What can a girl do?

Question

Hi,

My friends have booked two tickets for me and a male "friend" to go on holiday together we have known each other for years and I'm kinda shy and reserved however he says he loves me but I'm not sure.

My friends expect me to go abroad with him and kinda take it further what do you think I should do? I'm very happy but at the same time worried he is a great guy but I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship with any man

The whole gift thing from my friends was meant to be a surprise but I knew they were up to something with all the little hints dropped they have tried to set us up for a long time, is that a good thing in your eyes?

Thanks,
Jessica xx

Answer 1

it will happen if its right but dont be pushed

Answer 2

dont really think anyone can answer that one for you lady. You must have some kind of idea yourself about what you think and feel for this chap?
You sound scared that if you do anything, it will make what you have at the minute redundant or put it at risk. On the other hand, you also sound scared of taking the risk to find out if he can make you really happy. You've known him a while, you're good friends and you trust him. In my opinion, and it is only that, I'd go for it. If he's truly a good friend, even if it doesn't work out for you both, then you know that he'll be there for you still as a mate. At the end of the day, there's no point in waiting around, you sometimes have to grab life (or mates) by the short and curlies and tell it what you want. Goin through a similar thing myself at the minute, we go on holiday in a week! Be positive, be honest and dont take any sh1t, thats probably the best advice.
Hope it works out for you, one way or another.
By the way, you're a doctor? what do I do about this rash...?

Answer 3

Aren't you lucky to have friends who care that much? It seems that they mean well doesn't it? I'm sure they do too.

I think you must thank them for their thoughtfulness and go, if it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable. You can talk to the person they set you up with and explain that you do think they are nice but that you really aren't ready for what they have on offer. Ask them to look at it as an opportunity for a well-earned break with some good company thrown in. You might even enjoy yourself.

Also, it seems that your friends care for you great deal, and often friends can see things that you can't. Perhaps they misread your liking for this person as something more, but what's the worst that can happen. The person you go with can;t force you to do anything that you don't want to do.

I really think that having a conversation with him before you go and tell him straight that you just want to have a pleasant time without any kind of romantic interlude on the cards. It would be best to be direct about it before you set off.

bon voyage

S
x

Answer 4

Hi Jessica, Well i have been in lots of situations like that and the thing is your friends really think they are helping you, but beleave me and i think you all ready know this, cus you look like a smart girl,..... if this was meant to be, you wouldnt need your friends constantly trying get u2 together for ages, it would of happend by now. The sad thing is, that if you do go thru with the holiday i think there is going be so much awquardness there, simply because he clearly wants to take things further, commitment etc. Your 24, your my age, well im 25, you shouldnt be stressing, you shud be avin fun. You look like loadsa fun, hey, if he doesnt end up goin id love to come.. LOL where you goin?

Answer 5

Woooow ,steady down girl. You haven't felt the need to develop this relationship before so what's changed? You don't have to live up to your friends expectations you know. You say you aren't sure if you are ready for a relationship which suggests to me you know you are not deep down. Go on holiday, have a great time with your friends but don't leap into anything you feel uncomfortable with.
Good Luck and enjoy yourself
xx

Answer 6

First thing: Be honest with the guy, let him know the score so he doesn't get his hopes up, then a case of icicle pants later.

Personally if this happened to me and I wasn't into the person in a romantic sense then I probably wouldn't go. I'd feel that I was leading the other person on by going on holiday with them.

If you're not up for being set up tell your mates to leave it, it's your life.

If you like him, and would like to see what happens, then go, but he'll probably be expecting something.

If you don't want anything to happen make this clear to the guy, then ask him if he still wants to go.

If nothing's ever going to happen with this guy don't go. Going will only give him false hope.

Answer 7

Its great that your friends are trying to help you find 'the one' but i think things should slow down... to the point of just going out with him on a date.

I mean.. a date is only a few hours long and if you really do like him, you can stay a little bit longer and take on that lovely holiday~

However, if he turns out to be someone that you don't really like all... going on a holiday with 'him only' may make situations long-wounded and worst, get you into unnecessary trouble eg. staying in the same room... you know what is gonna happen even if you don't wanna be with him in the first place. someone's gonna get hurt unless no one minds having a romp.

Answer 8

Whoa! If you say you're not ready, then why would you want to find yourself thousands of miles away with this someone? Why can't you continue to explore the possibilities nearer to home where you can be yourself and take your time? Sounds like too much pressure to "push this along". If you do go, make sure you have your one-way ticket nearby at all times in case things go sour and you want to make a quick getaway. I do wish you luck and hope it works out the way your heart hopes it does.

Answer 9

As a guy, I would feel uncomfortable letting my girlfriend's friends send us on a trip. That is something that the two of us would agree upon and plan together or it wouldn't happen.

Sounds like there is a lack of clarity concerning your relationship. Personally, I wouldn't find out where I stand by going on a trip, but that's just me.

Answer 10

How nice of them to do such a thoughtful thing ... not!
OK so it's good they think about you and your "friend" but to play Cupid in such a way ...
Ask the "friend" to get his opinion - then go anyway because it's a free holiday! You don't have to spend all the time in bed with him do you? It could be a wonderful experience and you may find he's the man of your dreams.

Ouch! I've got splinters in my a** from sitting on this fence!

Answer 11

I would say no! shouldn't go to far with a man who you did not sure, and to begin a good relationship does not need to go away from people or only two of you! try to make him to love what's around you, so you relationship with last long!