Life becomes too much to handle then crashes.?

Question

I have had a hard life, from childhood on. It has been riddled with abuse in every kind of fashion possible. I am married now with two children and am 26 yrs. old. My husband is a good man, but we have been together since we were sixteen and have grown into completely different people now. I am not happy with where I am in life and who I am. Money is a constant struggle and I hate that about life. I always think, if it weren't for money life on this planet would be much more meaningful. I go to sleep at night hoping that I just don't wake up in the morning, but I always do. I just want things to get better or different or maybe I don' t really know what I want to happen. I am just so tired...

Answer 1

Life is hard, and many of us have been abused in our childhoods and right up into our adult lives....... part of the marriage thing is growing together, sure you and your husband have grown into different people since you were 16, you have grown up. The thing is to grow together, be your partners 'partner'. Money is a constant strugle and unfortunately a main flow in todays world and functioning........ but before money came along, people were forced to give up live stock and food to pay on taxes and make trades for neccessities that were needed. It was just as hard then as it is now........ difference is money is a little easier to aquire with a job or two jobs to be able to live. People back in the golden days had very stressful times if they were running low on livestock or having a bad farm season. You could always go back to school and hopefully get a degree or licence in something that is a good income for you and your family....... colledge or a vocational school. You may already have that and the field you chose is not what you thought.. so you can go back and get something else under your belt......... where there is a will there really is a way.......... blessed be and good luck..... some how we always make through another day.

Answer 2

I've been there and the number one thing I can tell you is do not make any life-altering decisions while you are in this frame of mind. You and your husband need to get into individual counseling, as well as couples counseling and family counseling.

I am the Queen of "Life becomes too much to handle then crashes". I've been through abuse, addiction, etc., too. It has taken six years of therapy and two years of antidepressants to get even the barest handle on things. It's a long, hard process, but I promise you it is worth it.

You have kids and you and your husband have been together for ten years. That's quite an investment in life, and highly commendable. Money issues suck, but even the healthiest of couples have money issues. Don't let burnout ruin what you've worked so hard to build.

You need to start with therapy, perhaps medication as well and the best thing you can do is to be HONEST with each other and with your counselor. Anything less will just lead to resentment. My parents are polar opposites, but they have put a lot of work into their marriage and have been together for 39 years. As long as there aren't any MAJOR issues (abuse, drugs, alcoholism, etc.) just about everything can be dealth with as long as you're both willing to put the work into it. Your children will thank you for your efforts too!

If you attend church, look into whether or not they have any kind of Marriage Encounter program. My parents do that one a lot!

Even if you find you just can't work it out, which I hope you do, but if you go through counseling and can separate amicably, that will always be better for everyone involved.

Has either of you considered going back to school? I am doing that right now and it has made the biggest difference in helping me to decide where I want my life to go!

Just take it one day at a time. You can do it! Good Luck!

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear that life hasn't been easy for. I have had hard times in my life as well. I have never experienced any physical abuse, but have many catastrophic events take place. I am 25 and think about the course of events that have taken place every single day. I won't go into any details here, but will tell you that you have to make things better. I am not saying that they will ever be easy b/c they won't. I am saying you have to learn to manage those feelings. You will always have days that seem like it just may not be worth it, but they are! You have a chance to make it better, to make sure history doesn't repeat itself, you have children that look up to you and depend on you. You know how you hurt, don't let it happen to them. As far as the struggle w/money, you have to budget yourself. Sometimes you may not be able to have the cell phone that everyone else has, but if you are willing and able bodied, you can make a living and help support your family. Just do your part to make it right. I don't recommend anti-depressants, but sometimes they are needed to at least help you get your emotions under control and learn to effectively manage them. There are certain vitamins that aide in emotional health as well. Good luck. Have a faith in yourself, because if you don't, don't expect anyone else to either.

Answer 4

Don't get angry--
I understand about a rough childhood. I had a doozy myself. But at some point I had to stop using it as a crutch and an excuse NOT TO MOVE ON. It wasn't easy, but once I came to terms with it, realized it was the past, I was able to focus on the things I wanted to do in the future. The two most important things I had to realize were that 1. I am never "stuck". It made be hard, but I never have to stay in a situation that is bad or unhealthy for me. And 2. if I have a problem that can be solved with money, it's not a problem to me. Money issues can be resolved with hard work, bugeting, etc. Problems are the true life stuff that I need to get over. I suggest to reach out to any friends you have for support and love, and get involved in some type of group to meet people who can empathize and let you know how they have overcome in their lives. Good luck!

Answer 5

you are being tooo hard on yourself your in a situation where you wish things were the way they were when you first met your husband. life is hard and if there is something you dont like change it! do either of you have parents that can watch the kids for the night and plan some things that dont cost money? take a long walk, reminise about when you first met, what your first kiss felt like, the joy of having your children.or plan a small picnic just the two of you. pack a lunch go to a nice quiet park if you got one. or sit in the car and put on a radio station you two like and think about something nice about your hubby when you hear a song and vica versa. have a romantic night in bed, candles some fruit, you can massage each other tell each other how much you love one another and you are lucky to have each other. these things will appreaciate you both and your family in just a small time of togetherness just the two of you

Answer 6

In life we all have struggles, whether they be financial, health wise, marrital, family and work wise,etc. But, no matter what the situation is, nothing is worth such contemplations. We all have our struggles as well as our triumphs and we must stay strong and calm when we face obstacles especially when you have children that depend on you, With every problem lies an answer. Find out what that is and work your way from there. Stay strong and good luck!!

Answer 7

don't fight the hard times, relax, go with it an know the calm will come...ride the wave. It's not easy but it can be done. Write down your thoughts as well, journalling can be a life saver.

Answer 8

ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER, THINK HARD, TAKE SOME TIME...THEN, GO FOR IT!!!! I KNOW IT CAN BE SCARY (LIFE OF THE UNKNOWN CAN BE BETTER,IT IS UP TO YOU!)!

Answer 9

apparantly antidepressant medication can help you feel ok about a bad situation but i have my doubts.

Answer 10

call on a frog for support...IM yahoo: [e-mail]...frogs hop to it