What can I tell him now please?

Question

Why does it my boyfriend see it as a pressure on him when....?
I tell him that I am afraid of loosing him if he goes to work abroad? He said he hasn't got the job yet and I already see it as a problem. He got upset with me because he thinks I want to influence his decision but that's not the case. I just worry about loosing him? Why do men see it so differently? He said that he regrets he told me all about it. I feel bad now. I never meant to come across as a selfish girlfriend but I wanted to find out if he actually considers me? He said I pressure him about it? I am 28. He is 26. We are both living in Europe in 2 different countries already. He would like to go to New York City just to work for a while to see how it is there like. I live alone in my country, he lives in his.. we visit each other once a month.Nothing is for sure but I have noticed that he talks about it a lot. He got angry with me last night for telling him that I worry about loosing him. What should I do now?

Answer 1

Guys don't like insecurity. It's highly unattractive & even bothersome if it's continous & ever nagging. They like happy girls, because they make them happy. Long distance relationships are real tough, I know personally because I live in the USA while my boyfriend lives in Sweden. We havent seen eachother since March & won't be seeing eachother until a few months from now, maybe in september or october. I don't worry about him being unfaithful to me (even though he's swedish & swedes are known for being promiscous) because I know he's into german romanticism & believes in everlasting love.

You already live in a different country than your boyfriend, what difference would it make if he moved a little further away? You could still visit eachother, though it might be a tad bit more expensive & the trip will definitely be longer. Afraid of losing him because he's going to cheat on you? Well, he could be doing that now if you think he's a possible cheater. That he'll lose interest because he hasnt been seeing you? That's not always true, you could spend time in different ways, webcaming & talking on the phone.

You're 28, are you in a hurry to get pregnant? I dont see how age is important in any other way. 26 is a bit young, maybe he's not ready to settle down.

If he really wants to come to New York & work here, how could you interfere with it? Let him go, and if the relationship is not going to continue, so be it, find someone else.

I dont understand why he'd be upset if you only told him once that you were afraid of losing him. He should have said, "you have nothing to worry about, it's just a great opportunity for work." If you kept insisting that you didnt want him to go (in other words nagging) then I see why he would have been upset.

What I would do now, as you, would be to ask him for his honest opinion about myself & to evaluate our relationship & where it's leading. Or what you want he wants from the relationship.

Answer 2

I ahd exactly the same situation.... I lived in London and my boyfriend was also living there, but heading back to California where he was originally from. We had only been dating a couple of months and i thought that i would lose him too, But we called each other every day and after a while we made the decision that i would move to Cal and we are now married with a lovely little girl. He is also younger than me! Don't fret too much. You just have to work a little harder at the relationship and if its meant to be then all will be fine.

Answer 3

There is always the option of going with him. But on another note, if he gets upset merely by you telling him you care about him and you don't want to lose him then he is not understanding or considering your feelings. Just sounds like he doesn't care. Sorry to put it harshly. But do you really want to involve yourself in a relationship in which yur partner gets upset over the fact that you care about him. I'd say let him go. But if that is not an option ask him if you could go with him. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I understand your situation. I think if it is important for him to go to NY then you got to let him go. His anger at your mention that you are afraid that you might loose him may be because he thinks yoiu dont trust him enough... he may reason "can mere distance seperate us". I dont know really, but why dont you suggest that he should take you along...or atleast arrange to visit you often or arrange to take you there after he gets there and settles down. Untill then there's always the phone and the internet. Whatever, I would suggest you to maintain your composure and clearly and openly express your concern to him. Good luck

Answer 5

Let him go because maybe he will come back to you I have an ex that showed up at my door to tell me to tell me he was leaving for Kansas (in th U.S.) and I didn't stop him I just sent him a txt and told him that I wish him all of the luck in the world and there will always be a place in my heart for him and guess what he left 3 days ago and called me tonight!! After he told me that he was saying goodbye for good!

Answer 6

now and again certain now and again NO. being pregnant warning signs are an same as warning signs of a era coming so now and again that is totally complicated to inform. the very astounding thanks to understand is to attend till a era is previous due and do a hometest. i become 7 weeks previously i stumbled on out with my daughter I under no circumstances felt ill pregnant sore boobs ANY warning signs of being pregnant yet, a + try. With this being pregnant previously my era become due i felt warm, irriated, crampy, sore boobs, each and every thing smelled poor. All being pregnant are differnt even if a women human beings is having no warning signs and a era is previous due it is fantastic to target.

Answer 7

I honestly don't know what to tell you. If it was me, I couldn't deal with a relation ship like that in the first place. You visit each other once a month? I would move on .I would find someone that was more into me.

Answer 8

I believe that if you love someone and set him free and he never returns he was never yours in the first place, but if he returns, it was meant to be and he loved you even though you set him free. We cannot possess anyone; they must do what they dream and if someone holds them back, the someone is being selfish. If he returns, you will have a happy life, or if he wants to have you go with him, he loves you. If not, you haven't lost much.

Answer 9

men see it differently because women whine let him go and if he loves u then he will get u to new york to be with him

Answer 10

you should let him do what he wants or he is gonna resent you.if he truely loves you then things will be okay