Are you an ex-Christian?

Question

I was a Christian for a while but I had major problems with a lot of things in the Bible. So I thought that the problems in the Bible don't mean that Jesus was not God - but I don't believe that the Creator is a man (or a woman) and I don't believe that the Great Spirit would come to earth as a man and have twelve men as apostles as that has been used to reinforce prejudice against women and I know that men and women are equal (even the Bible says men AND women were created in the likeness of God).

If you have stopped being a Christian, what made you change?

Answer 1

It was a multi-step process for me.

I was pretty badly brainwashed through high school and my first year of college, but that's what happens when you grow up in an extreme, almost militant Christian environment. You'd think that sort of thing can't happen to someone reasonable intelligent, but that's not the case. When you're told your whole life that something is true, you usually look for reasons to believe it rather than reasons not to believe it.

In any case, I had constant reinforcement from my friends and family and people at church telling me that I had to believe exactly as they did if I wanted to avoid hell, so I dutifully did just that. I didn't stop to think about it often, and when I did think about it, I found myself pelted with arguments that seemed suspicious but which I didn't want to deconstruct for fear of finding out something I didn't like.

Still, something felt wrong to me. I couldn't go on like that forever, could I? Something in the back of my mind kept telling me that I was just playing a game and that I would someday fall out of favor.

The first crack in the armor happened when an outwardly friendly Christian group at my high school turned out not to be so friendly to people who weren't sufficiently like them (i.e. athletic enough). That sucked. Despite being the most knowledgeable person involved in the group, I found myself shoved aside, and I even got cut off from sponsorship in my study group. That stung.

I stopped hanging out with the Christian crowd and instead fell in with the "sinful" intellectual crowd, and for about two years I was happier than I had ever been. That was fantastic. I thrived at everything I did, and I had some of the pressure taken off when I put other activities before my religion.

Did I learn from that when I went off to college, though? No, I didn't.

The first thing that happens when you get to college is you get bombarded by hordes of people begging you to join their club or social group. That's pretty cool, usually, but one of the shadier groups that does some of the heaviest recruiting is a group called Campus Crusade for Christ. I can't stress enough how everyone needs to avoid this group. They are downright evil at their core, even if they don't show that side to outsiders very often.

In any case, I fell in with them, and after a semester of being treated well by people whose life revolved around religion, I found myself caught up in the local "inner circle." I was on the fast track to being like some of the people I admired most.

Now, I occasionally heard stories about people who grew to loathe the group and who left on bad terms, but I tended to ignore those. I didn't want to believe that. I didn't want to believe that my nice, friendly friends could be anything other than wonderful, godly people.

You'll note a distinct lack of critical examination of my beliefs up to that point. That's because critical examination is actively discouraged by fundamentalist Christian groups, and they replace honest inquiry with a bunch of sophistry that only looks clearly idiotic if you no longer believe in it.

In any case, I decided that year that I wanted to go on a missions trip, since converting other people to Christianity was obviously the most important thing in life. I did my application and I was accepted to go to China, so I got ready and blew off my classes in order to raise the money I needed to go.

Now, the particular missions trip I signed up for was highly illegal. It involves pretending that you are going to China on a language study program, when really you're just going over to try to be near a university so you can convert the Chinese students. It's very brilliantly caculated, actually. Campus Crusade is great at that. They know how to target vulnerable people. College students are among the best targets because they're just starting to build their own picture of the world.

I felt very special and very holy, knowing that I was about to skirt legality in order to bring the Gospel to a bunch of poor people who needed it. I felt great. And then the other shoe dropped.

See, the people in charge considered themselves super holy. They figured they, unlike everyone below them (and yes, there is a very distinct hierarchy in most Christian groups), had a direct line to God. They thought they regularly received magical messages from God. In fact, when I once skipped eating a meal, they all decided that the Holy Spirit told them that I had an eating disorder (I just wasn't hungry at the time, and I really did need to lose a little weight--I was about 20 pounds too heavy then--so they figured I was skipping meals to lose weight, even though I was actually eating regular meals and upping my exercise program). This Holy Spirit of theirs wouldn't shut up about how I was suddenly not worthy in their eyes, so after I'd already been at the training compound in California for a few days, almost ready to head off on the trip, they told me I was off the team.

Yes, off the team. After I dedicated a semester of planning and raising money, after I built up my entire summer based on that, and after I'd already wasted my time in California, they just wanted me to go home.

That *really* sucked. But more than that, it was good for me.

I'd seen firsthand that these holy people, these men of God, were full of [insert vulgar synonym for feces]. I'd seen it, I knew they were wrong, and I managed to overcome my cognitive dissonance that normally keeps religious people from acknowledging that sort of thing. I overcame that because I no longer wanted to believe they were right.

Back home, I spent about a week sulking before the leadership called and said they were going to send me off to a camp in Colorado (and they were going to pocket the difference between the cost of tuition there and the money I raised--yeah, real honest group--but they actually didn't tell me that part until later in the summer when I asked for my money back).

By then, I already didn't like them, and I was already drifting out of the brainwashed mindset they require of their followers. The camp, it turned out, was the best thing that could have happened to me next.

I made my way up to Colorado Springs, and I went off to study some theology and some literature (Christian literature). I learned a little bit in the classes, but what really struck me there was one of the professors said.

This professor, by the name of J.P. Moreland, is practically worshipped in some Christian circles, even though he is laughed out of all serious scholarly groups. He makes pretenses at being a philosopher, and he's actually a professor of some sort at a (Christian) university in California. I was eager to hear what he had to say, since everybody seemd to think he was the most brilliant man alive, or close to it.

Except, I found his arguments childish. I became somewhat jaded when I heard him doting on Aristotle all through class, and I didn't find his epistemological proofs convincing in the least. Still, I carried on, learning what I could, until he really, really screwed up.

In class one day, he made a horribly, blatantly racist statement, directed at Asians. I was shocked. I looked around to see if there was anyone else who took offense at what he said, and most of the other people with some Asian parts to their family (I'm part Korean) sat there and smiled. Some even applauded. No one said a thing. I couldn't believe it, even though I, too, couldn't bring myself to challenge the guy.

That was the last day I went to class. I spent the rest of my time at the camp thinking about what I'd learned that summer. I'd learned that Christians aren't necessarily as holy as they claim to be. I'd learned that people who claim to be able to commune with God are liars. I'd learned that Christian intellectuals were frauds, and I'd learned that those highest up in the "moral" Christian camp were stuck up, racist jerks.

That was all I could take. That formerly impenetrable wall of self-defense mechanisms I'd built up to protect my faith shattered as if it had been struck by a thousand kilotons of dynamite. I spent the next several weeks sequestered in my room, desperate searching for something else to believe. Christianity, or at least Christianity as I knew it, was no longer an option. It was both intellectually and morally bankrupt.

Over the following year, I studied Catholicism, since I found it to be more tolerant and generally less mind-numbing. I still hold no grievance against the Catholic Church. I suppose I'm technically still on their roster as a member--I had myself confirmed the following Easter, and I felt a bit more at peace, if not really satisfied with my new religion.

It still didn't sit quite right with me, but I managed to incorporate a philosophy that didn't involve hating people and didn't involve viewing heathens as lesser human beings. I made new friends (my old friends from Campus Crusade ranged from not talking to me to being outright hostile), and I started living a real life.

Now, for a while I became a bit of a tutor and a mentor of sorts to an exchange student from Japan, named Akiko (last name witheld). We got along well, and I helped her with her English homework and gave her free English lessons in afternoons after class. She became probably my best friend, and I liked her a lot.

The Christians on campus didn't like that, though.

See, since she was a foriegn exchange student, and since she was unlucky enough to have one of *them* as a roommate, she was automatically on their target list. Yes, there was an actual list. I saw it when I was at a prayer group (I participated as part of the Catholic delegation). Even though Akiko had told me that she wanted no part of them, I saw her name at the top of their list for potential converts, and I heard how they were planning to try to woo her over to their beliefs by getting her involved in their volunteer work projects. She thought she would be helping the homeless, when really they were helping themselves to her.

This enraged me. In a final act of separation, I sent out a message on their mailing list (they didn't think to take me off the list for quite a while, which is something I used to my advantage several times). My message was extremely hostile, very angry, and more than a little rude.

The next thing I know, Akiko waved goodbye to her Christian friends. She was safely and soundly on the secular side as I gave her a final parting hug at the end of the year, before she went back to Japan. I was sad to see her go, but I was glad to see her happy. Happy and free.

And I was angry beyond words at the Christian groups.

Then, the Catholic group turned on me, as well. In a situation amazingly similar to what happened with Campus Crusade, I found myself voted head of a study group for the following semester. I was to help research various topics of interest, possibly pertaining to Catholic ethics or theology or social work or history or literature or whatever, and I would encourage discussion of those topics among the participants. Unfortunately, the newly elected student leaders didn't think I was up to the task. So, they invited me to their office, spent an hour and a half telling me everything about me they considered flawed, and told me they wanted me off the team.

This depressed me. This really depressed me. As soon as the semester ended, treated that depression by doing something crazy. I bought a plane ticket and set off for Korea.

That was the best decision I ever made.

I wasn't at all ready to be there, but I still found myself face to face with an entire country full of happy people who didn't need all that Jesus garbage I couldn't get away from back home. I was free to think things over without distractions, and for the first time, I really did that. I examined arguments for and against Christianity. I tore through every article and every book I could find on the subject. I debated on the internet. I engrossed myself in this.

All the while, I grew to know and love the friends I met over there. I grew to appreciate the tacit racism in a religion that would give these people status less than that of those lucky enough to be born someplace like Italy. In short, I did what every Christian considers the worst thing you can possibly do: I fell in love with the world.

The world isn't so bad, as much as Christians don't want to admit that. It's full of wonderful people, wonderful traditions, and good food. I fell deeper and deeper in love with the country of my maternal grandparents all while re-examining my previous beliefs. I told myself I wanted to start over. I told myself I needed to decide what to believe based on the merits of the beliefs, not on how I was raised. I needed something that could satisfy my intellect, and I convinced myself that in order to do that, it would have to be morally consistent. No more all-loving gods who at the same time hate 75% of the world.

And that was that. I gave up Christianity altogether while on the other side of the world.

Life threw a few more curveballs my way since then, but for the most part, I found myself free. I found myself without the religious baggage that had made my life hell for so long. I found myself happy and satisfied. I could be happy with who I was and with what I believed.

I finally became *me*.


As an epilogue, I spent the remainder of my college career returning to mathematics, my real first love, and in my free time I continued to oppose Campus Crusade. They made many efforts to convert me back, but I kept fighting, both for my sake and for the sake of my non-Christian friends. In particular, there was a wonderfully sweet Muslim girl I grew fond of, and when they tried to trick her (and the rest of the Muslim student population) into attending a conversion rally--which they called a lecture by a "Muslim" philosopher (see, it pays to be on their mailing list, since what they said there and what they put on the advertising posters didn't match at all--and the speaker turned out to be a raving Christian looney just like the emails said)--I organized a protest and generally helped make the Christian group look like a bunch of jerks. The Muslim population liked us for that.

I graduated college and got myself a wonderful job, and I think my life is only going to get better from here.

And the upward trend started when I found out that the Christians aren't all they claim to be. Imagine that. Something that was terrible at the time ended up being something good for me, just because it shook my faith.

Faith can make you do stupid things. It can make you hang out with stupid people and hold stupid beliefs. Don't be fooled by people who try to sell faith to you. They're really selling you a life that you're better off escaping.

Answer 2

Oh gosh.. a hundred million things made me not be a Christian any longer.

First of all, read the Bible. WHY are all these outrageous stories accepted? Have you EVER heard of ANY of these kind of things happening and having it printed in the paper or on the news? When I was a Christian, I just figured that god only had miracles and weird things happen back in the bible days and stopped doing it after the bible was written. Dumb, I know, but that was my rationale when I was a kid because I sure had never heard of people parting the seas, talking snakes, or whatever in real life.

But it wasn't just the crazy stories in the bible, it was mainly the hidden "hatred" and ignorance I saw from other Christians that made me denounce it. Christians claim they don't hate anyone but I didn't see much love when I had an argument with my VERY religious uncle who claimed that Jews and "homosexual perverts" will go to hell. He wasn't calm either.. he had a wild look in his eyes and I didn't like it.. I just told him that I was sorry, if God was going to damn Jews or gay people, then I'll just go to hell right along with them because those are some of my best friends.

There are more reasons, believe it or not, but these are some of the main reasons. I just don't believe in a religion that doesn't allow you to question your faith, your god or the bible. There's something suspicious about that, don't you think?

Answer 3

Yes a lot of things in the bible do not make sense. First of all, Jesus' spoke using idioms and the language of his day.
Second, the hebrews thought that it was obvious that the bible isn't supposed ot be taken so literally-so directly.

The real God doesn't ahve a particular shape or form. The real God never created hell. God loves us no matter what and God understands why we do certain things we could call "evil". If you enjoy kiliing people, then your soul is not very evolved. It's all about evolving your soul to a state of pure love, joy, acceptance, blessing, and gratitude.

Answer 4

For one thing, I left Christianity because I have many differing views from most Christians. Another, when I was a member at my church I was made to feel like an outcast. In general, the christians who I spent my time with were hypocritical. Gossiping and being judgemental of people is not very christianlike. I left because there are too many contradictions and somepeople use the Bible to justify some of the hateful views they have. Christianity has just as much validity as any other religion, in the fact that there is no proof that it is the right religion. Just becuase an old book says something does not mean that it is true - after even the true words of Jesus (if he even existed) were censored and changed at the Council of Nicea(sp?).

All in all, I do not have a problem with any religion, but I do have a problem with most of the followers. Religion should not be pushed on people or different cultures. If one does not want to be "saved" then Christians should not interfere.

A little story - I went to my old church to see my aunt do a solo in the choir - I had not been there in a couple years. A deacon of the church held by arms by force and harrassed me. He held my arms down to my side and told me to repent and yelled at me in front of the whole congregation that I am doomed to hell... He was physically abusive to me and left bruises on my arms - charges were laid. My mother who was with me took a couple shots of what happened on her canera phone to use as proof - he got a big fine and had to do community service. I was also emotionally scared from the event - it was humiliating to be helpless in front of so many people and to be told I will never be anything until I accept Jesus.

Like I said, being religious is fine, but when it gets to the point when it hurts people - there is something wrong. I have left Christianity for good and feel much more positive about life in general. I honestly don't care if people think I am going to hell - I was already there when I went to church - I choose freedom from these type of people.

Answer 5

I am an ex religious idiot... I do not call myself the classical version of what it has BECOME to be a christian. I believe in Christ as a rabbi and a teacher, I believe the bible is the inspired living word of God and I believe that almost every single religion has it wrong.

Let's just say hypothetically, that the bible is a Grimm Fairy tale-esq story filled with axioms and knowledge. So what! If it isn't broke, don't fix it! How many self help books do people buy and read and believe and follow after earnestly everyday? The bible is just the oldest.

I don't question it's validity because I was never one to argue anything for the sake of the argument. Some people just like to hear themselves flap about anything as long as someone is listening. The reason for the flapping is irrelevant.

I have been involved in one way or another in my life with almost every religion known to me personally... I have educated myself and involved myself even to the point of at different points in my life, honestly subscribing to their beliefs and preaching them, unaware of what it was I was filling people's heads with. Then (when I became sane)... or as close to it as I wpersonally will ever get... I realized that belief, faith is very personal and everyone has their right to believe and do whatever they have to do to find that God force inside themsleves and make it real TO THEM through faith and belief and through the choice to have those beliefs or to not believe in anything but the self as a kind of God force. Each one wants to be right... no one can PROVE the absoulte correctness of either argument. Faith, cannot be proven it is counterproductive to its own definition.

The atheists AND the religious harp and beeatch about the money and the monuments and the crosses and holidays... Both forgetting equally, both blinded by their own need to argue, that this country was built on the freedom to worship as one pleases. They not only forget that. They forget the tolerance they should have and lack the backbone to be able to both stand beside a christain or a Jew or a muslem or an atheist... as they are and abide despite their influence... Both arguments lack the resolve and structure to be able to do that comfortably so they argue... You do not need to argue what you feel and honestly believe is the truth. truth has no argument.

THAT is what this country is all about and weather or not you should HAVE to look at anyone elses displays or enudre anyone elses choice to not participate should never come into play in an intelligent argument for or against anything.

Answer 6

I am not. I am a born non-christian, and am sure that you will not get any one in yahoo from India at least who was a non-christian. In India, the recent converts are all illiterate and poor people who are allured for conversion with out knowing what they are doing. There is nothing to attract in Bible for a modern educated and enlightened person. All organised religions have lost their relevance for a modern peace loving human being.

Answer 7

There are so many people and religions that interpret the bible in a way that best suits their ideals. I believe people should try to understand the bible on their own, but the flaw in that is that some people don't have the capacity to follow what they are reading, so they fill in the blanks, just like the people they're trying to discount. My main problem with religion is that it has a pack mentality and that makes it easier for them to judge or reject people who don't fit in with their beliefs.

Answer 8

I used to be a christian, but like you I changed, but for different reasons. For one, what was really the point in killing his own son? If he's god, then he could just say "Hey, I forgive you all," and be done with it. Also, there's the point that there's no physical proof. Don't yell at me, because I'm not one of those 'see it to believe it' people. It's just, that I could write a book of stories revolving around one person, pass it down through a few generations, have them all learn a different language and write their own stories in it. A few million years from now, that could be a new religion. What's to stop that from happening? I mean, with all the classes that teach religion. I don't really know what I believe now, though. I mean, look around. This can't have all happened by change, but I don't know what belief to change to. I guess I"m agnostic.

Answer 9

I somewhat have this sense that we ought to get into an outstanding debate on the as quickly as saved continuously saved subject. specific, I do agree that particularly some the atheists who're the main illiberal are people who're former Christians. yet, i will disagree with you on the "i've got faith that they in no way HAD a private relationship with God or they might not be "ex-Christians" interior the 1st place. yet that's yet another tale." subject.... i know some distance too many human beings at right here who somewhat enjoyed God and felt they did have a private relationship with God with the aid of His son, Jesus Christ. lots of whom went into ministry by using fact they needed to serve the Lord. yet, for one reason or yet another, they have rejected God. So, in accordance on your good judgment, they the two would be dragged into heaven by using fact they have been saved, or they mistakenly believed that they've been Christians yet they actually weren't. If the latter section is actual, then how can every person ever have faith that they are somewhat saved? there's a scripture with the aid of Jesus interior the Bible: "he that endures to the top with me would be saved." whilst no it is common to take you remote from God, you may prefer to stroll remote from God.

Answer 10

There were a lot of reasons, but the main one was the amount of hypocrisy I saw day in and day out in the church and in people who claimed to be following God. For example, the Bible says "thou shall not commit adultery", but I've seen countless church leaders and members having affairs.

The other main reason was the fact that the Bible itself has been screwed up, cut and pasted, translated incorrectly and had books removed and put back in over the centuries. I can't trust the word of God when man has had his dirty little paws all over it.

I still believe in God, and I do believe that Jesus was "a" Savior of mankind, but I also believe that people like Moses, Buddha, Mohammad, Ghandi and Mother Teresa were "saviors" of mankind.

Answer 11

I stopped being a Christian for many of the same reasons. The bible does not make sense in many cases. Some nuggets of wisdom do exist there but nothing more. I also do not believe that God would have gender. It would limit God. I do not believe that God would even exist in the form of a human. This is simply hubristic projection. If God does exist then God is something that we could not possibly imagine.