what do you do when you find out your freind is cutting herself?

Question

i just recently saw cuts. i asked her about them and she said it was her cat. altho i noticed there were too many in one certain place and they were in a straight line. it's pretty obvious. but now what do i do? her parents aren't the type to deal with something like this. let's just say they abuse her. so they don't give a sh*t. my parents hate her cause she's "bad" and the school counselors don't beleive anything the students tell them. even if it's true.

Answer 1

if ur friend is cutting herself infron of u, then u try to stop her, or u freak out......

Answer 2

ok, you have been getting a lot of great advice, but as i have and am a cutter i would like to put in some advice from personal experiences and what i have researched.

Ok, first off you should try to get some professional help, call someone, tell the counselors, ask a priest for help, any adult that you can trust. If she is being abused by her parents (not just the normal teen arguments and stuff) then you probably shouldn't tell them cause they might 'punish' her or something.

ok, now for what you personally can do. you need to talk to her about it, in a private situation where you can listen to her. It's likely she has hidden this for some time and is bursting at the seams to explain why she is doing this. Make sure that you let her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk or whatever (like if she feels the urge she can call you or something). Make sure you DON'T get angry at her, and don't attack her or anything. She may get deffensive and believe no one cares (that happened to me) and she might even get deeper into it. Also don't tell her that she has to stop cause it is bothering you or something. Cutting can become an addiction and you can't just stop it, so if you tell her she has to that just puts pressure on everyone and make it harder. You need to let her know that you will help her through this.

Also, this one is kinda weird, if you talk to her and she says how she hurts herself (knife, razor, scissors, whatever) don't take what she uses away from her. This sounds really wierd, but please just listen. Its been proven that if you take away thier 'tool' things will only get worse. Cutters use cutting for many reasons, such as feeling they are alive, to ground themselves (for if they start to dissociate or lose touch with the world), to get a release (pain releases endorphines which calms the person down and make them feel better and stuff), to express thier pain, any number of reasons. so, if you take what they use away they will feel lost and will NEED the release (imagine taking drugs away from a druggie cold turkey. it doesnt work) also, cutters often find alternatives to what they usually use, they will use nails, pens, finger nail files, etc.... and they often cut worse than before. so yeah, you can find this on other sites if you research. a cool site about cutting is recoveryourlife.com it has alot of self harmers on it (it has a message board and chat room) but it also has info for those trying to help others and stuff. sorry for writing so much, sorry if it didn't help any. well, i hope that something works out. fell free to email me at [e-mail] if you have any questions or if you just need to talk or whatever. good luck!

Answer 3

if your friend is being abused by her parents then that would be the only real people who could help her and since they can't or wont then i think you should call dcfs and have them take her out and get her counseling but continue to see her, let her know that she still has someone who cares about her. and keep up with where she goes. stay there for her. she already has no adults who care im pretty sure she doens't want to lose her only friend too.

Answer 4

first of all, here's a website and phone number:
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONTCUT (at least i think its 1-800)

now go there and read that. it'll help you understand that sometimes it's hard to just say "ok, no more". it's a certain sense of comfort and an escape. it's like a security blanket. it's hard to give up. sometimes it requires the help of somebody else. after you go to that site and read it, tell her that you really need her to be honest about it and it might be painful, but she needs to do it. cutting don't always mean that she wants to die, but it can (sometimes accidently) lead to that. explain that to her and let her know that you need her so she can't let this go on until she does end up killing herself. show her the website and encourage her to try to quit. this may mean taking away a knife or razor that she cuts with. ask her to let you hold it until she's doing better and tell her to talk to you anytime she feels like cutting.

there's also a show on WE called "the secret lives of women" and there's one episode called "cutters". keep your eye out for it, it may help you understand how to help her better. hope that helps and i'm glad she has a friend like you to help her though it.

Answer 5

that's extremely severe. i comprehend you do no longer prefer her to loose faith in you yet sometimes you are able to ruin believe because of the fact if something undesirable occurs and you probably did no longer something might you have the means to forgive your self , Their isn't any assure you speaking will sparkling up the subject yet greater perfect to objective than do no longer something.G o to acounsellor or a member of her family individuals. i've got heard that the guy who does that isn't suiciadal yet attempting to punish themselves for something. She might desire to truly visit far and do severe injury . This behavoiur won't magically provide up on that is own. I wish you and your chum each and all of the final and enable your chum comprehend you're there for her despite the fact that if she is disillusioned with you. tell her that is because you care approximately her plenty that's why you had to tell because of the fact if something undesirable handed off you will regreted no longer announcing something

Answer 6

Write a letter, to her parents, the head of school, her tutor, your doctor, her doctor if u know him, and ure local hospital, and the local police.. make sure you put cc on the letters, so they all know that the others have been told.

Tell them u think shes suicidal/self harming. Include your and her contact details.

If that doesnt make them do something, they have no fear of media attention.

If the police/school/doctors dont act, and she does commit suicide. They would get in a hella trouble. Force them :)

Answer 7

I'm not exactely sure about this but I am pretty sure that I heard that when people cut themselves that it is a cry for help...so find out what is going on in her life....stress, problems, depression...and try to help the best you can....but make sure you tell her that it is not all right to cut herself and that you care about her and don't want to see her hurt....make it known to her that she matters to people in this world and that you want her around for a very long time....

Answer 8

I am a psych nurse, people cut because they have been hurt so much they block out the pain and they cut to see if they can feel anything, this is way beyond the laymans ability to help, as often they will cut a vital area and die or be maimed. Please Please tell someone, a parent, minister or Dr. this person needs professional help, badly

Answer 9

I have been trying to deal with this with someone I have known for 5 years and it is very hard all you can do is try and get them to tell you why they do this also show them some compassion when talking to them and let them know that you care

Answer 10

Follow Stinky2 advice

Answer 11

Abuse, hate, neglect. Very much understandable as to why she is acting out.
Go to the school counselors yourself and tell them the situation. This girl is screaming for help and you might be her only help.
Sometimes people put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.....
Try to help her, please!