my mom hates or dislikes his family or the way they are strickted and mean looking even knowing he is totaly diffrent from them she still dont like him. And now with the wedding choosing reception it has been a big thing his parents want a place more than an hour away from were i live in a town calle Weaterford, Ok and my mom wants a place 30min from my local town Anadarko, Ok. All this has me between the wall i dont know what to do. My fiance dont want to argue with his fam and he said over here in Weatherford and thats it! onestly i want it over here because its bigger and because i onestly dont want my fam and friends end up standing up in my reception. He said its his weadding too and my church is going to be in my town but because to do it in other church is more paper work thats the reason why they choose it because its the church i have gone in 9 years. and its less dificulty for them. What should I do?
2006-08-10 07:09:43 · 18 answers · asked by cynthia d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
nutin its normal lol
2006-08-10 07:12:24 · answer #1 · answered by ClickSubscribe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but your parents are right. You should be having the wedding in your parents home town where you grew up. NOT where he grew up. Look in some etiquette books there are things about this. Plus this should not involve your family or his only the two of you. It is your wedding not your families so you both decide. If your hubby to be will not take your side then you need to rethink this whole thing. Imagine being married and he is not taking your side but his mommy's? That is a nightmare waiting to happen. Being married means that you become a team and when you are engaged it is practice for the team. Join together and write the pro's and con's of each site. Don't include anyones family when you make these decisions. Otherwise they are going to run the intire wedding. That will happen if you do.
One more thing. His ENTIRE family is from Wisconsin and our wedding was in Michigan in my home town. Nobody complained because I booked the hall myself and told them that was that and didn't give them any room for questions.
2006-08-10 08:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you have a mess on your hands but you must remember that this is about you and your husband to be. You're opinions matter not your families but I realize that your families are about to become one. Try to compromise have the reception in one place and the wedding where you want it to be. I know that its hard when your families don't get along but it isn't about them anyway. This is your big day and it should be the way that you have always dreamed of not your families. Always talk to your husband because you don't want miscommunication and you don't want to end the wedding over something silly and petty as to where the reception should be held. You and your husband should get both families together and let them know that this is your day and if they can't respect that then you really don't have to attend. I know that its hard that's why I will be praying all works out for you and you husband to be. Congradulations
2006-08-10 07:19:42 · answer #3 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Talk to your mom. Instead of leaving it in the dark, actually ask her why she "hates" your fiance.
2) If your MIL or mom are willing to pay for the location, let them have a say.
Don't argue with his family over yours. It's YOUR wedding as a couple. I dont think there's any more paper work if it's in a random church than if it's in your home church.
What should you talk?
Talk it over with both your mom and MIL. You really want to get married in your church. Is it possible to compromise and get married by YOUR pastor in a neutral location?
Be honest with your fiance, and don't turn into a bridezilla. I understand that you want it your way, but sometimes it's just not possible. If you're not paying for it, then you don't have as much say then if you did pay for it.
2006-08-10 07:37:30 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just went through some of the same problems with my daughters wedding...(she ended up cancelling her wedding 1 month before it was to take place, and this all happened 1 month ago! )
ok, Im the mom in this situation so this is my point of view, you cant change your moms opinion, but only time will tell, and she will grow to love your new hubby "IF" he is a good person. all us moms want for our daughters is to be happy and to be treated good-if he does that, your mom will learn to love, or at least like him. I didnt always like my daughters decisions, but i loved her and i was the one that raised her, so i felt if she seen something good in the man she chose to marry, he must be a decent man regardless of how I felt, and that also applied to her boyfriends she had too.
As far as the wedding goes, if the two of you are mature enough to get married, you must be mature enough to compromise the details of your wedding event. My daughter and her fiance couldnt agree on music, of all things, so they decided to have a bit of both of what they liked. you must reach an agreement that you and your fiance are happy with. its you and your fiances wedding, not your mom and his mom, so take their advice, then do what you want anyway- its your day, they already had theirs.
remember why you are getting married in the first place - its to celebrate, and unite your live & love together, not put on a lavish show for everyone else. so many young women get caught up in the whole event and forget the real reason your doing all of this in the first place.
it didnt work out for my daughter, she realized after all the planning...etc....that she simply didnt love him enough to spend the rest of her life with him, and she had quite a big wedding planned! we had to uninvite 300+ people, was a mess!
2006-08-10 07:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BOY I feel your pain...I went through similar stuff..my mom didn't care for my fiance and it was evident. she was rude and unkind to him when he would come around. she refused to have any of the wedding in his hometown...it had to be my hometown like a competition for her. All I can say is tell your mother the gnood things about him, make it clear how much you love this man. also inform her that it's a) YOUR DAY not hers, and she needs to be supportive B) tell her you do NOT want to choose between her and your love, and that you won't be apart of that...it's either both of them or neither..and mauybe she'll realize she's being unreasonable. as for the reception have it where you want it!!!!!!!!! It's your day.
Good luck and don't let them bring you down.
2006-08-10 07:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings shouldn't be this much trouble. Don't have the wedding in either one of your home town's. Have it somewhere in the middle. This decision is for you and your finance to make, not your parents. Even if they are helping to pay for it or something. Don't get married, and regret everything that happend at your wedding. That's just a shame. Honestly, you should just save all the money, time, and trouble...............elope, and go on one hell of a honeymoon!!!!!
2006-08-10 07:15:15 · answer #7 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
uncertain in regards to the significant factors of the tough spot you stated yet overlook it, after that and the facebook remark, he's not at all going to make it back as a solid guy in her eyes. The combat you had confirmed disrespect for you and he or she loves you and needs a guy to grasp you. The facebook ingredient confirmed disrespect for her and now, overlook it. proceed with warning. He does not sound like a guy you opt to marry. sometime you will look back and be conscious of which you exceeded over the indications. i be conscious of because of the fact i replaced into on your subject too.
2016-09-29 03:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by bugenhagen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to move out, IT;S YALL'L WEDDING IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE PARENTS WANT. I hated when my mom tried to control my wedding. I put her in her place real quick....I told her "You have controled every aspect of my life until now. It is OUR wedding and we will do and have it anyway/anywere we want.!" I felt so much better after telling her that ,and she understood and agreed. It was a beautiful wedding.
2006-08-10 07:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by cathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My God, that's really hard. You can pray and ask for wisdom. There are lots of good advices but not one may suit your problem. But God knows best. He'll show you for sure the best that suits you. I may not know you, but God does. I've been through that also before, only God had help me patched-up my life, not a friend, not a brother, nor a Pastor, but God! God bless you my sister!
2006-08-10 07:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by Shirbol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding do what you want to do....and for your mom tell her to get over it....he is part of the family now so like it or not...I'm our family ....everyone gets along with everyone (even if they don't really like eachother) ...good Luck...
2006-08-10 07:14:45 · answer #11 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋