...he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
2006-08-10 03:13:15 · 10 answers · asked by MissBehave 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry”.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
2006-08-10 03:14:57 · update #1
put it there
now lets really hit the fan
give us one about Allah
God said
ALLAH come forth
He came FIFTH and was DISQUALIFIED
2006-08-10 09:08:31 · answer #1 · answered by itsa o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number 15: When Jesus was riding on the donkey, they placed palms before him. They did not 'palm' his a**.
2006-08-10 10:21:27 · answer #2 · answered by ravynstar0288 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sent this to my world religion teacher at college, not only did he already have it he had a laminated copy he kept in his office at his church, lol.
2006-08-10 10:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by banshee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard that before, and it always give me a good laugh.
LOL :D
2006-08-10 10:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lilo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rofl
2006-08-10 10:21:43 · answer #5 · answered by Darth Vader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was brilliant
2006-08-10 12:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by HHH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it Funny!!!
2006-08-10 10:28:53 · answer #7 · answered by Edsmack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good lol
2006-08-10 10:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by Nutty Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
2006-08-10 10:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the best laugh i have had all morning. Thanks!!!
2006-08-10 10:35:57 · answer #10 · answered by cosmic beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋