Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
2006-08-09 17:43:15 · 8 answers · asked by chapped lips 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a lady took her bird to the vet. and said, doctor whats wrong with my bird? so he examined the bird and said the birds dead,,,,, that will be $150.00 for the examination,,,the lady said i don't believe it died,,,, will you run some more test? so the doc. went to the back room and brought out his dog...the dog sniffed the bird and he hung his head and went back to his room....so the doc.brought out a cat,, and the cat looked it over and slowly walked away.....so the doc. said its dead,,,that will be $300.00 but i thought you said $150.00,,,,, you wanted more test done, so i had lab work..... and i .performed a cat scan
2006-08-09 18:53:57 · answer #1 · answered by sheepherder 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giggle ... I like it.
What about this "Cheeper than a Doctor" Joke:
There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his friend he was going to the doctor. His friend told him to go to the pharmacy where there is a machine that for ten dollars and a urine sample will tell you what is wrong with you. So he went to the pharmacy and put the ten dollars and his urine sample in. After a minute a paper came out and said that he has tennis elbow and he should soak his elbow in warm water for the next two weeks. That night, he decided the machine must be a fraud.
So, the next day he made a mixture of tap water, his daughter's urine, his dog's urine -- and he added some of his own semen to it. He brought it to the pharmacy and put ten dollars and the stuff in. After a minute the paper came out and said, ''The tap water has lead, the dog has worms, your daughter is on drugs and she's not your daughter.''
2006-08-10 01:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To continue the Testing machines joke ....She is not your daughter, and if you continue doing this (collecting semen by using the hand !!!)... your tennis elbow will not be cured in your life time....
2006-08-10 01:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Andy.M.R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha... nice one. you seem to have a liking for such kinda jokes. Nevertheless, it something nice to see on yahoo answers... :)
Cheers!
2006-08-10 00:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Rishi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao i love doctor jokes there classic =] lol
2006-08-10 00:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol clever â¥
2006-08-10 01:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A nasty one!
2006-08-10 01:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Abhinav B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that...LOL
Very funny! Thanks for the chuckle
2006-08-10 00:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by buzzbait0u812 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋