Why do some people use foul language so much when they speak?

Question

I have a friend who uses the f-word constantly as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and interjection when she speaks. Who knew such versatility existed? How can I get her to realize how uneducated and low-class it sounds without offending her? It can really get embarrassing.

Wow, there are a lot of good ideas, and it seems that a number of people experience the same thing. My friend is a sweet, helpful person and a talented musician. She is the fairly recent girlfriend of my significant other's best friend so we spend a lot of time together. She always talked that way. At first I thought it was nerves, but I really think it is just habit and maybe a bit of rebelling to society. I can't decide on a best answer, so will leave it open for a bit and put it to a vote.

Answer 1

Perhaps it's just the way she was brought up. A lot of people are coming to use that word now! It's surprising just how common it really is. And yeah, it can get offensive, I agree!

Just ask her if she has a larger vocabulary, or tell her to attempt to not use that word so much, or ask her to calm down a bit! If I were you, I'd get annoyed, and finally just say, "Is that the best word you can use in any given situation?" I'd be really angry by now, if she really uses it as much as I'm thinking she does.

And yeah, it's a really versatile word. LOL I was actually laughing quite hard at your question, just because of the way you worded the situation. ^_^ Thank you and good luck!

Answer 2

I used to have a very clean mouth...then I went into the military, and it's all I heard. After I got out, I've found what a nasty mouth I have! It's terrible, and I have children too. It's a force of habit. I heard it so much that I started saying it....and it gradually became a habit. Just like any other habit, she'll have to take steps to rid herself of it. The best thing you can do to help her is to simply make her aware of how bad it sounds.

If you have a camcorder, go do something together and tape it, then invite her to watch the video. Either that, or one day just bust out yourself with, what the f*&^ are we going to do today? Usually when someone doesn't curse often, it's obvious when you do b/c people aren't used to hearing it. Your friend should take notice of it, and if she comments, then jokingly say you must have been hanging around her too much. Maybe she'll get the hint.

Answer 3

Any slang seems to have become such common place that I don't think people even realize that it really is trashy sounding and doesn't give one a resonance of education, class, culture, or good upbringing. I'm from a poverty level income, but I don't find that I need the slang to make my point or to express myself adequately. As a matter of fact, I find myself shutting down people when that is their vernacular because I am offended by it and by the time they've so colored their conversation, I've completely lost out on what they were even trying to get across. I wish I knew how to tell you a magical way to get her to hear how it sounds, but unfortunately, it probably wouldn't change anything except your friendship. It's not used in my home, but my 17 year old son has sure picked up his share and I'm after him about it but he tells me that it's so common he doesn't realize it and he works in a "Christian" environment. Makes me sad because our words should set us apart, especially if we are Christians.

Answer 4

You and I must have the same mate - I have a friend exactly the same - her vocabulary is limited to the "F" word and a few other choice nuggets of linguistic charm.

I don't mind so much when it's just her and me, but I cringe when I'm out in public with her because it doesn't seem to serve as a deterrent and I feel embarrased to stand in a queue or something with her while her yap is spewing profanities.

Don't get me wrong - she's a great chick and a lot of fun, and I've been known to drop my p's and q's as well, but I wouldn't dream of using these words around strangers or in public.

I look forward to the responses you get on this one!

Answer 5

Has your friend always talked this way since you met her or did she just start to use foul language. If she has always talked this way, what drew you to her. Even if a person is OK I would be repulsed hearing such language and probably not develop a friendship. She is offending you, why are you concerned about offending her?

Answer 6

They say that you can measure the intelligence of another by how many foul words they use in a sentence.
She needs to see the "types" of people who use that language compared to the "types" who don't. If she just won't see it then maybe you're hanging out with the wrong "type" and should consider a different class of friends.

(sorry not super helpful, but hopefully insightful!) :)

Answer 7

Since she is aware of the many functions of the f word and you didn't perhaps she is the better educated of the two of you and it makes her sound better educated.... hmmm??

Honestly simply accept this is her way of communicating... I tend to swear more when I am tired, worn down, frustrated... or whatever... I do have a brilliant vocabulary but sometimes it seems a waste of good words to say much more than an expletive or two...

Answer 8

while you might consider it vulgar, it does not necessarily mean she will appear uneducated to many people. my grad school professors (who were all highly educated) tended to use the f-word pretty much constantly. likewise, i use it pretty regularly, as do most of my friends and colleagues, and we're pretty well educated. my grandmother, who has a high-school education, never uses the word. anyhow, enough of the anecdotal digression... i think you should just tell your friend that you find the word vulgar and that you would prefer she not use it around you. if she can manage to bite her tongue when she is around you, it might become habit-forming and lead to her using it less, even when she is not with you.

Answer 9

When my husband gets on his F this & F that tirade. I just start repeating him word for word.

Then when I talk or have something to say I use the F word for every other word. Then he stops.

He KNOWS it doesn't sound right.

Good dose of her own medicine MIGHT just do the trick.

Answer 10

For her birthday or the holidays, you could buy her a thesaurus. You can even say to her, ". .. you know, I think I'm going to buy you a thesaurus for your next birthday."

If she asks you what a thesaurus is, just tell her that a thesaurus is a dinosaur who lived a long time ago had a very good vocabulary :)