He lives with his uncle who is trying desperatly to help him change. It's killing his uncle to see him like this but he doesn't know what to do. He also says he wants to change - did for a little while - now is back to same old ways. Help!
2006-08-10 02:08:51 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He's 18, there is not much you can do.
2006-08-10 02:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said he said he wants to change. Sounds like he needs a reason to change more then just for the sake of changing.
I highly recommend against calling in any government types, like cops. Jail, Prison, Courts, and all that jazz can only make is life worse and screw him up more. I've never seen Prison fix anyone for drinking.
I've never seen Rehab work, but a good rehab (if you can find such a thing) could be 'good'.
Still, you may (or may not) be able to help him outside of rehab.
You need to know why he's drinking. Is it physical addiction? Is it due to bordem? Is it because he's depressed? Does he only drink socially (and therefore drink cause he think's it's better for his social life)?
When you find the reason for his drinking, and it could be a combination of things, then you can address the problem better.
If it's a physical addiction going cold turkey would be really difficult, but once past the difficult phase he may be able to control his urge to drink better.
If it's social drinking: a change in peers (Hard to do for any aged person, even harder for 18+) would help.
If it's bordem: Help him find something else to do!
If it's depression: Help him find a reason to live. Maybe a girlfriend, or religion, or both... or a project... or volenteer work.
Find the reason for the drinking, and well... Go from there.
I wish I could suggest more. However, addictions are not usually simple to take care of matters.
2006-08-10 09:27:06 · answer #2 · answered by My Two Cents 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well where I come from, 18 is a legal age to drink and smoke, I don't know how it is elswhere in the world?
However, it isn't nice to see people consumed by alcohol, especially the ones you care about. I would say if he just likes his drink, and isn't depressive or violent, then don't be too worried. If in a permanent state of intoxication, and not seeming like he's having a good time atall, then seek some sort of advice or help.
Sorry if thats not very informative, but hope he is well, and stays well.
2006-08-10 09:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to open up to him and show him that you love him and that its really hurting you inside to see him like that.You have to show him that there is alot of other ways to be happy besides drinking and smoking, but in order for that you must be willing to listen to what he says.You need to offer him comfort and let him know that you will do whatever it takes to help him.Before you talk to him about his problem or making a change act like things are normal and see what his interest are because that can be the key to everything.Why can it be the key? It can be the key because once you know what his interest are you can use that to keep him busy and filling his drinking time with his brand new hobby.I know this because it helped me stay away from drugs and alcohol.If it doesnt work then you must show tough love and find some sort of intervention drug program for him.
2006-08-10 09:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by David A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should move out if his uncle doesn't like his behavior. But he's 18, there isn't much you can do. It isn't serious enough for rehab, and he was probably just giving his uncle lip service by telling him he wanted to change. Kids do that, you know.
2006-08-10 09:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very hard on family all round. My advice go get some counselling for yourselves. Maybe you'll be given some positive actions to help this guy even though he don't want the help at present. When they don't want the help you just gotta keep feedin' good sense in there, cause it does go in, then be there for when it all comes undone for him. Also be careful not to co-enable him in his addictions, make a stand that you will not help him self-destruct. So that means no money for stuff, no taking him to get stuff, do not allow him to do it in front of you or in your house out of respect for you. Tough love on him, because you care for him. Wishing you all the best!
2006-08-10 09:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by Ms CMP5260 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
smokes what? I know someone who was an alcoholic and a pot head, he was sent to a hospital for rehab for two months and he is currently attending alcoholics anonymous, and he is looking so much better, he has put on weight and it's great to have him back like he was before he got into this mess
2006-08-10 09:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The funny thing about people is they usually don't change unless they truly want to, and even then in my short experience it's highly unlikely. It takes a lot of determination to change and the only person that can help him change is himself.
2006-08-10 09:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow some usefull answers so far that i bet u hadnt thought of lol
1. why is he doing it
2. wheres all the money coming from
1. if hes just being a grown up.. lol, not too much you can do, unless you threaten to kick him out, otherwise maybe he has some problems, you can talk to him about.
2. does he have a job? is he stealing money from someone, if you can stop his money flow, he cant do it anymore.
2006-08-10 09:26:03 · answer #9 · answered by yeah well 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 18 years old and responsible for his own actions now...I know this may sound harsh, but, TOUGH LOVE. Let him go and make the mistakes and hopefully learn from them.
2006-08-10 09:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋