help i have a 5 year old?

Question

my 5 year old son plays out side my house with other kids they have started hitting my son there mothers have told them to go out and hit back if my child does it to them which i understand thats right but there taking the piss a bit with me now my child was playing nice and they just come and hit him but i cant say anythink as there child dont do anythink wrong i just dont no what to do for the best could any body help my son is a good kid he can do wrong some times what child dont please help iam i being a bad mother stopping him playing with them ???????

i do sit out with him but you cant tell other peoples kids off

Answer 1

The kids shouldn't be hitting each other no matter what. You need to talk with the parents of the kids your son is playing with and have an agreement that the kids need to use words instead of hitting. If someone hits, everybody has to go home--no more playing. And try it again the next day.

Give them some words to use with each other to solve their problems. Like "I'm not done yet" "let's take turns" and so on. Help the kids set up some rules for play.

Answer 2

For a start if you are sitting outside with him and you see another child hit him then yes I would have a word with those kids! But if he's started it then you need to get them all together and make them understand right from wrong. I don't agree with you when you say it's right for the mothers to tell their kids to hit back. I've taught my children if someone hits you first don't hit back but tell an adult straight away because otherwise it causes all sorts of problems. I have experience of this because I've worked in a school. And no it doesn't turn them into wimps. Anyway if it happens frequently I wouldn't let him play with those children because he will learn that violence is acceptable when it's not and it's the wrong environment for him to be playing in. No your not a bad mother keeping him in, you're doing the right thing and giving him the discipline he needs. I have two boys and they are excellent kids because of the way I have raised them. You need to keep children in check or they go off the rails and it's usually too late by the time they've become teenagers.

Answer 3

you said you CANT tell other peoples kids off!!!!

yes you can if they are hurting your son! ask them why they hit him then tell them if they do it again then you will let their mother know, or you could ask the other parents to join you outside when your kids are out there, have a drink together make some chit-chat and see if their child behaves the same then , if they see thier child behave like it then they should punish them in the right way , dont put up with this behaviour!!
oh and by the way when you said that the other mothers said you hit back if they hit you first and you agree with that , that is totally the wron gmessage to give children too , they shouldent ever hit anybody else wether they were hit first or not,

Answer 4

Actually you can, if the neighbor kids are playing in your property you have every right to tell their parents that this is how their children will behave over at your place and if they don't like it then they are not to come over again...but the same has to go for your child if he is over at a neighbor's house. I would say take him out of the group of friends all together but that would isolate the child and that isn't something you want to do. I only suggestion, and your not going to like it, beyond what you can do...tell your son not to start the fight but finish them. A child will only take so much and when it comes to bullies the best thing to do is to stand up to them. Make sure that starting trouble is NOT ok, but defending himself is. I hope this helps. I send you the best of wishes and all the good karma I can.

Answer 5

Oh yes you can tell those other kids to back off. And if they go inside to tell their mommy and daddy well then so be it. If they do you go ahead and tell their parents that aren't playing nicely. You have the right to tell anyone's kid to back off especially if they are hurting your child. Now thats just plain ridiculious for those other children to be hurting yours. I tell my next door neighbor kids all the time if they won't play nicely with my daughter then they can go home. Its just that simple. Hey if the kids parents do have a problem with you telling their children to stop hitting on your child well then thats just to bad, those parents should be outside watching their kids too. Hey and if it continues then you just take your child away from that situation and go to a park instead.
I get that part that if someone hits you, you should hit back but if they are doing despite the fact that your kid hasn't done anything to them then thats a reason to step in and tell those kids and parents whats happening. I'm all for the hit back if someone hits you but there is always a line that had to be drawn.

Answer 6

You cannot tell other people's kids off? Since when???They are in YOUR yard, hitting YOUR child! I don't know that I would "tell them off" but I would insist that no one hits in my yard and if they can't listen after no more than 1 reminder then they aren't welcome back for the rest of the day. You do not have to yell or get mad just say that there is no hitting each other allowed and stick to it. Tell them they are welcome to come back and play when they they are going to play without hurting anyone. Your kid needs to feel safe and the other kids need to learn limits to their behaviour. The same thing applies when your child hits (since it's doubtful he's an angel either ;) ). 1 reminder about not hitting, then remove him from the play and explain exactly why he can't play and tell him he will have another chance to play nicely tomorrow.

Answer 7

So you're sitting out, watching the kids play and someone hits your kid for no reason and you don't say " That's not how we play" or "Nobody should be hitting" or anything. This is why kids think they own our streets!! A general comment to the group is not picking on anyone and other parents shouldn't have a problem with that. If they do, get his own pals round and forget playing in the street.
He should never be out on his own because children usually lie to get out of trouble and you have to see what happens to be able to defend him.
He is also to young to defend himself against any adults that may be looking for an easy target.

Answer 8

You should talk to the other kids´ parents, I mean come on, like you said, they can´t just go over and hit him for NO reason...I would never be able to take that, I have a 7 year old and a 5 year old, and I would do anything to not get them hurt or put such strange standards in their heads...just let the other parents know, and they´ll have to talk to their kids and make sure nothing silly like that happens...

Answer 9

if you don't feel confident enough to tell off the kids he's playing with then you need to insist their parents are there to see exactly what happens. kids that age probably won't remember if they are told off by their parents later. or if they see your child as the problem let them know that you have disciplined your son, and that they should do the same with theirs. hitting back isn't the answer as kids that age don't understand when to stop.

Answer 10

Keep an eye on which kid is doing the hitting and then nicely take him to his house and have a loud confrontation with him and his parents! NO person, not even a child has the right to hit your kid - unless they are protecting themselves. If this is not the case -- stop them now.