Why would you CHOOSE to have kids-then send to daycare-live on TWO incomes and give in to societies myth?

Question

I get so fired up about this-I thought I would spark some interest.I am a Mother of 2 ages 3 and 7.Live on my Hubby's LPN salary, we own our own home have 3 cars 2 of them are paid for,and we are HAPPILY married.And love our children.You don't NEED 2 incomes you just have to be smart about it.I think its selfish to put your kids in daycare if there is no NEED, meaning there is a parent to provide income and one to stay with the kids.You think your stressed after a hard days work, what about your kids you wake them up at wee hours of the morning drop them off at a FACILITY with a bunch of other tired kids and expect them to be GOOD, when you pick them up at nite you feed them then its time for bed!!UMM ok you think they are happy,,no all kids want is their parents to love them and be there.Yeah I have heard it all before I have to work to save for their bright future-or oh this is a good one--I couldn't stay with my kids all day they would drive me crazy, Don't be selfish-be a MOM!!

If you are single thats is diff,yes you have to provide.And NO i do not get state FUNDS.Keep lying to yourself that you are a good parent and you'll strat believing it,I have two liscense in medical field and I could work if need be, I chose to have kids and am choosing to raise them.WHOOO I knew this would spark some one-I am thankful for what I have a Happy family and I am not going to work for some CEO to make him rich-No LPN's don't make good money and we do live paycheck to paycheck who cares ,your family is more important Dr. Laura Shlesinger is a radio host that is great inspiration on how important it is to be a Mother and a wonderful wife I not only put my kids first but I also love and respect my husband for everything he sacrifices for us as a family.Well I accomplished what I came for to get you thinking,we only have one life to live no second chances.Count your blessings .Instead of saving for your childs education,put it towards therapy -and-have a good day at work!!!!!!

Answer 1

Your lucky your husband makes good money, or you may see that in todays society, most families cannot live off only one salary. It must be so nice to sit back and judge other mothers that have no other choice, I almost hope your marriage falls apart so you can see that some have no choice!

Dont you think all Mothers and even some fathers would not love to stay home all day everyday with their children? Heres a good Idea, maybe my mom should have quit working spent all her time with me, and eventually we'd end up living on the street and starning together! come on... Your acting like the whole world makes good money- NEWS FLASH- Most families live paycheck to paycheck, and still have a hard time living! Maybe you should get off the internet and go SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOUR KIDS! If you were such a great parent you wouldnt be on the net while your kids are, I bet, Watching TV!!! Good Job Mom!!

Answer 2

I agree with your thoughts. Right now, I do not have any children, but my husband and I are going to begin trying. These are some of the issues that we are currently discussing. My husband is in a job that he hates, but it pays the bills (we too own our own home.) I am currently going to college and in the Fall I will be working two jobs, so we can get ahead a little bit. (if that is possible) I want to be a teacher, that is my main educational goal, but I also want to have a family and I have my thoughts about day care as well. I can understand that some parents choose to put their kids in daycare, so they can still fulfill their dreams and/or their careers, but for me, I would rather spend the first few years (at least) being home with my child/children. I want to watch them develop their own personalities, learn to talk, walk etc...but at the same time I want my career. I have worked very hard for the past 3 years getting an education, and I still have 2 years left. I do not think I should give up my dream of being a teacher, so I can be a parent, but I also think being a parent is important. I figure that my career would be a great choice for a parent because you get the summers off and once the kids are in school, you will all be home at the same times. My husband says he is willing to leave his job, once I am working so he can stay at home with the children and I think that is great, but I also want to be able to afford the things we need, and most importantly set aside money for our child's/children's education. (I feel education is VERY important). At this point, I don't know what we will do, I hope we have the chance to do it all, without neglecting our kids or dropping them off to care, because if we had to do that, I would feel we could really be missing out on a lot of things.

Answer 3

Not every mother has the opportunity to stay at home. Not every mother has the choice to work.

We ALL do what is the best for ourselves and our families. Which is not made easier by people who look down at working moms or stay at home moms. Wouldn't it be great if we could be supportive of each other instead of finding fault and thinking that our life choices are more superior to anothers.

Through out history mothers have worked to help maintain the family and the home. It is only here in the US since WWII that some Americans have an uppidity attitude about staying at home with the children. It became a status symbol during the baby boom. Women have worked in the fields, cleaned others homes, and many indian cultures women were not only valued for their contributions to the tribal govts, but they grew the food and built the shelters while men were hunting for food, fighting in wars or searching for greener pastures.

Answer 4

many people don't have the higher education that your husband does and therefor both parents must work. it also depends on where your husband works, not all LPN's make good wages, i know LPNs who work in a nursing home for an average pay of $14.00 an hour, i also know some who work for an agency for as much as $30.00 an hour, but these nurses are often gone for a week at a time. bigger cities pay a lot more than a small town and hospitals pay more than nursing homes. also if you find a good structured daycare, children benefit form the socialization with other children, especially preschoolers. you seem to have limited your thoughts to families with two parents, but what about singlee parent families? are singl mothers horrible parents because they have to put their children in daycare? you are very fortunate to be able to stay home and spend time with your children, do not feel that that fortune falls into the lap of everyone else

Answer 5

In many parts of the country, you absolutely do have to have two salaries to support a middle class family. And what about couples where both work lower paid jobs? The reality is that, for many couples, it's either work two jobs or be homeless. Should they never have children? What if it's an accident?

My mom stayed home with us when she could. When the economy was down, she worked. Either way, she and my dad spent all the time with us they could. We got to play with other kids during the day, they made sure we lived okay (not with three cars, either, but at least with clean clothes and good food), and everyone knew they were loved.

Recognize that your situation is not everyone's.

Answer 6

I respect your opinion, but it's not fair of you to down me for working outside of the home. I take offense to you thinking that I am not a good mother because I don't stay at home. I am a wonderful mother and I provide my kids with love and attention. So although I respect your views on how to raise your children, you have no right telling me how I should raise mine. They are happy, healthy, and safe and I take my job as a mom very seriously. You sound like an angry individual and maybe it would do you some good to get out of the house every now and again instead of passing judgement on others whom you no nothing about. Maybe you can't do both, but there are many of us who can work and be great moms.

Answer 7

unfortunately not every mother wants to live off of their husbands salary regardless of what it is.. i'm a mother and my bf has a very good job and we have a house, w/1car that is pd for.. we have reasonable expenses and 3 children ages 4,6,9..

when we send our children to daycare, we do it cause we have to, not because we want to sit at home and because we want to.. just because ur a sit at home mom that doesn't give u the right to criticize anyone who is trying to make a living.. u don't think that all mothers would want to sit at home and just raise their children and make brownies and slave around the house???

some mothers want to be able to hold their own if their marriage or whatever type of relationship their in doesn't work.. Not all mothers want to be stupid like u and put all our eggs into one basket and not be able to provide for their child or have a backup plan to fall back on if things get ugly..

mothers can have careers and be parents to.. when these children r in daycare they r being taken care of and they r interacting w/other children which is always good.. not everymom leaves their child in daycare allday and if they do then i'm sure they gotta pretty good reason for doing so.. not every mom had a bf or husband that they can rely on.. some moms r single parents so they gotta do what they gotta do...

ur a sit at home mom-then good for u.. stop worrying about what other people r doing and worry about u.

u have no job, probably no education either... what do u do for a living..

u ain't nothing but a pot trying to call the kettle black...

Answer 8

I was raised in daycares, because my father and mother couldn;t afford to even live in an apartment without the both of them working. My mom worked in the daycare we went to, and it's not a bad experience. I used to work in a daycare, as well. The children have lots of friends, the teachers, for the most part, are nice, and very watchful. The kids get fed, they get attention, and they get company. Some parents really both have to work to keep a stable income, both of my parents STILL have to work in order to keep up with everything.

And most daycares close at 6:30, way before most children's bedtimes.

Answer 9

actually.......... two incomes are neccisary. Your husband is a LPN, what you think everyone has a well paying job. I know LPN's that are not doing soooooooo well. Life is hard and daycare gives my little girl communication skills with other children and she looks forward to going everyday. While daddy and I are bringing home the money together for rent and insurance and food and utility bills and paying for daycare........ she is learning, napping, making friends, and having a great day with other kids. Selfish, my child learning from those who are trained and experienced to teach her is not me being selfish. I work with my little girl all the time, and she misses no time with me and her daddy. We are working to support our family together, and saving money in the bank for todays little surprises that love to uprise.... a motor locking up, breaks needing to be changed, the transmission going out, getting hit by another driver who doesn't have insurance, a leak in the roof of our home, the refridgerater breaking.... Not everyone is as fortunate as you and your hubby and your children... be thankful for what you have and that you can AFFORD to stay home with your kids, instead of allowing it to bother you in a negative way that us other parents just can't have that luxuery. My baby girl is very happy and she is not in anyway missing out on life or mommy and daddy........ so just pay attention and be thankful for your own family....... at least these families work rather then live on the state to take care of them and the kids they never should have been blessed with. Blessed be...........

Answer 10

How about trying the daycare situation for a while. A lot of women

with kids have daycare in their home. Try to find one your kids

like. To have this situation work, a mother should make a kind

of large income. Otherwise the babysitting cost is too much.