if your kid is 6yrs. old is that to old to hang on you & sit on you ALL?

Question

the time?? how do you get them to go play and not hang on you? my bf's kid is always on us, mostly him and she is jealous and always saying it's my dad. she follows him around, sits on him,she puts her head in his lap which i think looks inapproiate. she is just so clingy and it's annoying. I love her but how do you get her to go do something without being rude? He does baby her & carry her around, it's really annoying, esspecially because he wants me to be strict with my kids & acts jealous if my kids want my attention. what do i do ? am i wrong?

Answer 1

He needs to help too. My son is 6 as well, and yes, it is too old to be THAT clingy. He's going to have to be the one to deal with her, because she's doing it out of jealousy. And start giving your kids the attention they want, piss on him if he'll give it to his daughter but gets mad if you do it for yours. And the clinginess does get to a point where you need to be firm, but not mean to get them to do it. But he's going to have to step up, you can't do it alone, or she'll just cling to him more because she thinks you're being mean to her. Best of luck to you!!

Answer 2

It's perfectly normal for his little girl to be clingy and insecure when you are around. She is just being protective of her father, she would act the same if her father started babysitting another chiild. You are a threat to her, and taking his time away from her. Give it time! She will eventually accept you as a friend if you don't push. Being in a relationship where both people have children of their own is not easy. Every parent has their own views on how strict they should be with their children. You raise your children the way you choose, and he should do the same. It is only until you are both married and all your children are living under the same roof when the two of you must unite and stick to the same rules. Even then, a step-parent will never be successful at disaplining a step-child unless the child is roughly under the age of four. A child from another parent is not likely to take orders from another adult without a fight. Befriend your boyfriend's daughter, and she will come around eventually, just leave the disapline to the parent. Your boyfriend better realize you might very well love him very much, but you are a mother first and foremost. Kids need attention, and security, that's a fact.

Answer 3

If you don't like to see him carrying his daughter around and spending time with her I suggest you find another boyfriend. His daughter is his FIRST priority just as your kids are your's. I suggest the two of you sitting down and working out a plan for ALL of the children. Yes his daughter does sound clingy but she probably also feels threatened by you and your children. She might feel that you are trying to take her father away from her. She is just a little girl cut her some slack this is her father, it's bad enough her parents aren't together, she loves her daddy and is more than likely afraid he is going to be leaving her forever. How would YOU feel if someone with children came into YOUR father's life when YOU were little?

Answer 4

Perhaps it is how is she has been raised up to that point or how she is being raised. Maybe your bf can expose his daughter to kids at the park or the neighbourhood kids.

I am not really an expert on this type of thing but maybe he should let go and get her exposed to a new crowd of people and leave her alone for awhile or something.

Answer 5

Stop being so judgemental( you say... It's so annoying..Twice.) and think about HER situation.

Your BF's daughter, where is her mom? Divorced or dead... the six year old has already lost one parent and is doing what she knows how to not lose the other.
I assume he goes to work, what does he do with her at those times, leave her at daycare, preschool. she is feeling a great sense of loss and when is with her Dad does not want it to end, wants to get the most out of it, is maybe just purely happy to be with him. you don't say she does the same to you, why? does she sense your uptightness, resentment, maybe she is jealous of your closeness to him. whether you realize it or not you are the replacement mom, act like it and show her love and acceptance. there is nothing inappropriate about a six year old daughter putting her head in her fathers lap(get your mind out of the gutter, she is not thinking what you do when you put your head in his lap)
She is a little girl who wants and deserves love and acceptance.
You say... his kids, my kids. if you two are in a relationship that you intend to last then it should be our kids. how does that hit YOU.
Treat her like yours, with unconditional love. Can you do that?
It sounds like you are jealous of her and her time with her Father(your boyfriend) Try looking at her as what she is, a six year old girl who has a great loss in her life.

O.K. MOM

Answer 6

First of all, do not be strict with your kids. Do this from the beginning, let him know how you want to be with your kids. They do have to have disipline, but more important "lot's of love" Remember your kids were in your life first. Tell him you both need to treat all the kids equally the same! If you don't put your foot down from the beginning, you will regret it down the road.

Answer 7

Remember that if you marry these issues will be 10x worse in less then a year. I wish that single parents would just concentrate on being moms or dads to there children, and not husband or wife to a new spouse. Your kids, like his need your attention more then ever, now that there family is split.
My advise although you won't like it is to leave this relationship and be a mom to your kids. when they are grown ( 18+ ) then remarry if you want

Answer 8

Get a different man. If he is jealous of attention you give your kids, he will not be good for your kids. He has a problem. Do you and your kids need his problems?

Answer 9

it all depends on how big of a rod he gets