What to do if someone is hitting on my significant other?

Question

I'm a young man who is currently dating a smart, funny, yet EXTREMELY attractive young woman. Everywhere we go, other men are constantly hitting on her (the waiter at the restaurant, you name it). Sure, it bothers me, but I'm not too worried since I know she doesn't fall easily for that sort of thing; however there have been times where some men have been almost too pushy and aggressive (i.e. going up and talking to her/asking for her number while I'm in the restroom). That is usually where I draw the line. Although I'm normally very laid back about this sort of thing, what is the safest and/or most effective way to handle this type of situation?

Answer 1

it probably makes her feel more powerful and validated to have so much attention.
It probably validates you to be in the company of someone who gets lots of attention.
It IS extremely disrespectful to BOTH of you for other guys to try to get somewhere with her......
Chances are that she realizes this and won't fall for it.....
Make sure you appreciate ALL of her redeeming qualities, and that YOU are the best at making her feel like #!.....
Be proud that she shows you who she really is, when these guys only like her for her looks.....
Tell her you wish she would make a bigger display of making YOU feel like #!......
Tell her you wished she would learn to say "Thank you, I'm flattered, but I am currently satisfied...." and if they won't take no for an answer, or become aggressive.....
Tell her to say "Which part of NO don't you understand? What was wrong with my first answer?"
Don't ever punish her for the attention or for liking it. Don't punish her for your feelings or insecurities.....
Just be the one who does it best, who cares about what's on her mind, who accepts her inconditionally....
When they're trying to get somewhere while you're in the restroom, and you reappear, thank them for "keeping her company while you were away and shielding her from those drooling nerds who just want to get in her pants..." (This will call them out on their disrespect, reasseert your place as her date, and not lose your cool....)

Answer 2

there's really not much u can do.. if they are harrassing and bothering her and she is unhappy, i guess u might have to resort to fighting of some sort. but other than that, perhaps u can get her a promise ring to "show" that she is definitely w/ someone. also, make sure u continue to validate and make her feel loved, and that u trust her to do what is right. make her feel that she is awesome, cuz she is! and tell her u trust her with whatever happens, and if she ever needs anything, u will be there to protect her. if she is alone and is pretty, she will always be around guys who are pushy or try to "get" her.. it's up to her And you to continue to reinforce ur relationship, so that when ur not Physically there, she still loves and wants only you. that way, her confidence in the relationship will help her deflect anything that tries to get in ur way.

don't let it bother u.. .maybe u can just gather up the numbers and laugh about it... if u let it get to your head, there is something missing from the relationship.. u are not satisfied in some way.... u and she cannot control other people, only urselves and how u act, react to situations. :) be happy that u have an awesome girlfriend, and treat her like she is. hopefully she does same for you, and nothing, not even bigger and serious problems, will be able to bring u down.

Answer 3

Nonchalantly kiss the girl shortly following one of the situations. Make sure the girl doesn't know what's up, but make sure that the other guy sees it. When you know he's looking, run your middle finger through your hair, in the direction of the guy and have make eye contact following. Believe me, this will piss him off. He may come over and try to start something, but she'll just think he's delusional and psycho. This will alleviate some of your restlessness.

I did this at a club called Boogie Fever with my wife a couple years ago. Worked like a charm cause my wife is good looking and I'm a fugly mug.

Answer 4

Just confront them. You don't have to raise your voice or use harsh language, but make your point known. It's extremely rude and disrespectful for these guys to do this when she is so obviously with you. What if they came up to you and insulted you? How would you handle that? Because it's almost the same thing.

It would also help if your girlfriend was very adamant in her discouragement too. Sometimes you have to be mean to put the pushy guys off. (Minor flirting is almost instinctive in guys when they see an attractive woman. Anything further than that is inexcusable.) Is she trying to be nice about putting them off? Because sometimes that could be seen as encouragement. Not her fault but there it is.

Answer 5

She needs to step up to the plate. This happens to me all the time. I make it real clear that I do not appreciate someone approaching me when it is clear I am out with someone else. The flirting from waiters, owners of the restaurants, doormen, etc can not be avoided. I just do not respond with anything other than a smile. Men enjoy flirting so there is no harm done. She should make it very clear upon your return that she is wit you by her gestures, mannerisms, speech and eye contact. Discuss this with her.

Answer 6

Politely tell them she's taken ... simple as that ... no need to be rude .. no need to fight any guys .. no need to make a scene in public ... just be mature and let them know she's not taking any offers.

If they persist ... stand up and leave ... don't let it bother you too much .. or your girl will see this as jealousy and most women don't like that trait in a man .. it's down right scary ... !

Be happy you found yourself a hottie ... be proud of her ... show her off .. don't belittle her because more and more men approach her .. she's not doing anything wrong .. never make this about her unless she's doing all the flirting .. then you can call her out .. !

Answer 7

Chill out. My boyfriend does this too. I am the receptionist at a big corporation. All the guys feel a need to ask me out or on a date or whatever. I tell my boyfriend in a "ha can you believe that" sort of way, and he gets angry. He has a hard time understanding why they feel like they have a chance. He should know that I am with him for a reason. being over protective is not cute.

Answer 8

Try not to get too upset about it. Us guys are supposed to hit on women we are attracted to. This is what allows us to propagate our species. But for the ones who get too pushy, I would be polite if possible and just jump into their conversaion while complimenting her about something she is wearing. If someone gets way out of hand and puts there hand on her or something like that, take it up a notch. Which means you may just have to be a real man and put your hands on them by way of a fist.

Answer 9

Well if she really carres about you she would not go out with someone else. And you should show her your love and be happy that you are with someone that is attractive but be careful with the other guys that are really down for asking for other things than just a number. Well good luck

Answer 10

Act all cofident and act like you don't care. Girls hate jelousy, if it dont bother you it wont bother her. If you make a big deal out of it you'll be doing it for the rest of the relationship because people hitting on your girl aint gonna stop. Think of it as a compliment and you got the girl those dudes are hittin on, you should be proud!!!