i don't want to but our daughter would like mummy amd daddy to have the same name. i don't like the idea of being married as every one i know is now divorced so here i am asking for your advise. Thanks
2006-08-09 23:47:54 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Tom, you won't be happy unless you truely want to be married. Having the same doesn't mean a whole lot now a days. Marry only if you are truely ready..............in your heart.
2006-08-10 02:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by shizzlechit 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have to say that is the dumbest reason I have ever heard not to get married. It sounds like you are already acting like a married couple maybe its time you just do the right thing and tie the knot. If you love this woman and this child why wouldn't you? If I was her I would have thrown you the the curb already (but I am not and I am a guy). It sounds to me you have what I am jealous I do not. Don't blow perfectly good and loving relationship because of what might happen. End the relationship now then so you daughter can know now that when it comes to important things daddy is a coward. Be the man and marry her mom - a woman who loves you enough to have a child with you and has stuck with you now for six years.
2006-08-09 23:56:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you say she's pestering you should be enough to know you are not ready. Marriage is a life time committment and you don't want to get married and end up breaking up a year later, isn't better to have two parents who live together and love each other instead of divorced parents who got married and split a year later for the sake of the surname or even the child? I'm not in any way suggesting the marriage won't work but if you're not ready for it is it really worth the risk? Good luck x
2006-08-09 23:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Don't base everything you believe off what others are doing. Divorce rates now days are high, but that doesn't mean you're going to divorce. This, in my opinion, is only a look at the mentality of American commitment.
2) She wants to get married. Talk to her! You may not like the idea, but you're not the only one in the relationship. Be honest, and be open to what she has to say. If you go into a discussion with a closed mind, nothing is going to get accomplished.
Have an adult talk--be mature and keep the tone low. Don't let either one of you walk away upset. Work out this problem as a COUPLE.
2006-08-10 04:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, just because everyone else you know is divorced, why does that follow that that is the way your marriage would end up? If you want the marriage to work, then it will work. I somehow get the feeling that there is another reason why you don't want to marry. If both your daughter and your girlfriend want it and you love them both dearly then go for it. If not, and you really do not want to make that commitment, then don't. But don't be surprised if your girlfriend dumps you because you are afraid to make the ultimate commitment to her. For a woman, marriage also signifies security. I expect your girlfriend is afraid you might leave her as a single mum. All the advice in the world won't really help as this is one decision that only you can make. Good luck!
2006-08-10 01:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell are you afraid of??? I can never understand people who have kids together and then say that they're not ready for the commitment of marriage. The commitment of having children together is a commitment that is so much bigger than getting married.
If she wants to get married then you should seriously consider it and I don't think that it will be that detrimental to you if you do. If you have kids, there is so much more involved than just you worrying about the fact that you might end up divorced. Considering the current nature of your relationship (ie you have kids together), the considerations for if you separate should be the same regardless of whether you are married or not (but getting out of the marriage just involves a bit more paper work).
If you weren't serious about your relationship with your girlfriend and didn't intend to commit to her, why the hell did you have kids with her???
2006-08-10 02:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the righht thing for yout girfriend and your baby girl and marry her, You love her do you? She has been patient and she has paied her dues. Six years a long time to wait for a commitment and she deserves it.
Do you want your daughter to folow your example an linger around until she is old waiting for someone that thinks she is just not deserving of commitmentment? Think about it.
Buy her an engagement ring. That would buy you sometime.
Be a gentleman for your girlfrienf and your baby gir, You will make two beautiful ladies very happy. It's time to make it official, and you know it.
Good luck
2006-08-10 02:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the only reason you don't want to get married is cause everyone you know are divorced it's not good enough,you can't live your life according to other peoples mistakes,however if it's cause you don't want things to change and that's what you're scared of then fair enough,find the true reason by asking yourself questions then decide,don't get married just cause she wants it,it's got to be a two way thing!
2006-08-10 02:01:41 · answer #8 · answered by lushnut 69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your like my bf!! he doesnt see the point in getting married coz of all the divorces! Have you ever told your gf that you dont want to marry and are not the marrying type? If you dont want to, then dont! If your living together and have a daughter, marriage doesnt seem as important. plus think of the expenses!! do what you feel you need to do. if you are totally against the idea and are stubborn, ten dont do it! x
2006-08-09 23:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The divorce rate here in America is 50/50. So unless you are positive you will stay married to this women and forgive her for all the mad things she may do. Do not get married. I am so sick of people getting married then realizing they don't love thier partner anymore. I am also sick of people putting their children in the middle of it all. Love your daughter. If you can give her a pleasant home then do it. Don't be pestered into getting married.
2006-08-10 02:46:05 · answer #10 · answered by Bears#1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you ready for marriage? If not, don't. Don't assume marriages lead to divorces. You need lots of tolerance to stay married. Imagine even siblings have fights too and so once married, always love your better half and the word "divorce" should not even be thought of. Tolerate and enjoy the beautiful partnership. Never have grudges against one another and every single sweet thing she does, be thankful.
2006-08-10 00:16:30 · answer #11 · answered by j t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋