wont be comfortable with. Is there any support groups that you can see if you can have someone come to the home to talk to her. I would encourage you to be there for her as this is not a nice disease to be fighting on your own.She may be very scared.
i lost my dad to this disease and i remember being given this advice don't talk to them about it let them start of talking about it as if they want to talk about it let them be the one to start it not you.
Ask her if she wants you to come along with her for her treatment even if you cant be in the room at least she knows that your not very far away. The day my dad started treatment my mum brother and me were there to support him.
Go on the Internet and see different cancer web pages to see if they can help you.
Good luck
2006-08-10 08:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by al 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force/convince someone to go somewhere they do not want to be. I had a friend who was the same way. The only thing that you can do so that things are not awkward, is research the type of cancer your friend has. Become more knowledgable. Show your support and love. Most of all do not treat her any differently. Still go catch a movie, and hang out at your/her favorite places. Make the most of both your lives. Never stop caring, never make her feel like you have stopped caring. Someday when she is ready to make her peace, she will come around. With that there will be a sweetness that will linger in the air. Until then, things may not be easy, and there will no doubt be many trials and tribulations. Hold on tight, and remember she needs a true friend. Don't just be there for the sake of being, really be there.
2006-08-10 15:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by kalina_ca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at the age of 19. (I was already a mother of two and divorced so I had a life of my own) My kids got me through it. No time to cry when there is a diaper to change. I didn't want pitty and didn't tell people about it until it started interfering with my life. Like missing work etc... Your friend needs your support not the support of strangers. I found the most comfort in cancer chat rooms. I tried one of those support groups....the stories just scared the crap out of me. Don't force her. Just be there. Don't pitty her and let her read my answer. She isn't alone.
2006-08-10 15:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by murph_ltt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to realize that this is her problem. While you are such a good friend and you two most likely share many of the same things, you do not necessarily deal with stress in the same manner. The best thing for you to do is to tell her that you are there for her, offer her your support, and let her know where the support groups are and what they do. She will go if she needs to, and you will most likely be the first to know. Other than that, let her make up her own mind. Things will work out. Good luck.
2006-08-10 15:42:20 · answer #4 · answered by Ca-C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a good friend that really cares. It is always a good idea to have support but if she is not ready for it..then all the suport she needs is you and her family. I know you think it is the best thing to do....but that will be for you....not her.....she is different and needs to take her own time...do not push her into anything. Listen to what she NEEDS and forget about wehat you THINK she needs. And remember that if she was antisocial before...she won't change just cause she has cancer....be there for her and love her no matter what. Good luck
2006-08-10 15:26:57 · answer #5 · answered by sweets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must remember that each person deals with crisis in their own way. What would work for you may not be what she needs. I suggest that instead of pressing her to go to a support group you investigate her feelings and needs. Ask her "what can I do to help?" If she says "nothing", then accept that but let her know that you'll be there to help when she's ready. Doing small things like running errands can be very helpful and not invasive. If you simply call her when you are on your way to the store and ask if she needs anything while you're there, it shows her that you care without being pushy about it. She'll eventually need you, but allow her to have her independence while she feels like it.
2006-08-10 16:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by heartforhelping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋