They were friends a little bit before he and I got together and after we were unofficially together (a thing but not boyfriend girlfriend) she tried to get with him but he turned her down because of me. Today they are still good friends. He knows it has bothered me in the past. This same girl has also been the girl that my cousin's boyfriend cheated on her with, hence she gets around and is known as a "boyfriend steeler" (so middle school i know). I am not worried about him making a move but her making a move like shes done in the past, even tho he wouldn't make one back. I would talk to him about it again but I don't want him to think I'm jealous or don't trust him. What should I do?
2006-08-10 07:49:09 · 31 answers · asked by bim1960 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dump your boyfriend. seriously. he doesn't sound like a good guy.
2006-08-10 07:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello bim1960,
I'm sorry that this frightens you, but guys do tend to still stay friends with girls, even X-girlfriends, better than girls do. There's always exceptions, and if she's trying to steal him away from you hard enough, it might happen. There are girls that get a strange superiority out of stealing boyfriends.
It takes two people to make a relationship work though. Keep the communications going with your boyfriend. Always let him know how you feel, and you won't go wrong.
You have a very biased opinion of this girl because of your cousin's experience with her. I'm sure that your cousin poisoned your attitude towards her. Who knows what sort of relationship your cousin really had with her X-boyfriend. It may not have been this girl's fault at all.
Since she's your boyfriend's friend, maybe you two have a lot more in common with each other than you realize. This is a girl to try to get to know better and maybe even be friends with yourself. If she's got this bad reputation, she might be low on girlfriends and maybe she really needs more people like you to see her side of the story.
Since she and your boyfriend are friends. Isn't there another guy that you can hook her up with? Double-dating is fun and it gives you a way of seeing that she's busy with another guy rather than your boyfriend.
Giving your boyfriend an ultimatum is a bad idea, bim1960. Don't let him choose between friends. That's not fair to him and you may wind up the looser on this. Try to get to know her better. I hope that this helps. Best of luck to you both.
--Rick
2006-08-10 08:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the boyfriend have to do with it? (I'm talking to the first answerer) its the other girl that's being the problem.
just tell your boyfriend how you feel a bout it, communication is very important in any relationship. make sure he knows exactly how you feel about it, and see what information you can get, what plans and rules you can establish, and maybe even if you can get him to stop associating with her entirely, though if he doesn't agree to that, don't hold it against him, she is his friend after all. but no harm in trying.
Tell her as well. make sure she knows her boundaries and what is yours, and not hers for the touching.
and of course, keep a close watch at all times. don't be to lenient, we are talking about a guy here after all. hes got to have a lot of self control. otherwise he might easily fall into anything she dishes out. so make sure to watch them, and keep track of what they are doing, of course, don't be TOO stalking/investigative, because you'll just annoy your boyfriend. just use your common judgment with it.
good luck.
2006-08-10 07:57:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The entire point of being in a commit ed relationship is too share intimacy. If you don't think you can share your thoughts with him on this what else will you hold back?
You should talk to him about your concerns. Avoid accusations, and keep it centered on how it makes you feel. Stress that you have little concern about his fidelity but are worried about the appearance and her intentions.
2006-08-10 07:55:54 · answer #4 · answered by kayzee_72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all its seems the the problem is not with your man but with girl. I say conffron her. Let the facts be known and let her know where you stand. You still need to let your man know how you feel about the girl so he can atleast be aware of the situation. Sit him down and talk it over don't make a big deal about it.
2006-08-10 07:56:10 · answer #5 · answered by tweetstuff27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no. yes because she will steal your boyfriend and chances are hell never come back to you.
no because your boyfriend loves u alot.i think u should do this.at school, go up to the girl and b**** slap her in the face and say " why are you trying to steal my girlfriend?" come prepared dough. cause if she wanna fight after dat, use a weapon to beat her up.come prepared by bringin a weapon and some duck tape with siccors. first, act like u wanna be her friend. take her in a queit place where no one is in.then take the duck tape and tape her hands first.then mouth.and beat her. OR jus tbreak up with ur boyfriend.
2006-08-10 07:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she had ever wanted him, she probably still does. If it was friendship only start to finish, then it wouldn't be an issue. I think you should just tell him that if he cares about you enough, then he won't hang out with that hoe. By the way, why don't you just tell her off? I wish my ex was like you, she was crazy and would threaten a girl just for talking to me. It was embarassing.
2006-08-10 07:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont need a boyfriend right now, you need to be concerned with yourself and reaching your goals and ambitions, the only thing this guy is going to do is add stress to your life and your at that age where you dont need any, dump the the guy and move on with your life.
2006-08-10 07:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the real question here is, how much do you trust him?
I say talk to him. Don't be confrontational. Tell him that you feel insecure about it. Not that you want them to stop being friends, just that you want to feel reassured.
If he's a good guy he'll understand.
2006-08-10 07:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a great relationship is builded on trust. You need to trust your boyfreind and know that he's not going to cheat on you. If you don't have that than the realtionship is not good enough to fight for. you can live your whole life worrying of what might happen.
2006-08-10 07:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's simple...Do you trust him? Regardless of what she is known for you should trust what your boyfriend tells you. In any case you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he cares about you and your feelings he should understand where you're coming from.
2006-08-10 07:55:27 · answer #11 · answered by Cindy, MA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋