my husband is in the army and i before we got married he cheated on me with her. He got so drunk that he doesnt know why he did it. But she texts him to tell him that shes 4 1/2 months and he hide it from me the whole time. We've been trying to have a baby for the past 5 months and nothing has happenend so im really confused. But now im so down and out i dont know what to do. i was supose to give him hes first child but now the one who done him so wrong is going to be the one to give him his first child. I love him with all my heart. I need some help advice on what is the best thing for me to do.
2006-08-10 04:39:15 · 24 answers · asked by scott m 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
be strong and stand by him is the best thing to do. Don't let this situation end your relationship. If the child is indeed his you should welcome the child with open arms. There's no need to start any confusion since I'm assuming you have already forgiven him and moved on. Move forward. Life is too short to dwell on old wounds.
2006-08-10 04:47:16 · answer #1 · answered by donise225 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that is a hard and my friend and I had talked about the same thing last night first off I think you should leave because he cheated It doesn't matter how drunk he was why were the two of them togother all drunk and then on to top it off the pregnant I couldn't handle that. I would leave because next time what is his excuse going to be. I just could take that and see and the baby all the time would hurt me even more and how that you are married you think he won't do it again. That is a hard one but If that was me I couldn't stay you want to have kids togother and now he all ready has one on the way well good luck
2006-08-10 16:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear about what happened- however once a cheat alwayz a cheat- if he says he was drunk- what about the next time he goes out drinking- in a marriage their must be trust- he hid it from you-which means he did not want you to find out. he will alwayz be connected to this woman now regardless. You entered a marriage based on lies & deceipt. the marriage can be annuled...
You deserve better- if this child was conceived before you met him-then let it be- learn & move on.... if not -seek some counselling for both of you- it may break your heart but your heart is already breaking.. be strong...if it was the other way around before you married-his butt would be dumped... or the other way around if you had cheated on him.
the stress that you have been going through will not let you get pregnant- but don't have a child with this man and your marriage unsteady at this time..
2006-08-10 12:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by bugz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no women deserves to be treated this way maybe you need to make sure that the baby is he's first and then take it from there but if you feel that you can't trust him well maybe you need to decide if this is what you want maybe he may cheat on you again and maybe he want . There is no excuse that he was drunk he still did it why was he in her company if he truely loved you? You need to consider all your oppition's don't ever let a man treat you like this you deserve to be respected andmaybe the reason why you can't fall pregnant could be you need to get your tubes cleaned or stress in another reason as well out go to your doctor for advice but before you have a baby make sure if this is the life you want to bring a chils into this relationship. i wish you all the best i know what your going through i've been there two
2006-08-10 11:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, this man lied, used you, and crushed your dreams. You love him, I know. But can you honestly say that he loves you as much in return? And then lied to you some more by not telling you as soon as it happened. He is crushing your dream and you deserve better. He cheated on you before you even said I do! To me that's worse than cheating after because he doomed your relationship from the beginning. Take it from someone who knows and has gone through the same thing,"Once a cheater, always a cheater!" Take your love and find a MAN to give it to. A MAN who will give you the relationship and the child and the RESPECT that you deserve. But I'm ranting. Before you do anything, pray to God about it and ask him for answers. He will help you if you put your life in his hands.
2006-08-15 14:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Christy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is alot wrong here. Lying, deceit, anger, heartbreak. I don't think you should be bringing a child into this. And you said you were suppose to give him his first child by now? What is that? Did you sign a contract? You don't have to do anything.
I'm a dude. I know dudes. Let me tell you this. If a guy cheates on you; he will do it again. If a guy lies to you; he will do it again. If a guy will deceive and hide things from you; he will always do it.
Love based on these things is not love. I think you have alot to think about. Dominated by the fact you want to bring a child into this. Think about that child and the home it will be apart of.
2006-08-10 12:12:03 · answer #6 · answered by Ron B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds liek you are leading my life...first thing you need to do is decide whether or not you are going to stay with him. If you decide to stay you need to let him know that you forgive him, and are willing to stand by him through the whole thing. And stand by him with the decision that he makes as to whether or not he is going to be in theid baby's life. You also need to tell him that he needs to have a dna test done to prove its his baby. If its not...then he's off the hook...if it is his..then you need to arrange child support. I felt the same way that you did...I was supposed to give him his first child...I was having trouble getting pregnant...he seemd to think it was him...all along knowing that he had another child out there (I found the legal papers that she was going for child support) which is how I found out. I finally got pregnant, then lost the baby...made me feel even worse. We now have a healthy baby boy. He has nothing at all to do with the other child only to pay child support. That was all his choice...the child was conceived from a one night stand, and he feels no attachment whatsoever. Hang in there...the other woman has to prove that its his first. I totally feel for you.
2006-08-10 12:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The drunk excuse doesn't cut it. Why was he with her if he was dating you? I feel sorry for you. It's not a situation that I would wish on anyone. He will be responsible for child support for the next 18 years if he is in fact the child's father. He needs to request a DNA test to make sure he isn't being set up. Good luck.
2006-08-10 11:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by yamaha bassman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes, tough one only you can answer. Can you forgive and forget? If it was me, I'd ditch him and start over with someone else. Her having his forst kid is unforgiveable (besides the fact that he cheated). He will be tied to her for the rest of his life, that sucks. That's a lot of baggage to have to deal with. I'd want a fresh start with someone that doesn't cheat, and don't believe the whole drunk thing. Drunkeness only makes you say and do what you really wanna do when you are sober but don't have the nerve to do.
2006-08-10 11:48:12 · answer #9 · answered by curious_maya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should get a divorce...I mean thats what I would do. How can you stay with a person if you dont trust them and they betrayed you in the worst way of all? I understand that you love him, but he horribly disrespected you and the union of your marriage. Think about this, if you decide to stay with him, how's your marriage going to be like? Are you actually going to be happy? Or, are you going to be worried that every time he has one or two beers it could led to infidelity, yet again. I hope that you do what's best for yourself and your happiness.
2006-08-10 13:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by Katherine A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋