Don't you think an almost 3 year old boy is too young for this?

Question

My son will be 3 in a week. Last monday my husband's parent's called from L.A. And told us that they wanted to take him to the Sacramento Zoo and to spend the night in Sacramento. And then come home the next day.

Now to make a long story short. My Mom-in-law left my son at 6 weeks old outside a store by himself in his stroller. And to this day she says she didn't do anything wrong. She disobeys anything I say & says she can do what she wants. And told me when we found out that we were pregnant with our 2nd child " Go and get an abortion" Because it wasn't planed. My sister in law has only seen him twice in his life. My father in law really doesn't care. The last time they saw him was 8 months ago in Jan. of this year.
He has never spent the night anywere with out us. And has only been babysat once when we went to a wedding in July and He couldn't come.
I think that he is way to young to be that far away ( Sacramento, CA is 3 hours away from Redding, CA) and to stay over

night with people he hardly knows. I was not allowed to spend over night with either of my grandmothers until I was 6 years old. Don't you think he is too young?

By the way. they don't want me to to be with him at all. They just want to be with him alone.
They were planing to be here today and leave this Sunday. And the whole time I would not be allowed to be with him at all.

I have told them how I feel and it doesn't matter. They think they have the right to be and do what they want with him alone. Sis-in-law E-mailed me last night and said that she wants her address off of our list because " If I can't be bothered with allowing David (hubby) & Jason ( our son) to see their family. Then I can't be bothered with you."
My hubby says I can't express what I feel towards them becuse it is not done in their family. So, even though they can express what they feel towards me. I can't do anything about it. I really want to E-mail my sister-in-law, but as my hubby says " it would only cause trouble."
His family uses Jason as a Pawn.
They say I am being to greedy with him. And because of that I am not a good parent.

PS- I think I saved them money anyway. I have heard from a lot of people that the Sacramento Zoo is not that great. Not worth the 8.00 to go

Answer 1

Grow a set of balls and tell your mother-in-law where she can stick it!!!

Answer 2

Simply put: YOU are the child's MOTHER....his M-O-T-H-E-R! It is your DUTY to protect him, regardless of the cost. If this means royally pi**ing off your in-laws, so be it. Why are you letting them intimidate you? They have already shown that they are irresponsible. Look, a mistake with a child could very well end up being a FATAL mistake. Your 3-year-old is NOT going. End of story.

However, because your spine seems to be made of Jell-o, here is what you can do: 1)tell them he is not feeling well, and the doctor doesn't want him to travel. Actually, have your also-spineless hubby do this. He obviously needs practice in standing up for his wife and family. OR 2) He can go, but your husband is going along for the trip. You guys are not comfortable letting him go alone with anyone else.

PLEASE do NOT hand over your precious son because the Cretins intimidate you! When the kids are older, you can explain that grandma & grandpa are loony and don't know the right way to take care of little kids. I don't care if no one in the family EVER speaks to you again---hey, sounds like that could be a bonus!

Finally, tell your husband to go find a pair to replace the ones he lost...YOU and the kids are his family now; he owes no explanation for your actions or his to his mommy, daddy or sister.

Answer 3

He is your son and if you don't feel right about it dont allow yourself to be pressurised into letting him go
i will tell you about my experience with my inlaws in the first years of my son's life they did not play a very big part in his life and my motherin law was always very critical anyway when he was four i was pressured into letting him stay overnight although i really didn't want him too , all night i had an awful feeling and each time i called i was told he was fine the next day he came home and was heartbroke due to the fact he had been throwing up all night and they wouldn't take him home therefore i will never let myself be dictated to again where my kids are concerned
good luck & take care xxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 4

I've told you this before. I would NEVER EVER leave my child alone with this woman. NO WAY! Tell her no. Or tell her only if you and/or hubby go along.

I would not leave my child in the care of someone who is so irresponsible and so disrespectful towards me.

Even if they were responsible and treated you nicely, I wouldn't let a 3 year old spend the night with people he hasn't seen for 8 months. He won't even know who you are!

Answer 5

To be perfectly honest, I don't think his age, the distance, staying over night, or even that he's not really familiar with them should be why you're questioning letting him go.
Regardless of what anyone else thinks, except for your husband, if you don't feel that something is appropriate while looking after your child, then it's not.
(There's always exceptions to rules, but I don't think you're being unreasonable about being concerned if your mother in law feels she did nothing wrong by leaving your son outside a store intentionally. And I doubt many others would either.)
Personally, if it were me (for the record I do in fact have a 3 year old son as well) and I felt that the person who was caring for my son made a bad judgment about his well being or safety and then disregarded my concerns. I would make it very clear, that if they can't accept that my child is not theirs, and therefore respect my expectations of acceptable supervision then they will simply not be allowed to be in his charge again. And until they showed me they in fact respected me, they could just as well not bother planning on spending much time with any of my family.
I understand that it's his mother, but if you feel as deeply concerned, and offended by the way his mother has ignored you regarding the matter as I know my son's mother would be, in my opinion your husband should absolutely back you up here. And be the one that puts his foot down to her. It's 2006, and granted nothing did happen to him, but there's no telling what could have happened, and she should have apologized in tears for endangering her grandson in that way.
If he wont, then feel free to email me and I'd be happy to take the matter up with her myself.

Answer 6

Yes, I think he is too youg. Apparently, this woman has very poor judgement if she left him alone in a stroller outside of a store. I don't know if I would let him stay with even when he is older with judgement that poor. Maybe back in her day people didn't kidnap kids as often as they do now and they also didnt have booster seats and they smoked around their kids too. This woman needs a series education in child safety before she should ever allowed to be responsible for a child.

Answer 7

i think for you. at the same time as my youngest become 3 a million/2 he also had lavatory subject matters. be affected human being and remind him frequently. try procuring a toy that is the "potty time in hardship-free words toy" one which he can in hardship-free words play with at the same time as he's on the potty. I have noted that stickers artwork properly. if you're making a chart and each and every time he's helpful he receives a sticky label, once he receives ten stickers he receives a small reward. enhance the quantity with the aid of 5 after each and every time he reaches the purpose. This labored properly for my older son, after a lengthy time period he no longer needed the stickers. Dr. Phil stated to have a social gathering each and every time your newborn identity helpful. He stated after a lengthy time period the newborn received't favor the little social gathering. do not beat your self up, comprehend that it is only a touch and that it will pass in time. Boys are obdurate and could no longer potty practice till they are waiting. i desire it enables you to maintain in mind that you aren't any further on my own.

Answer 8

If you are not ready, it is your child, you make the decision. Let your MIL know how you feel. Back when she was a mother, leaving a child in front of a store wasn't a big deal, but in this time period it is. If you need to, dig up some articles about things happening to children that are left alone and show them to her, maybe that will convince her that you are just being cautious.

Answer 9

It isn't that he's too young; some toddlers enjoy the adventure of spending the night with grandma and grandpa if they feel comfortable enough to do so.

The issue here is his safety and that isn't something to be flexible about, regardless of whose feathers it may ruffle. If you are not confident in your in-laws' ability to care for your child, you simply do not let him go. By the lack of comment on your husband's viewpoint, I get the feeling that he'll either go along with whatever his parents want or that he thinks their methods are perfectly fine (after all, they raised him so they can't be *that* bad, right? Then he'd have to examine how they might have failed him and that's a whole other can of worms.) ;)

If you put your foot down and just say no, you're going to be the bad guy. You may have to just be prepared to deal with that. The good thing about that is you'll be setting the tone for future situations & they'll know you're a force to be reckoned with. The downside is that having in-laws who dislike you can be a real pain in the ..neck. You don't have to bring up their past transgressions, you can just say that you're uncomfortable having him away overnight. Keep repeating it, it is the only answer they need...do the 'it's not you, it's me' routine. When they're just about sick of hearing it you can say 'ok, the only way he's going is if we all go as a family' and they might go for it after hearing 'no' over & over.

Listen, if you don't make a stance now, you're setting yourself up for the same drama with your second child. YOU are the mom. Your MIL raised hers the way she wanted, you're entitled to do the same. If hubby won't back you up, put your foot down with him, too. He should be acting as the 'representative' for your household; they are *his* parents.

One other thing you could try if you have the you-know-whats to do it: When they arrive to pick up your son, just announce that you'll be joining them; bag in hand and ready to go. Tell them he isn't ready to leave both his parents overnight and he wants his momma with him. Approach it cheerfully and say, "You don't mind my company, do you?" What are they going to say...they'll look like idiots if they complain right there in front of your husband and son.

Answer 10

ok tell her that he is your baby and that she can't tell your baby what he can and can't do, you had him and if you don't want him to spend the night in Sacramento b/c it is way too far from you. Say I don't trust you b/c you left him in his stroller at 3 weeks and i don't want that to happen again . And you found out that I was having a second baby you said that i should have an abortion. I just don't trust you. Good luck!!! spill how you feell!!!

Answer 11

Have your husband confront them and say your son has never spent the night away from his parents and both of you feel he is too young to do so at this point. He can let them know that they are welcome to visit the children on your terms. If they can't accept that then they were not really interested in getting to know thier grandchildren to begin with.