i have a 4 year old daughter. i have been rasing her my self since the day she was born. her dad has not been in her life he has been in jail her whole life. probably 3 months out of 4 years hes been there for her but not even that. i let her go see him with her grandmother in jail which i'm being nice and i really don't won't her there. but he calls and tell me i'm not doing my part as being her mother. i get whatever she needs and wants. i work 8 hours a day for 5 days and pay my bills. his family don't do nothing for her they might buy a outfit here and there. i been dating this guy for a year and he is great to her . i couldn't ask for more. her dad does not like that at all and he always threatin me saying i ain't goinhg to have her anymore and that if it ain't her way it ain't no way. she my daughter. i'm both moma and daddy. i hate her daddy with a passion. i get tired of him telling me how to rasie her. he was not thinkin about her then so why now?
2006-08-10 05:04:56 · 25 answers · asked by Diamond22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well that's just too bad for him isn't it? he should've figured out how to be a man 4 years ago
2006-08-10 05:07:54 · answer #1 · answered by KrIsTyN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I'm very happy that you found a good man for you and your daughter.
Your ex is threatening you? Make sure you let the judge know because that can keep him in jail longer and it sounds like he will cause a lot of trouble once he gets out. He is NOT in this child's life at all and has no right whatsoever to tell you how to raise this child. He doesn't hold the role of the father and until he steps up to the responsibility he just needs to keep his mouth shut. Why do you even talk to him though? Stop accepting his calls and cut off communication. And don't worry about him taking the kid away, he's in jail and no judge will award him custody. How does your daughter feel about her father being in jail? Does she like going to see him? That's a tough situation and I hope things work out for the better for you. Good luck.
2006-08-10 12:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun. he is jealous. My mother does not like my step mother. Parents dont like the thought that they are being replaced. he wont be able to take your daughter away, dont worry..he was the one in jail..not you. I understand how you feel. Im sure you are a great mother, just keep fulfilling your daughters needs..and her wants here and there. I know you dont want your young child in the jail..and I would either..not exactly the best place for a kid..when my dad was in jail..my mom didnt let me see him until he was out. Which was a few times. I think that if you end up marrying this man you will be alot hapier as a person..you will feel like you have a load lifted off of your back because you wont have to be a daddy also. Just the mommy. && if your daughter liek this man..than its all good. Just check up with her a few times to make sure she does. Well. I bid you good luck and, im sure everything will be fine. Just tell your self it will.and have god with you. and you can do anything.
EDIT
if you want your daughtehr to have some sort of communication with her daddy, have him call her everynight. Thats what my dad does. Also you could have her stay with her father everyother weekend IF you feel that she would be safe..and he would not harm her..otherwise stick with the phone calls.
2006-08-10 12:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ms cool pants. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok lets just take this a step at a time. first of all tell him dont call your house unless it's to talk to your dauther . second you better talk to a lawyer . even thuogh you have her and have raised her . you never formally went to court and ask for child support. this way by law and pappers you have custody of her and he cant just come and take her . let them know that he is threatening on taking your dauther and if worse comes to worse stop letting her go see her dad . i'm sorry i would never ever let my child see her dad behind bars no matter what. i child should never see that.No matter how much a low life he is a child should never have to indure going to the jail to see daddy becouse eventually the question will be why is daddy in jail. and thats a hole other can of worms.
talk to your b/f have you let him know what's going on? have you told him evrything? you need to be open and ohnest and make sure he is behind you 100% .
if your X keeps harrassing you you must report these actions to the jail even if it is a 3 way call he has no buissness harrassing you he is only to talk to your dauther and he is not allwowed to ask her about your personal life and what is going on in your house. and you need to let his family know that it is not appreciated that they let them do this. and if he is in there a long time dont worry to much.
o yea about the child support if he is working in there part of his pay will go to you even if it's almost nothing but he will be paying. and if he is not working they will eventually find him a job.
Stay strong and keep your head up . Firgive him of whatever he has done to you and dont hold hate in your heart it will only destroy you and keep you prisoner of your self.
let it go and be a good mother as you are already
Good luck
2006-08-10 12:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by mary_llinas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it's none of his business who you date as long as your boyfriend is not a threat to your daughter. He's in JAIL for goodness sake! There is no judge in the world that would give him custody. I think the best thing for you to do is to move and cut off all contact with him and his family. It seems that it is in your best interest for the sake of your daughter. The farther the better, but even if it's just another town nearby.
Also, you might want to check with a lawyer to make sure that he doesn't have any rights or can't come after you. Make sure you are educated on all of the facts and laws.
2006-08-10 12:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by Pumpkin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignor him, he's angry because your with a man that makes you happy now. He has no say in what you do so tell him to mind his business. Tell him he is not to contact you unless it has to do with your child, and that he has no idea on how to raise a child because he hasn't been around his own child enough to know. And if he keeps harrassing you forwarn him that you'll have him arrested for it. If he keeps up the BS then talk to your lawyer.
2006-08-10 12:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by CLM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what he thinks, this is your life and your choice. I think your being way too nice to him even listening to him. Do yourself and your daughter a favor and cut off contact with her daddy if he isn't willing to respect you and your life choices. You need to do what is best for you and your daughter. Stop listening to him, don't even let him talk to you. When he talks crap just walk away or hang up.
2006-08-10 12:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gurl, dont worry about that man, he should have thought about that 4 years ago, he aint there for the baby, he should be greatful he even gets to see her, and for 1 he cant take that child away, cause he cant provide and his records are against him, so just relax, and be greatful for the man you have, cause not all man accept a woman with a child; your bless and you worht too much to be worrying about, ur sperm donor, thats all he is, remember that, cause he aint doing anything else, .......:-)))) and ur a grown woman, raise her how you see best, cause it is not like he is a role model, he is in jail...and if he loved her so much, he would want nothing but the best for her, even if he have to give her up....think about what i said....and do the right thing,,,,i love kids too much to see one man try to make another child life miserable
2006-08-10 12:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by love_kindness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps threatening you it might be time to check into getting a restraining order on him for threatening you,. This way he will have to stay away from you and your daughter. For him to see her there will have to be a third party present to make sure he does not try to take her or harm her. They will take her to the meetings with her father and they will bring her back from the meetings,. Check this out with your local authorities or with your attorney,
2006-08-10 12:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by merrybears200 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay in the relationship. I live in Texas and there is nothing he can do to you even in ya'll were living together. Just make sure you are a good mom and he can't legally do anything. Make sure you are there for your child and that the child gets what is needed, including love and attention.
2006-08-10 12:12:49 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would continue to date my new guy who great for me and my daughter.
I would watch my back about my ex though. He sounds like he may do something to you or your child. Be careful. I would say get a restraining order. But they never stopped my stalkers from coming around and the police always took their time getting ther. So just be careful and watch yourself.
2006-08-10 12:11:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋