My bf has smoked since he was 14, and about a month after we started going out, I asked him to lighten up on it. He was smoking a full carton a day. He listened, and immediately dropped to only half a carton a day. I got him down to 2 packs a day, and then he quit cold turkey, for me. Well, two weeks ago, he started smoking again, and I only found out two days ago. He's 24, and I'm afraid at the rate he has smoked all his life, I'm gonna lose him. I don't want him smoking now, because he's already smoked more than most people smoke all their lives. He's playing with his life, and I hate it. I can't talk to him... because he doesn't understand. Is there anyway I can get him to stop? Am I doing the right thing trying to get him to stop? PLEASE HELP!!
2006-08-10 03:34:49 · 9 answers · asked by Tiffy Triangles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
About the keeping him away from places where there's smoke, that's a problem. He owns a bar, so as you can imagine, he's around a lot of smoke. He's there almost 24/7. I've never told him that he CAN'T smoke.. he quit for the first time on his own, and got VERY abusive during that time. I love him and won't leave him just because of the smoking, but it really bothers me. It's not the actual smoke, but it's knowing that with ever cigarette, he's dwindling down the limit on his life. That kills me. We want kids bad, and I want them to have a father, and not lose him because of smoking. Plus, the fact that I don't want him smoking around me when I get pregnant, because I dont want to take ANY chance of anything happening to them.
2006-08-10 04:01:37 · update #1
There's probably nothing you can do. My dad smoked, then quit and then went right back to it..... till he died.
2006-08-10 03:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my bf recently quit smoking, but he often quits and starts again. I would say if your bf is not fully committed to breaking the habit it will be very hard from him to keep from smoking. I suggest you let him know that even though you worry a lot about his health that you accept that he is a smoker, at least this way he doesn't feel like he needs to hide from you. Its a sucky habit, but he needs to be the one to make the decision. If he wants to try to quit again, you can do what you can to help him, maybe suggest he try the patch or the gum, or try to help him avoid situations where he is used to smoking a lot, (like in my bf's case, the bar) also my bf has been buying boxes of popsicles and eating several a night to distract himself from smoking. Hope this helps, good luck.
2006-08-10 10:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by Caroline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A carton a day????? Do you have any idea how much that is? That is 200 cigarettes, who has time to smoke that much in a day? WOW. Anyway, my advice is: you cant stop him from smoking and you cant make him quit, he has to do it for himself. Just be supportive and I hope things work out for you. Its a nasty habit... as a smoker myself I know how hard it is to kick it.
2006-08-10 10:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never smoked, but I know people who do... It is a really hard habit to break...
Talk to him and try some alternative methods like Nicorette and the Commit lozenge. Ask if he's willing to TRY because you're worried about his well-being.
Do what you can and support him through this tough time. Try to keep the stress down when you're around him, because stress is a trigger for smokers. I know this from observation. o:
2006-08-10 10:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by Slippers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to want it for himself. You have to understand that quitting smoking is very hard. He may get an attitude or gain weight or pick up another habit in its place. Be understanding and talk to him about your concerns, but don't try to control his thinking.
2006-08-10 10:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but it has to be his decision. My fiance smoked for fifteen years and then quit about eight months into our relationship...he did it because he wanted to marry me and didn't want to have smoke around me when we had children or when I was pregnant. YOU can't stop him. It's his choice.
2006-08-10 10:40:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are doing the right thing by asking him but don't make him feel he has to just because you want him too explain to him the dangers it poses to both you and him ( and to a baby if you intend to have any) and let him decide dont try to force him because he will just think you are tryin to control him
2006-08-10 10:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are trying all you can but not hardest as you can so say that you want to go of a date but take him to a first quit center they help my mom and things will get better
good luck
2006-08-10 10:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by Dina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he stops for/by himself, he's not going to stop permenantly. You just can't make him. The only thing you can do is loving him for who he is and hope he stops. If you can't handle that, leave him.
2006-08-10 10:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by justcopyandpaste 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋