I have noticed a lot that people lately are not married when they get pregnant or anything. I am wondering why that it is? Isn't it harder to raise a child or two alone? How bad is it on the child? I got pregnant when I was 18 and still in high school. birthcontrol did not work. But he and I where already talking about getting married. We just changed the date. My sister has two kids from two diffrent guys and doesn't even know who the father is for the second. She is just bumming off our parents. Is this the norm now? And if so why? I would imagine that it would be horrible. Someone please exsplain this.
2006-08-10 05:27:48 · 7 answers · asked by gin 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I have seen a lot of judgemental people making comments about having and/or raising children without being married to the father. I can tell you from experience that sometimes fathers are overrated. In a perfect world, we would find the perfect man and have perfect children and a perfect family life. The reality of the situation is that this is the real world and sometimes things just don't work out "perfectly."
I can also guarantee you that getting married just because you are having a baby is no reason to get married. It will never work and the child will be emotionally scared from the relationship. Are people having sex when they shouldn't? Yes, probably. Does that mean they should get married? Heck no.
Yes, it is difficult to raise children on your own, but it can be done. I have seen plenty of screwed up people out there who were raised by two parents. I have also seen some really well adjusted, successful people who were raised in single parent homes. I think parenting can be difficult either way. It is not an exact science.
I think that people need to quit judging others and worry about their own stuff.
2006-08-10 05:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by MJL613 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i think it's the normal thing because people have the " it's not going to happen to me " complex. Not that single parent do do the best they can for their children, I agree that it does take two people to raise a child and even better if you can have the whole family help. What's that saying it takes a tribe. These days people are taking responsibilities for their actions it's just that they should try to take responsibility before action. Some of the kids that are on the teens section are talking about nothing but sex. I think people need to put the idea in their kids heads earlier that sex is for people who are in love not lust and even better is they are married or are at least planning a future together. And parents need to kick their mooching kids out for a short time and avoid helping them for at least a month or two so they can get a sense of responsibilities . I know my cousin lives at home at 23 and does not go to school or work and sleeps all day and parties all night, I think she needs to grow up and do something with her life. but our society allows it so it's going to keep going on and frustrate those of us who observe it on a daily basis
2006-08-10 13:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by manda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 children by 2 different men...most people would judge me by that alone. But the truth is I got pregnant @ 17 and was alone for the first year...her dad finally decided he'd help take care of her after the state made him of course. I worked 7 days a week, double shifts, had no car, no money, no nothing...I lived in low income housing and was on welfare for a very short time. In 2001 I moved back to the town I'd gotten pregnant in I got my own apartment and bought a truck, I went to school part time and worked full time. I missed ALOT of my daughter...first step, first tooth, first words....but when she was about 2 years old I met my husband...We got married very quickly and had a baby very quickly, we have a big home, 2 cars 2 fanstastic kids and we're settled and happy..I guess the moral of my story is that although I agree a bunch of kids by a bunch of different dads isn't ideal when you live life responsibly and you love your kids and take care of them in a responsible and grown up manner than having different dad's isn't the end of the world, being a single parent isn't terrible either, it's true though that your children see less of you and they get a worn out working mom....but those moments I had alone with my daughter meant the world to both of us, she's almost 7 now and we're very close....
2006-08-10 12:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had my first child when I was 16, he was not planned. We did not use protection so we knew it would eventually happen.
I made it through High School and everything was fine. We were talking about getting married, we were even engaged at one point.
We did not get married and now I have another child by another Father. We are not married and have not yet decided to get married.
Some people just aren't ready for marriage but are ready for kids. It doesn't effect the child if you are married or not, as long as the Family is happy.
2006-08-10 12:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by tigergirl301 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, looks like people are just accepting it as a norm now. I think people should be married and get the support they need from their spouse. So many think that it's easy to just have a baby and the world will be great, but than when/if depression hits them, they may have no one to turn to for help.
2006-08-10 12:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by Ericka K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Like you birth controll didnt work for me either. I knew that wed be devoriced if we stayed together. We didnt marry, and are still friendly today. I havent had a hard time raising her by myself. I dont think this is normal, but I think being a single parent is just more accepted today.
2006-08-10 12:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by maeknits 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh girl i so hear u, if u could only read the story i see every day and it pisses me off, but it also reassures me that i will never be like that, having babies from different fathers, unstable homes,
2006-08-10 12:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by sourgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋