Abortion Question Dont Judge?

Question

I have never had one and I never would but other women in my family have and I find myself always wondering what they would have been like, looked like etc. Why does it stay on my mind and they dont seem to think of it at all ? How do I forget about it?

Answer 1

I think that makes you a wonderfully kind, and loving person. Don't stop thinking about it, just don't dwell. Also, those members of your family may think about it too, they just keep it inside.

Answer 2

some people don't thing they are killing with indeed they are. So when they have abortion most hide it won't tell some people they've had one, other just don't care at all. You won't ever forget, its just something you grow on and it will make you a better person. You know that you couldn't do this to your child. But you can't stop others. I was pregnant and my husband's friends brother's girlfriend was going to have an abortion and we told her if she went through with the pregnancy that we would adopt the baby, she said no, because she wouldn't be able to work at the end of her pregnancy. She already had one kid. We only want two kids, and its not that I can't have anymore babies because I can we just didn't want to see this baby die. I love kids and the only way I can see having an abortion is if they're is something really wrong, the mother might die trying to deliver the baby or you were raped other then that you made the choice to have sex. we all know nothing is 100% birth-control unless we don't have sex. That's the only thing that's 100% birth-control. We still can't change what others want to do. So just know that its not your fault. I hope I could help some what!!!! Take Care!

Answer 3

They probably do think about it but for whatever reason they made their decision and just because people think about something doesn't mean they discuss it because at this point they can't change it. They may not discuss it because they regret it or are sad or they may not discuss it because they forgot or want to forget. They also may not bring it up because they don't want to discuss it and be judged. Everybody I know that has had one doesn't forget just like that.

I wish I could forget also but it just doesn't always work that way. I mean somebody in your family died whether you knew them or not and most people go through the same recovery steps and often times that takes years. I've never had an abortion but I have miscarried and I know that's how it is with me, I wonder all the time but honestly I think this is first time I've admitted it to somebody other than my husband. I wonder how they would have acted with their brothers and sisters, i wonder the gender, i wonder the attitude, i wonder if that would've been my one redhead since none of the others got it. I wonder lots of things.

Answer 4

I had to do a long research paper on this in high school......well "so they say" women become depressed after abortions and feel extreme guilt, but they dont let others know their feelings, so the people in your family who got the abortions are probably thinking the same things but since it was their baby it's a lot more emotional for them so they try to avoid the subject. And its perfectly normal to think of what they wouldve looked like and so on, its just like if your nephew died at a very young age, you wouldve wondered what they wouldve been like and the choices and expierences that wouldve happend. Even though it was "only a fetus" it still had the potential to be a life and thats no diffrent than someone you know now so the impact of loosing them would be the same, well of coarse a little less intense since you know other people well and have gone thru things with them but I think you get it.As for forgeting, just like any other loss of life theres nothing you can do but give it time or maybe go talk to a pyschologist? they seem to be the most help when noone else wants to talk about it.

Answer 5

I have never had an abortion, and I never would either. When a woman has an abortion she does not actually get to see the baby. Usually it is early enough that it is just a mass of tissue and it does not all come out at once anyways. I am sure they do not look at it either. Probably just lay there and have it done and then go home like nothing. If they thought about it as being a baby they probably would not have had an abortion to begin with.

Answer 6

It stays on your mind because you still have a conscience that hasn't been hardened. You know intuitively that every abortion kills a baby, and that rightfully bothers you. It might help to fully educate yourself on this issue:

Photos of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Pro-Life Answers to Pro-Choice Arguments:
http://www.deathroe.com/Pro-life_Answers/
http://www.pregnantpause.org/abort/choicarg.htm

A Comparison of Abortion and Other Historical Genocides:
http://www.blackgenocide.org/abortion.html

Often, post-abortion regret and trauma doesn't surface until 10 or more years after the abortion was committed. If your family members should at some point need post-abortion counseling, I recommend http://www.healinghearts.org

Take care.

Answer 7

Well, I had one and I am not proud of it...and it tore me up emotionally. I was depressed for some months. I told my friends that I was having it done, but we came to an understanding that it would never be spoken about again. Although, it appears that you family members don't think about it THEY DO...I think about it often, but for the most part- I try to block it out. I have fought the urge to look at a calender and figure out what the baby's due date would have been...and at times I wonder if I aborted the little boy that I desperately want one day. I guess this is something that I will have to deal with one day when I get married and have other children (I already have a little girl).

Answer 8

Things like that you never forget and although they seem to never think of it, they probably do...When you do think of things like that also think of the reasons why they got the procedure done in the beginning...If she had the baby and the father wasn't there for it? What if she had the baby but financially wasn't ready for it? Would she still be able to work and go to school if she had the baby? There are many reason women chose not to have a baby after getting pregnant and when you think of the cute little things like what would it's name would have been or think of how you would have been a great auntie you also have to think of the negatives and just hope that it was the best decision they made.

Answer 9

A person that has had an abortion will always remember it. Maybe they don't want to discuss it because it is a hard thing to talk about. Their situation may have been that they didn't have had any other choice but to have an abortion. You might not know all the circumstances involving the reason for the abortion.

Answer 10

I'm sure they think about it, but they don't talk about it because if they do people might tell them that if it bothers them that they should not have had it done. I don't personally believe in abortion myself either, but I also know women that have and I know that it does stay on their minds...especially when they get older and have children. They wonder if their kids would have gotten along, or if they have a miscarriage when they are trying they wonder if the abortion/s that they had were responsible.

Answer 11

That is a really good question, because people who have abortions are only thinking of themselves. I think you just have to forgive them for what they thought they had to do, and maybe someday they will have a baby or you will have a baby and it will be right. In the long run you only way to think is that you want the baby to have the best life and if the parents couldn't give them that then that baby's soul is now up in heaven. Maybe talk to the people who had the abortion and tell them how you feel and maybe they won't be so selfish the next time. It shouldn't be a form of birth control.