What should I do to help Jessica with her anger?

Question

Jessica is my 6 year old daughter, who has a lot of angry feelings. She has been through severe neglect, by her father, foster care, returned to the same situation she was removed from, so I was forced to remove her from her fathers care. On top of that her brother was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. I feel that during her stay in foster care she was brushed aside, because of her brothers diagnoses. We are staying at a shelter for women and she seems to become angerier, and more resentfull everyday. She is begining therapy, and I do everything I can to help her but I am afraid that if I can't help her learn to deal with her anger soon she will rebell even more. So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

She SEEMS to become angrier every day, but that doesn't mean that her anger is increasing, necessarily. I believe it likely that, as her situation is improving, and as she is beginning therapy, that she's SHOWING her anger more openly.

This may not be something to be worried about, so much as the initial steps toward healing.

Ask her therapist to discuss this with you: should I be worried, what do you suggest I do?

I say the best thing you can do is to acknowledge her anger, let her express it non-violently, and allow her the emotional space to figure out how to deal with it.

I'm not an expert, have no formal training, no license, nada. I'm just someone who's read and thought about this stuff a lot. Just so you know.

Answer 2

Maybe you need to take some time out with her and do an activity she really enjoys. She will be in a fun, safe, relaxing environment and be more likely to open up to you. Perhaps you can ask her what is bothering her and why she feels angry. Young children are very perceptive. Give her your time and attention. If she doesn't open up right away, don't give up. Make sure you tell her you love her and how she is feeling is ok and that you want to help her feel better.

Answer 3

I agree with the person who said "prayer". God is the only one who's going to change her heart, there's alot of hurting kids out there today who've been hurt by one parent or another and have dealt with abandonment at such an early age, it's really sad. I've had the same anger issues myself and I've been talking to a counselor from New Life Ministries and it's really helped me to see things in a new light. I can see myself as God sees me, that I'm worth alot no matter how people on this earth have treated me. I was abandoned by my mother at 12 years old, and have always had low self esteem and have always been hard on myself. I'm starting to see changes now at 32 years old that I've never seen before, and I'm loving the new attitude and thought process. Just realizing that God has more love for me because I am his creation than any earthly mothe or father ever could is amazing. All you can do is be there for her and let her know she is loved...but most of all pray for her that God will change her heart and bring people into her life who will show her genuine love.

Answer 4

God bless you. Mothers carry so much weight for their children, and unfortunately, we can only do the best we can do for them. How often we feel that is is not enough and blame ourselves.
It sounds like you are doing so much for her already, getting her out of harms way, getting her in therapy.
I say take care of yourself first, as best as you can (which I believe you are already doing). If you believe in God, try to get involved in some spiritual groups or activities because that will help fill you up in a positive way.
I truly believe that right now, you need to do what you are doing and try to worry less, because worry will not help.
Keep reaching out to others. Be a good, consistant example of how to live for your daughter.
Have faith in the future.
You seem very intelligent and caring and I believe the future holds good things for both of you.

Answer 5

Love her and be there for her she is probably very confused and scared right now and doesn't understand why all this happening in her life she is probably angry because she feels as if she doesn't matter but you need to let her know that she does take her in your arms and hold her and tell her how much you love her and if she starts crying just let her cry and cry maybe you both just need to cry together I will pray for your family Good Luck Nd God Bless

Answer 6

I am very sorry for you and this poor little girl. Counseling/therapy is probably the best thing for her. Other than that, all you can do is love her- unconditionally- and let her know she is number one in your life no matter how down and out you are.

Good luck to you and Jessica. You are in my thoughts.

Answer 7

i work with foster kids and all she needs is a lot of attention and praise. praise her on whatever she does make her feel special and let her know that she is everything to you. love more than anything else in this world let her no that nothing will ever come between you and her. she is still pretty young just like a lot of foster kids that i work with. all they really want is love and to feel special and whatever you do don't ever raise your voice to her teach her to use her words while using yours. :)

Answer 8

The best you can do is to pray for her. Prayer works. Sometimes, you won't get the answer you want, but it is the best thing you can do. Maybe if you took her to a child therapist or an anger management group it would help.

Answer 9

Sometimes anger management doesn't help.

Get her involved with her friends. When she turns 9, get her involved in sports. She can take out her energy that way and not with anger. Softball and Soccer are best.

Answer 10

be her mother and mother her back to joy... it might take some time but sooner or later she will feel like shes cared for... and when she gets older she should start to be more understanding and less angry