how do you tame a baddass 3 year old?

Question

she is not afraid of the belt, or her father who is hardly like never around. she fights with the 8 year old and is not afraid to beat her up either. i now know hitting her does not solve anything and niether does threats so some one please help any suggestions.

first she is very bad and it was taught by people i thought i could trust to babysit. 2 her father choses not be in her life. 3 if you do not think that kids should be hit at some point in there lives then you must not have kids. 4 its not always the parent that influences bad behavior. i do everything i can but she still does not listen. im thinking maybe school will calm her down when she sees how other kids play and act. she is very nice to other children but fights with her family. before you answer this question look and see if you have ever had a child first and i would like to her from mainly women or very involved fathers or single fathers.

Answer 1

Whatever she does, don't let her get away with it. The adult is in charge, not the kid. Make sure she knows that.

Next time she does something bad, tell her to go to her room. When/if she doesn't, physically take her there and make sure she stays put, therefore establishing your dominance.

If she keeps getting away with stuff, she'll continue thinking she's in control. Nip this in the bud before she gets much older.

Answer 2

Who taught her this behavior? That person needs some "anger management classes" and IF it is a parent they are in dire need of parenting classes. STOP making threats and START rewarding good behavior. Television, computer time, video games, videos are privileges and should be EARNED and not just handed to the child. When the child behaves reward her with a set time of television (I suggest no more than 1/2 hour a day), or computer etc. She is probably going through the "terrible twos" a normal phase of a child's life and YOU are dealing with it by using a belt on her. That is called child abuse. I suggest that you and the child's father take parenting classes

Answer 3

You and your child's father have conditioned this 3 year old to be disobedient. You don't have to beat the child, you have to teach the child right from wrong.
If the child throws something on the floor you kindly request that the child picks the item up.
if the child refuses, you escort the child over to the arena where the object has fallen and then demand that the child picks the item up.After the child eats food, make him put the plate in the sink (if your dishes aren't glass) and wash his/her hands.
if the child eats all of his/her vegetables, you verbally reward the child by clapping or even giving a treat such as dessert.
Children are not bad by nature. They are curious and they learn to employ various behaviors from trial and error.
If a child cries every time he/she wants to eat and the parent never enforces a child that can speak to express him/herself-the child will continue to throw tantrums.
Even though the child's father is in and out, He sounds like a sucker because my father lived with another family but whenever he visited my home, we respected him and did whatever was required.

Answer 4

call supper nanny.ok watch super nanny and im not being funny about it.i had 4 kids that was years ago.i now raise my grandaughter well 2 off them one 7 and yes one 3 and let me tell you it is harder with these two than it was with my 4. i have learn alot by watching that show .she also has a wed site but not sure what it is.the 7 year old is good but the 3 year old can be an angel and devil.since i started letting her help like she likes to clean if she does a good job she gets a star after 10 she get a treat.do things with her and talk to her not at her face to face.inever thought i would need help after having 4, GOOD LUCK TOO YOU!!

Answer 5

Go to parenting class and work on it. If you have been hitting a 3 yr old with a belt you have cause to worry about yourself. She has some trauma in her life to be acting like that.She needs counseling fast so she can get control of herself before it is near impossible to do. The best thing you can do is start a routine and stick with it, stop referring to your 3 yr old as a bada__,and never hit her with a weapon. She will learn that hitting is the way to solve her problems in daycare or school and then she will really be in trouble and it it will go downhill from there. Best wishes and contact me if I can help. I am a mom, gramby to 7 grandkids,past teacher, coun/guid,and worked with kids in many areas over the years, even juvenile detention and they take them really young and then they have a negative road map for their life. Please do this for your kids to get this straightened out!

Answer 6

Get book, Parenting with Love and Logic. Great stuff. Some libraries have their tapes of this in action. My friend is now using it, and it was recommended by her friend. I've gone to workshops for school and use the teaching version in my room. Most of our Montessori Children's House (ages 3-5) use this very efffectively. You are not wanting a fighting, angry, fearful environment, but that sounds like where it is currently.

Answer 7

I am assuming here, but I think it's very likely that your home is filled with nothing but chaos and inconsistency. For starters, your daughter's father is in and out. Imagine how insecure that child must feel. Then, she lives in constant chaos and fear, never knowing when Mommy (the one she can allegedly trust) is going to beat her with a belt. It's quite understandable then, as to why your daughter is so aggresive and hard to control. She's never been given security to fall back on.

My first suggestion would be to calm your house down. I'm sure you are very busy, being that you are alone most of the time without the help of the father. You should start to take things more slowly, at a different, more calm pace. Don't worry about the small stuff (like cleaning to perfection) and sorting through the junk mail. Take time every single day to spend with your children. Turn off the TV and read to them. Play a game with them. Play dolls or Barbies or anything that your 3 year old likes. Cuddle with her and tell her you love her. Hug her and kiss her.

Next, create what I call the "Big Trouble" chair. When my daughter does something wrong, she has to sit there. If it's something more serious than usual (like a few weeks ago when she used chocolate pudding as finger paint on the bathroom door), I take something big away from her. That day, I did not take her to the lake like we had planned. You need to find your daughter's "currency", as Dr. Phil says. Take away her favorite toys. You might want to consider apologizing for hitting her. Sit her down and keep it simple, "Mommy made a big mistake when I hit you. I'm very sorry, and want to let you know that it won't happen anymore. But there are rules that you have to follow, and when you don't, you'll be losing _______" Honestly, she does deserve an apology, and it will be a great lesson for her down the road, to learn that even parents/adults make mistakes. And when they do, they need to own up to them and apologize and try to make things right. What a good example to set.

Back to the "Big Trouble" chair.... the first time I used it, (which is a plastic chair from the Little Tikes table and chair set) I literally had to hold my daughter down in it. She cried hysterically! Of course she didn't like it, and it broke my heart into a million pieces having to do it. But the important thing here is that I did NOT back down. No matter how hard she cried, no matter how terrible I felt, I continued to hold her around her waist with the chair, almost like hugging her. I told her, "I can't talk to you while you are crying so loudly" She finally calmed down, and I explained to her what she did wrong and why she had to sit here. It takes A LOT of patience and self control on Mommy's part but believe me, it truly works. It's not too late for you to start this. But the reason I suggested you "calm your house down" is b/c you do need a more welcoming and calming atmosphere to sustain patience. Not just for your children, but for yourself too. I know it's frustrating and difficult (to say the least) to raise children sometimes, and it's amplified tremendously when the dad isn't involved. But it's essential to your well-being, and to your children's well-being, to live less hurried and stressed out. Most people who hit their children that much (especially with a belt) tend to be more stressed and frustrated than those who don't. And I'm not saying that you don't have a right to be stressed and frustrated. But you and your children need to have and maintain mutual respect; especially since you are 'alone'. I think you'll be much, much happier with yourself if you take control of your routine and chaos. And I know that someday your children will thank you for it. GOOD LUCK! I really hope you can turn things around for yourself and your children.

Answer 8

stop the threat of physical punishment
stop the belt too
time out...one minute for every year of her age...in a specific place where you can see and hear her...like in a chair at the table or in a corner...and set the timer on the microwave for her release time(really works, restores "power" to child, decision to leave is the child's) ...start time over if she leaves before time is up
get family counseling

Answer 9

You're probably just lightly smacking her. Dont bruise her but let her know there is more pain that you could be causing her. Another thing, she needs her father around. That could be the main cause. Even though she is a girl she needs male influence too.

Answer 10

You have been hitting and using a belt on a 3 year old...gee, I wonder how she learned to be aggressive??? You need to go to parenting classes or seek advice from a professional therapist