I feel let down and disappointed by my church?

Question

Lately I have not been all that happy with my church and I know I cant just up and leave because God has me there for a reason and I will be relocating in November anyway and my husband is a deacon.

What are ways that I can make the most of every moment at this church without "wishing the time away"

The church is a small church of needy people that constanly require need and expect us to constantly give, yet they dont give in return, I am NOT talking about money but there is a lack of fellowship and there are too many indians but not enough cheifs meaning for that there are only a very small amount of people that are stable and have jobs and I feel like I have no one to relate to.

When my husbands grandpa died no body (expect the pastor) bothered to call us and see how we were and no body sent a card and that really hurt us it was like no one cared but when they needed rides we were always there for them even in an emergency, yet not one ministed to us.

Answer 1

I would like to know what church you belong to? Does the pastor preach, anointed of God?

There have been times in the past where others in the church didn't acknowledge me. There have been times where others had cut me off. But the Lord had delivered me from much at my church, a non-denominational bible faith church. The pastor's message always blesses me. Also, worship service is wonderful.

I go alone to church, since my husband doesn't believe. So, others may observe me as a loner. I have come to know there are other wall-flowers in the church, that are looking for christian friendship. The wall-flowers need to realize God wants to dance with them. God thinks we are beautiful. What matters is what God thinks.

Others, are at a different place in their spiritual walk than you. Ask God to fill this need that you have. He may be asking you to start a ministry to address this lack of communication or encouraging one another. It is written that we are to pray for each other & encourage one another. Forgive one another.

Writes, like God wants to bring up the people in your church, out of the depression that they are in. Maybe get prayer groups started, so people can get to know each other in the spirit. Pray for every ones needs including your own.

When I have asked for christian friends, God gave me prayer partners.

Disappointment needs to be overcome. Encourage yourself in the Word of God. Praying out loud God's promises.

Finally, thank God this is an opportunity for you to grow & mature in your faith in God.

Answer 2

You should be what you wish they were. Perhaps take the initiative? Maybe you could start a visitation committee. Call up a dozen of the people who you wish would get a little more involved and invite them to a little potluck social with the express purpose of improving the church's outreach/visitation ministry. Ask them if they wish there was a better outreach, then make them part of the solution. Set up a rotating list of the willing people at the meeting and find someone to administrate it when you guys have to relocate. Then when there is a death, or hospitalization, serious illness, or someone just doesn't show up for a couple weeks, these people can be prepared and involved.

Sometimes people just need a little leadership and encouragement to get off their duffs :)

I'm the worship leader at a small church and we certainly run into the same thing now and then, but as people take something on, they go around and recruit help, and you'd be surprised how many people will get themselves involved at least a little and help everyone do a better job of being good neighbors and Christians.

Answer 3

Sadly you will find that your church is not the only church like this… It is sadly a common problem: or so I have found over the last 22 years.

People are people… and though being ‘Christian’ should make a difference in peoples lives/characters… many times it does not: they are still selfish… self centred… takers rather than givers… ministry rather than ministers etc, etc, etc… & like you and I: sinners saved by Grace!!

At the end of the day…We go to church though to meet & fellowship with God… to give Him praise & worship in His house… we are not there for the social group, to win friends, catch the latest gossip etc… So to make your time there easier until you relocate and hopefully find a spiritual home where your happy… just go in with the attitude of just that…your there to Praise God … close off the world around you and concentrate on Him… not always easy I know… but better than getting, angry, upset, bitter, or resentful.

God bless.

Answer 4

Your Church is not the problem , it's the people in the Church . We are supposed to be like minded and support each other and to think like Christ . We are supposed to be one body , all of us knit together to make up the body and Christ is the head . People have gotten so far away from the Scriptures to do their own traditions that they think they are doing the right thing when in fact they deceive themselves . Continue to seek Christ properly and do what you were told to do in the Scriptures . Pray for them and help them till you move away . 1st Thessalonians 5:17 . Edify them in any ways you can . Fellowship with them and be there for them . Okay , they want help , but don't give any in return . You will be blessed by God for all your good deeds . Matthew 7:1 They will be convicted if they are doing wrong . God could be testing you to see how you will act toward them . James 5:9 . I hope this helps you and may God bless you and your family .

Answer 5

Many people go to a certain "church" because they were born into it. But is that really a good reason to stay there. If your spiritual needs are not being met, then it is time to find something else.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2003/12/1/article_02.htm

I am going to also include a link to some questions that discuss finding the true religion... if nothing else, it is good to compare what the Bible says and how our religion is doing in comparison.
Notice point #3 especially.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/rq/article_13.htm

I am so sorry to hear about your experience w/ your husbands grandpa. That really is hurtful, especially when you go out of your way to demonstrate love and empathy for others, and then they don't reciprocate that love when you need it.
Empathy was definitely lacking on their part.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/4/15/article_01.htm

Answer 6

Hmm, the more I read about other churches, the more impressed I am by those who have an organized system resembling the original Church of Jesus Christ. I would think as a Mormon that you would be interested in learning more about what the Relief Society does, and what Priesthood functions are. Have a great day and good luck.

Answer 7

It is good that you distinguish the church from the religion.
You may get a great deal out your religion and yet your
church may be filled with ... well, anyone who might
walk off the street.

November isn't that far away... Perhaps you can compile
a list that nobody other than your husband ever sees of things
that are wrong with this church that you can learn from.

Answer 8

If we do not give with our whole heart, we are not giving at all. When a gift is given, it no longer belongs to the giver and no response is necessary...not even thank you. What you are seeking is not fellowship but validation. It just won't happen. Those that have been helped actually resent the fact you can do it....if it were examined. Prayer is...God's will be done. Try it in connection with truly giving to God with no expectations of response.

Answer 9

what does your church teach? do they teach and preach jesus christ? some churches dont have good leadership and they dont know how to get the message across to their congrgation.sometime it is a result of spiritual immaturity.do you stay in the word of god at your church?jesus way is the right way and as long as you and your husband do what is right,even when you feel you have been wronged god will reward you.you cant change everybody else,just pray for them.continue to do good and remember god is a rewarder of those that dilentgy seek him.i pray in the name of jesus that your church congregation will have a change of heart. that they shaLL REMEMBER THE LORD SAID TO REJOICE WHEN THEY REJOICE AND TO WEEP WHEN THEY WEEP.I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO LEAVE YOUR CHURCH,YOU ARE LEAVING ANYWAY,but like you said you are there for a reason and a season.be stong in the lord and the power of his might.standfast and be unmovable,love those that spitefully use you.god bless

Answer 10

Sometimes people go through periods of hurt and suffering. It's just a part of life. Don't feel like nobody cares because nobody was there to console you. To always be and do for people is a good thing, but to expect them to do the same for you, is not always the path to go. Especially when you expect it. You should do good for God, not for yourself. I'm sure people cared, but they have things they have to worry about in life too, and maybe for most of them, what happened to you was just not as important as their problems. Praying for you and God Bless!