What's wrong with parents today???

Question

Why do parents feel the need to be their sons/daughters buddy instead of disciplining them (in a loving way of course). These parents usually end up with a whiny, spoiled, miserable child. Do they not realize that young children not only need discipline, they want it. It provides routine and structure, it's very comforting to them. What do you think?

loveblue -
I'm not labelling all parents, only the one's that fall into this catagory; and if you think "discipline" is a physical term, then you're an idiot. Read the responses to this post, all from good parents.
Where are your kids at the moment, out lighting fires and breaking into houses?

Answer 1

spare the rod, spoil the child
parents lead by example, does not mean we have to act like kids to demonstrate
discipline is our way of showing our children we love them
we set parameters of acceptability, one falls out of those parameters, punishment occurs, therefore through our love and guidance, children become aware of what we believe, and children know when we accept and don't accept their behaviour, that consequences occur as a result of thier actions.
All this does is reaffirm our committment to them as parents, therefore, Love is the conclusion of our consistent actions. Why else would we invest so much time and effort. Love is Action

Answer 2

I am in total agreement. I am as I am today because of my mother's loving discipline. She made it clear that she was in charge and that has made me a good mother to my daughter now. I am always shocked when I am in the store and I witness parents PLEADING with their child to not misbehave. They are literally afraid of their own children! Or the parents that think it is okay to ignore their children's screaming and fits. Man, my mom would have smacked my butt for acting like that and I would never have done that again! And usually, it didn't even take a whap, it was just a stern look that warned me to cut it out. It is never okay to beat or abuse a child in any manner, but I think a good whap on the hiney never hurt anything. It is not intended to be painful, just to straighten the kid up. It was more embarrassing than anything. I have always taught my daughter to be respectful of her parents, and respect others. What is wrong with that? Apparently a lot, since people nowadays seem to think that "time-out" cures everything..or just ignoring their rude brats that turn into holy terrors. I could go on all day about this..


PS..I am a little dismayed to see so many people on here saying it is because you are a teen mother. I had my daughter at 17 and she is so well-behaved (aged 11 now) that she gets complimented on it. I do agree, a big problem is teen pregnancy and many young girls do not know what to do with their kids. But equally I see full adult and kids family sets with the kids just as bratty..so it is 50-50.

Answer 3

I agree. I have a friend with a 3 year old and when this child throws a tantrum, she negotiates with the child instead of firmly making the child do what she is told. She wastes an inordinate amount of time on these "negotiations" and the child thinks that she is the boss, not her Mum. It is not right. Lovingly, but firmly discipline your child. She will not hate you. They want boundaries. They want to know that their parents are in control and that their parents know what they're doing. You are absolutely right!

Answer 4

I agree every time we go out I see so many kids that are totally disrespectful and rude that is only the parents fault.I have three kids my self and my kids are disciplined and have a routine and are very affectionate and loved.I wish more parents would take the initiative to teach there children a common respect.

Answer 5

I so agree with you on this. My husband is a teacher. We are both tired of parents who are so afraid of anything hurting their children's egos that they let them run wild. Part of the problems seems to come when parents get divorced and they want the child to validate them as the 'good' parent. Another problem is the guilt that working parents feel. They want all the time they have with their child to be fun and happy so that their child won't resent the time they are away from them. Personally, I think that parents have to learn to bite the bullet and do more parenting. It really is what's best for the child. The most successful and happiest kids my husband sees are those with parents with strict guidelines that they enforce.

Answer 6

I can't say this for all parents, but some may have had a rough childhood where they weren't close to their mom or dad and having a child of their own, they're vowing never to be that way. That usually means no discipline and giving their child anything they want.
Alas, it is up to a parent to decide how to control their child. It is not up to anyone else, unless it's so bad that a social worker has to intervene. Sure it's bad, but there's nothing anyone else can do about it.

Answer 7

I agree. I think maybe it is the epidemic of young parents (teen parents especially) who are not ready to raise someone and discipline them. I mean, it was only a few years earlier that they themselves were getting spanked/ grounded!!

Also, the world is so P.C. now that spanking is no longer acceptable.

I love my son and want us to be close, but I also want to raise him as a respectful and responsible man. So, I know I have to give him limits and for that he needs rules and punishments. I wish all parents agreed.

Answer 8

I agree. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. Kids are having kids and aren't necessarily ready to be a parent, never mind a good parent. Just read all the idiots on this site who have kids.

Answer 9

I totally agree with you. Kids need structure, they crave it. I discipline my children when they do something that is unacceptable to me, but I also have the kind of relationship with them that they come and tell me when something is wrong. Kids aren't looking for their parents to be their buddy, they are looking for their parents to care for them, love them, keep them safe, and lay down the law when needed.

Answer 10

I agree!! I get so tired of seeing bratty kids run around acting crazy and their parents just sitting there letting them do it. I am all for discipline!! Everyone tells me that I will have the most well behave kids there is because they know that I will not put up with it!!