well my mom is trying to change everything about me and it hurts me but she doens't know that. today i caught her red handed listening to my phone convo with my friend. and she thinks my friends are influencing me..like all the time..but i dont think they do. they're just my friends...why can't she accept the way i dress? and it hurts me when she does something like that. and she thinks that i dress like a slut..well i don't. it's just different from the way she dresses. so what can i do? cause she's been doing this for a while and i'm really sick of it. Help me! or just take me away! do anything! lol..but it really feels like she doesn't love me anymore and i'm kinda starting to hate her for doing all those horrible things to me.
2006-08-09 19:25:36 · 9 answers · asked by wendy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well i'm only 13...
2006-08-10 10:19:21 · update #1
well i'm only 13...and turning 14 in a couple months
2006-08-10 10:20:30 · update #2
Mom's are always trying to control their kids' lives. She still loves you, she just may go at it the wrong way. It is better that she cares about what you are doing than if she were drunk at a bar and trying to pick your future stepfather. Know what I mean?
2006-08-09 19:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by Loc P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI first of all you dont mention how old you are, I am a mother of a 16 yo and even though I pretty much let her dress how she pleases I still monitor what she wears. If you mother buys your clothes negotiate with her on what you buy and come to some sort of agreement on what she finds acceptable, and what you find acceptable and come to some agreement, this may come a long way to resolving the issue with you mother in regards to your friends and what you are doing with you life if you are old enough move out and find your own life but do remember you are in your mothers house and you have to abide by your mothers rules but compramise is a good start.
Wish you the best of luck.
2006-08-10 03:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by ozi_nut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your mom loves you too much, while you need her to loosen her leash on you so you can grow to become more of your own person. It's tough to be a teenage girl under a mother who's got her idea of how you ought to be.
If it's any consolation, it's just a part of growing pain. 'Just tell her that no matter what she does to you or thinks of you, you'll still love her in the end so she might as well just get used to the way you are. (Yell that out! That should open up a dialogue.) Then talk as an adult. None of this "You did this to me...naniania"--typical teenage tandrum. But, talk to her as an adult to adult. Tell her that she did a pretty good job on you, so you won't do anything too stupid with your life, but you do need to learn somethings for yourself. After all, you need to live your life as she should start to live for her own now.
2006-08-10 02:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Princess, am touched by your story. I can understand how you feel now. There's one thing I want you to know. If your mom didn't love you, she wouldn't be worried about you. I used to think so many things about my mother untill I became a mom myself recently. your mom has gone through alot to raise you (leave alone having to give birth to you, she could have had an abortion you know, but she kept you coz you are precious to her). now that you are of age, she worries about you alot. She doesn't want her angel to get into trouble. It was not good for her to listen to your conversation. but this is because you she feels left out. Things could be different if you introduced your friends to her. And please, don't give her reason to believe that your friends are influencing you. If you have nothing to hide, bring your friends home, don't shut her out of your life my dear princess. She loves you. Involve her in your shopping. talk to her when you feel she's not trusting you. Above all you do, don't you ever forget that your friends may be with you, they may cheer you up, tell you everything you're doing is okay, but none of them will EVER love you as much as your mom does. When you get into trouble, deep trouble, your mother will be the most hurt. So my dear, go home, hug your mom and tell her you love her. am sure this will make her shed a tear. 'A family that prays together, sticks together" God bless you.
2006-08-10 02:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by Pearl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your mother is seeing you only through the eyes of her expectations. She is not really seeing who you are - she is seeing who she wishes you were. This is a mistake a lot of parents make.
The only thing you can do is to talk to her about this. Tell her that you understand that you are not who she expected you be. Tell her that you are a different kind of person than what she expected. Tell her that it is okay to be different - that just because you are different doesn't mean you are bad or wrong - it only means you are different.
Tell her that you see that she doesn't approve of you. Tell her it hurts you and makes you sad.
Ask her if she would please find it in her heart to let you choose things for yourself. And then, CHOOSE WISELY!
2006-08-10 02:52:58 · answer #5 · answered by SewHappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd tell her all this and more unless you are afraid of her reaction to your truth. what else can you do with someone close? - just tell them what you think and feel and most important tell her what you want from her! even if she tells you NO, at least you've said what you feel and what you want - what else is there? it's the same in any relationship. you have to tell the other person how you feel and what you want about a bad situation.
2006-08-10 03:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just cares about you. And besides you probably do dress like a slut seeing as how thats what girls seem to look like these days.
2006-08-10 02:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course she loves you because she is tellin you what she thinks is best and is trying to protect you..even though it is something you dont like. you should tell your mom how you feel about the relationship between you two because she loves you and will def. listen to your thoughts. my mom is like that with me too sometimes until i finally told her what was up and she realized that she needed to start giving me space because i was growing up. just tell her what you feel and what you think and tell her that your growing up and your starting to learn how to take care of yourself(unless your really young). good luck.
2006-08-10 03:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by love is everything. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! im 13 and having the exact same problem!!!!! i've got some advice for you, take it from someone who knows wat ur goin through, never and i mean !!!NEVER!!! start cutting or even think about it! trust me i did, and it didn't help anything! just talk to her about it, and if she still acts like that, just try to accept it, for what it is, you may not like it, but dont fight with her, try to explain your reasoning for things, and with the whole frenz thing, that may just have to resolve itself! good luck!
2006-08-12 20:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by pretty in punk! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋