I have a serious question and i need some guys and girls opinions!! My boyfriend and i have been together for?

Question

3 years and we have lived together for 2 years. Lately all he does is stay on the computer. so i did a little investigating. cracked some passwords and checked out what he has been doing. Well other than playing spades he as been emailing back and forth on myspace and bangme to several different girls some that even live in our town. and i guess what bothers me the most is that i am in the other room just watching tv or cleaning and i cant even get his attention. i mean he can talk to me, trust me i would like to talk to him. sometimes when i get home from work he might say a few words but is just so busy in tournaments online. whats going on? should i tell him that i know he is talking to other girls or just let it go until i finnally get some proof that he is meeting up with these girls? help!!

Answer 1

Whether or not he is doing anything neccessarily wrong with these girls is a moot point. He is your boyfriend, and he should make time for you. The internet should not take precendence over your relationship, and deep down, I'm sure he knows that. He may need to play a tournament every now and then to unwind...but he should not be neglecting you. That is the real problem, and you should talk to him about it. The internet is easy to get addicted to. It doesn't sound like he's cheating on you at this point, so don't worry about that, just make sure he knows that you deserve attention.

Answer 2

Ur boyfriend could be finding the relationship kind of boring right now. U been together for quite a while.Try and spice things up.Do the stuff u did when u first met, try out new stuff. Do little things like, cook him a nice dinner at home, candlelight, u know the works, write him little love notes, leave them in places where he'll find them etc.
U may also talk to him about how u feel, but telling him you cracked his passwords might make him feel u snoop and dont trust him. But dont ignore whats happening, it wont just go away.

Answer 3

I think the problem is more then him talking to girls over the Internet ... it sounds to me as though the relationship is rocky ... you need to put some spark back into it ... try walking around naked when he's on the computer ... or get a myspace account too and share computer time with him ... if he doesn't want to change or show you a little more attention then I wouldn't waste your time anymore ... he sounds a little self-absorbed if you ask me .. !

Answer 4

You need to talk to him about it. Don't start by accusing him of anything, just let him know you're concerned about how you two seem to be drifting apart. If you start the conversation out with a huge amount of drama, he's just going to clam up completely. But if he sees that you're willing and able to discuss things calmly and reasonably, there's a better chance he'll be willing to tell you why he's looking for attention and ego stroking from other people. It may just be harmless showing off, fluffing up his feathers online where there's little danger of anything happening. Or, he may be feeling neglected exactly because you're off in the other room watching TV.
Sometimes it can take something as simple as finding a new shared activity you can both participate in to bring you back togther. My partner and I both hang out on Answers now on some evenings, comparing our thoughts about some of the questions we're answering; sometimes we write them up separately first, and then see what the other wrote after we hit submit; other times, we talk about what we're thinking of saying to a question before we finish typing it up, to help clarify the point we're trying to make.
And in some cases, as we talk about the questions and answers we see here, it raises questions about our own relationship we can discuss more easily because the question came from the outside, rather than one of us having to voice it first. It's easier to talk about things like "do people in serious relationships still look at other people, and sometimes imagine what it would be like to be with them" when you're answering some random faceless person on the internet; but in answering the question, it lets you think about what it means to you, and to your partner, and lets you talk about how you responded without it coming out as being directly a concern of your own relationship.
Good luck with it--there's no one perfect answer, but hopefully you'll get some ideas from all the answers you get. :)

Answer 5

you're in a tough situation b/c you shouldn't be cracking your bf's passwords. i will say this though, myspace is a great way for a guy to talk to women with much less risk of getting caught. you need to work **** out with your man and resolve whatever issues are causing this behavior in the first place.

Answer 6

go forward with him n tell him that if what he doin is true, n if he bangin other girls leave him for real girl cause sumone like u gotta get talked to aight, not even my little bro would be on the computer instead of bein wit u, well ask him what he does on the internet, u'll know if hes lien, but after he lies tell him what hes really doin..lol..that waould be funny then if it dont wrok out leave him + forget about the proof

Answer 7

Oh girl i know your pain i went through the same thing. i told my boyfriend i knew he was emailing other girls, and he got mad but i mean i wasn't just going to sit around while he did that. So he deleted his myspace profile, when he told me i didn't believe him but then i saw some one on yahoo answers ask if it was possible to delete the myspace profile and someone answered yes. then went i went back to check my boyfriends profile they said there was no record of him. Sometimes i still go back to check, but i realize i have to trust him, so my advice is tell your boyfriend and he will have to accept that you know and he'll have to stop emailing. this is how you will know how much you mean to him. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 8

Does he not have a job? Lack of motivation can lead to some serious issues. And that lack of motivation could come from depression.

Having snuck around behind his back, you've lost the higher ground on this one. Be upfront and tell him that you did it and why. Being accusatory won't help, so stick to what his behavior brings out of the relationship.

Answer 9

I think u should wait untill u get proof that he is meeting up with these girls just incase he may try and say he doesnt know what ur talking about so wait untill u catch him on the spot with these girls.

Answer 10

Sounds like he needs break from the computer. Turn it off, take the power cords and hide them. Then sit him down, tell him what you found, with printouts and say that he is taking a forced break. Give him back the cords when you feel you can trust him.