Why is "old school parenting" not used anymore?

Question

Now days it seems like the "old school" way of raising kids is looked down upon as abuse or mistreatment. By "old school" I mean the way my parents and grandparents were raised. They did not back talk their parents,cause if they did, they got their butts set on fire(my dads words) Kids had to help out around the house. I dont mean do a couple of chores a week. They got outside in the heat or cold and helped weed the garden, pick cotton (Yeah, my mom and dad both remember doing that), hand wash laundry. Nowdays, people let their kids sit around watching TV and paying videogames. And heaven forbid we spank our kids anymore! There are alot of parents using what I call "psycho babble". This is when little Tommy nails his sister in the head with a toy and his mom sits him down and says "Now Tommy, thats not very nice. Are you angry about something? Lets talk about your anger.", instead of busting his rear. Why is "old school" so taboo now days? It worked on our parents didnt it?

Call me close minded if you want, but I grew up to be a very responsible adult. Never been arrested, dont even have a speeding ticket, went college, have a good paying job, never bounced a check, never had my utilities cut off, have a great credit score, etc, etc. etc. Obviously it worked. Worked on my parents also, because they are both highly sucessful and intellegent people.

I never said a thing about "beating" kids. Spanking is not beating. Causing permanant marks, bruises, and scars, now that is beating. Using a paddle, hand, or belt and spanking a child is not beating. Now if you do it so hard that you leave welps or bruises, that is a completely different story. The corporal punishment was not even the complete basis of my question. Just part of it. How about the chores and house and yard work? Is that being abusive? If I make my kids clean the kitchen, do laundry, water the animals, clean up the yard, etc., is this wrong?

Can the next person to answer please show me where I ever said that I beat my kids or that it ok to beat your kids, cause I dont ever remember saying that?

Answer 1

Oh my goodness, I totally agree with you! Its like you are reading my mind. My husband and I were brought up the same way and we are bringing our son up the same as well. I think the kids that are raised "old school" are much better behaved and develop better.

Answer 2

I've seen both sides of the coin. And most "time out" brats never grow up, and are always in trouble. They never had serious consequences to their actions, so they know they can do anything and get away with it. Our public school system is teaching the same thing.

I;ve seen kids that are beaten for every move they make, and they rebel even more as adults.

There needs to be a good balance. I personally believe in spanking a child. Though my boys only got spankings when they did something that was dangerous to themselves or someone else, (like hitting someone with a stick, or throwing a rock at someone...etc) or for being disrespectful to adults. It didn't take to many for them to understand it was unacceptable behavior. As far as fighting with each other, each time any of them fought, I took something valuable away from both of the 2 fighting...no matter who started it. That precious toy then got taken to the salvation army drop box. That happened a total of 4 times. They learned that quick too.

I guess the answer to your question is, some people think they are their kids "best friends" when in fact they are their parents. Friends are people you get into trouble with...LOL Parents are people who teach you how to be productive members of society, and if it takes a good A$S kicking, then so be it!

Answer 3

Childbirth will sometimes hinder orgasm for a while. Fortunately, your condition might not be permanent. If a that little edge of excitement is really what you need, then discuss this with your fiance, or just come on to him in a place that might be exciting for you. Arrange a sleep-over at your parents house and tell him to be as quiet as possible. Try to have sex without making a single sound, not even heavy breathing. The fact that you have had an orgasm before makes you statistically very likely to have them again. Some women never have them, so count yourself very fortunate that you are able to experience this pleasure.

Answer 4

Since unfortunately, we live in such a liberal society, the government tells us what we can't do and how to raise our children. The government is against religion, which influences our children to be against it too. Teen drug use, abortions, and the teen pregnancy rate has gone sky high since we were growing up. I believe in good, conservative morals and discipline. But, I don't believe in any harsh punishments such as whipping, paddling, or hard spanking either. Of course, now and then a light tap on the buns will do some good, but that's it. Most children are what their parents are. It's liberal parents, who teach their children to "express themselves," that create chaos. If children are just taught right from wrong, use God to help guide them through, and learn abstinence, I'm sure all of our problems would disappear. It's all up to the parents. So, if you did a good job from the start and taught them respect, kindness, the value of hard work, etc., you have nothing to worry about and did a great job as an American parent.

Answer 5

I'm 33 and I can remember being spanked with wooden spoons! I grew up on a ranch and we were up at the crack of dawn doing chores. School was a priority and we'd better have at least a B average; anything less was unacceptable. I didn't have time to get involved in drugs. Granted, in high school, I went to my fair share of parties and came home walking on my lips more than once! My parents' attitude..."You play, you pay!". I still was up the next morning doing my chores!

Now that I'm a parent, I thank my parents for instilling morals and work ethic in me. I also thank them for spanking me when I was out of line. I grew up pretty well and I don't have a nervous twitch or feel the need to see a psychologist every week!

My philosophy on child rearing... God made hands and God made butts; they go well together! I'd rather teach my children right from wrong than have someone else teach them the hard way... or have to bail them out of jail... or worse; identify them in the morgue!

Answer 6

I don't spank my kids, but i don't reward them if they don't do something I've asked them to do. They get an allowance. If they don't pick up their towel after their shower, then it costs a $1. I think people don't live next to their relatives anymore and so the support is not there. I think that people let their kids run their households and are proud when they stand up to their teachers and others as if they are being assertive. I agree that some kids have gotten out of control, because the same people raising them didn't have parents that were good role models. I think you can't look backwards, except for lessons. I think that video games and TV are here to stay, and so that you must have a healthy balance. There are rules to be followed at our house. We pick our battles. We just live by the philosophy that you say what you mean and you mean what you say, consistency and following through..., and letting kids make mistakes.

Answer 7

People don't use "old school parenting" anymore because they realize now that their is a better way of raising kids. If it worked so well, and was so wonderfull then the parents that were raised that way would still be doing it, correct? Spanking is the lazy, irresponsible way of raising your kids. It's so much quicker and easier to just bust their butts than to sit down and explain to them why what they are doing is wrong. And no matter which method you choose, CONSISTANCY is the key to bringing up good kids. You cannot get on to them for something one time, and then let them get away with it the next.
I'm not saying not to discipline them, because they absolutely need discipline. I'm just saying that it doesn't have to be physical. I don't believe anyone has the right to hit another human being. I don't get hit every time I make a mistake, so why should children? Why is it illegal in this country to lay a hand on another adult but it's perfectly acceptable to hit a child?
I have never been spanked, neither have my sisters. And all of us turned out just fine. We were raised on love, respect, and patience...NOT FEAR. I have a masters degree in psychology, one sister is an RN, the other is a physical therapist in a nursing home. I have two teen daughters, both are straight A students in the accelerated program in hishschool. Both play sports, and both do volunteer work. I have one niece who's an LVN, one is in college now, one nephew is a social worker, and the other owns his own business and bought his first house by the age of 20. So you cannot say that alternative discipline does not work. Our family has never hit, and we are a close knit loving family.

Answer 8

There are times that a very effective method is having your butt "set on fire" ... perhaps even more so for some teen guys. An hour later, you shouldn't have any problem sitting ... but your 'sit spots' should still remind you of what has happened. And what you don't want repeated.

Answer 9

I believe that parents are getting weaker by the years. Old school parenting is needed these days. You wont have so much teen prego or our young men in jail and walking around with their pants down under there underwear. Also they will have respect for grown folks. We allow our kids to do what evet and say what ever they want....free is earn not given. Stay in a child place is number one key in life. Make them earn what they want....bring old school back..hell it kept on straight paths

Answer 10

Old school discipline is not so forgotten. It has just been a lot less agressive. My granparents used to switch me and my ex step dad would make me pull my pants down and beat me with his belt buckle. Now which one is old school? The thing is, discipline is a good thing, very good, spanking is not bad as long as it is not with all of your strength, but when they hit a certain age, it should stop and than they should be grounded. No TV, phone, music, things like that, but not just a week but a month. Discipline is nessesary and so is chores but only in moderation and when needed. Also only at certain ages. You may disagree but that is my opinion.