How should parents give more time to their kids?

Question

Since both of us are working and quite busy, I feel that we are not giving enough time to our kids. They alway complain that they miss us (ages 5 & 3) and they are very stubborn and naughty. Both of us most of the time end-up shouting at them due to their stubborn behaviour.

Answer 1

It is extremely important to spend time communicating with your kids. Specialists recommand to spend at least 20 minutes a day communicating with your kids. Attention: communicating not interogating. You will find a subject that would draw their attention. The attachment they develop now to you will be the base for your relationship when they'll grow. If you don't pay attention to this they will lose the bond with you and especially the respect for you. It's true, it happened to me when I was a kid. Graduatelly, due the lack of communication, I started to see my parents as strangers and lost my respect for them.
Here are some tips that might come in handy to get in touch with them with all the busy schedule.
- kids at this age (5&3) like stories. not necesarily bed time story, but they like hearing funny moments from your life. this is probably a reason kids bond a lot with grandparents, because they have a lot of things to talk about.
- kids like trips. when you get a chance leave the town even for 1-2 days and go visit something. carefull: don't go somewhere boring, or for adult fun. that will transform the joy of the trip in a torture for them
- find a social game you can play together in weekends. for example, i liked monopoly, and i always liked when the adults were having fun playing with us
- if your kids like videogames learn how to play with them. usually , 10 minutes of competing in wich they can beat you at their favourite videogame is a good memory
- encourage them to play a sport and be the first to give them the propper training. once they can handle it and play it with other kids will leave you alone and free some of your time with them
- encourage them to eperiment cooking if they like it. they will have time, and will have them net to you while youre preparing lunch and you'll be able to have a few words with them. don't get angry for a few stains! :)
- try to explain them when you're having a hard time. they will understand with propper explanation
- don't be shy playing with them some kids games like spaying yourself with water guns. and don't do it on a serious tone. so what if the neighbours see you; your kids will apreiate it
- a nice game of tickling at the right moment will begreat. carefull.. only at the right moments
- let them play on your presence. so what if youll have lots of toys and puppets in your workroom. they will be next to you and you'll be able to take a toycar from time to time and wruuuuummm with it :)
- do stuff that makes them proud of their parents. you know how they like to say.."my dad can ride a bike better than your dad". or "my dad is the best fishermen in the world" :P
- brag them for the good things they do to somewhene else when they're listening. and slow down with to much critics
- help them with their school projects. helping them make a home made vulcano will help you get closer with them

Most of the things i've mentioned here cand be done "on the run" or in weekend and holydays so your should handle at least some of them. Take some time of your work and give it to them. I'm telling you, there's no point in assuring them a good financial background if they will be very distant with you and develop a bad behaviour. It's better with less money and more spirit. And a final advice: make the difference between making them feel good and spoiling them. Spoiling is not good.

Hope this helps! I widh my parrent would have done these things.

Answer 2

I can answer this question with first hand expeirence on both ends I grew up in day care or baby sitters my whole life until I begged to be left home alone at 8 years old after that my sister 2 years older than me and myself were at home alone most of the day we both were flunking out of school by tyhe age of 12 and had attitude problems but this was our way of crying for attention from our parents I still resent them for this and am now 23 with 2 kids of my own and have chosen to be a stay at home mom by the way how dare you label your children as stubborn and naughty any problems you preseive them as having is due to your lack of parenting skills it'll probably piss you off to hear it and I have never insulted anyone like this before but your questions brings me back to my childhood wich I remember mostly as lonely and sad I felt I had no guidence however you make time for them always make it quality time ban yelling from your house
and tv while you and the kids are together my boys are 2 and 6 so I know how hard parenting is you need to truly appreciate your children,and know their entire world revolves around when you come home and when you yell or tell them they are bad they beleive it they beleive they are nothing and have no one. At this age all their love and comfort comes from you and when you don't give it to them they will feel empty, beleive me day care and baby sitters even family members don't even come close to giving your children what you can, its not too late to turn it around their only wish is for your time, I hope you will grant them that.

Answer 3

You know this is a big problem specially if you both are working and doesn't have for your kids, specialy with their age, one of you should be with them. They are on the stage of growing up, developing and starting to learn and see things. They need a guidance from the parents, you both dont need to be with them, one isenough and even if you are busy, you should fine time to play with them. First, you need to make them feel that they are important, check on their behavoiur which is very important, talk to them, teach them guidance. Right now they are still very young but you already have a problem with them, to shout with a 3 or 4 yrs old kids is not good. You are showing them a bad exampe and they will get used to it. For them shouting is the solution in every problem. When they get old they will get this habit both of you will be in a big ****. It's hard to change a person when they are older. Take advantage of their innocence now, change them and make them a good and respctful kid.

If you cant fix the problem, one of you should sacrifice work for a while, my advice is the mother. Spend time with them , playing, reading. G out once or twice a week to the zoo or park, with the whole family. Kids needs more attention specialy at their age. You should have known. Beleive me kids that frows with nanny's or alone with lack of parents guidance ends up nothing but trouble. You wouldn't want that do you?

Work or it will be to late.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like the parents need to grow up and get some parenting skills. It's not the amount of time, it is the quality and I'm guessing there isn't much quality here. Naughty and stubborn?
How about lonesome, sad, missing their parents, hungry, tired, bored, etc. Shouting at them sounds really productive and mature.

Answer 5

Both your kids need attention. Its good that they are smart and intelligent, hence the mischieves.

Children of such age enjoy messing with colors, clay, or any such thing. They also enjoy stories being read out to them. You could also introduce them to some music. The point is you will have to make at least an hour everyday exclusively for them. They should ahve your complete attention in this one hour and you will yourself realize how best to use this hour.

Once they feel they are with you, they will start shaping up themselves with little guidanace from you and you will never need to shout at them.

Answer 6

if this is a really big problem look at your schedule books and work out a time with both kids and pencil a note into your schedule. and try to spend time not spent at work with your kids. since children are a parents responsibility we as parents have to do everyhting we can to give them the love and guidance that they need even if it means telling friends and relatives no and risking them feeling betrayed because after all your children come first

Answer 7

Your kids are young and need most of your time.Go to a picnic and carry a ball to play in the field, come up with such outdoor activities n create time, that way they will have a father figure and mother figure to learn good manners from and stop shouting at them that will make them even naughtier. Teach them.

Answer 8

Take at least 2 hours out of your day to color with them, cuddle with them, play with their toys with them, let them know that no matter how busy you are, you always have time for them. That's how you solve this issue. Even if the dishes need cleaning or laundry is piling up, nothing is more important than our children. I understand the importance of work because you need money, two incomes, to make it these days, the rest of it is not as important. Good luck.

Answer 9

They are probably misbehaving because that is the only way they gain your attention. They just want to have access to you and want to spend time with you. You don't have to have loads of free time on your hands to make it count. It's about making the time you spend with your children quality time. Just sitting with them and talking to them about their day or whatever is on their minds makes a huge difference. They just want to know mom and dad care enough about them to take time out of their busy schedules for them. I know it can be difficult at times after a long day at work, but they are your kids and you must always make time for them no matter what.

Answer 10

WELL, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER THEY ARE SO YOUNG, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T SPEND MUCH TIME W/ THEM, AND THEY JUST WANT YOU TO BE THERE. THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE AND BILLS, AND ALL THEY KNOW IS YA'LL ARE NEVER HOME. I CAN RELATE. I WORK NIGHT SHIFT, 6-6. HE WORKS DAY. FOR A WHILE, WE HAD A VERY HARD TIME, W/ IT. THE KIDS SPENT ALL TIME AT DAY CARE, REALLY. I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT. I TOOKK OUT DAY CARE, NOW I JUST SLEEP FROM 630AM TO ABOUT 1030/1100, THEN I GET UP AND SPEND TIME W/ THEM, TILL TIME FOR ME TO GO IN. I TRY TO PLAN SOMETHING SPECIAL AND FUN FOR THEM EVERY CHANCE I GET ON DAYS OFF, AND SPARE TIME. (PARK, SWIMMING, ...ETC) YOU BOTH JUST HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND WORK OUT NOT ONLY YOUR NEEDS, BUT KIDS' ALSO. B/C EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE BEING TAKEN CARE OF, THEY ALSO NEED TIME W/ MOMMY AND DADDY. EVENTUALLY, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WORK OUT SOME KINDA SCHEDULE THAT INVOLVES GIVING EVERYBODY TIME TO DO WHAT THEY NEED, YET STILL HAVE TIME FOR FUN.