how do i stop fighting with my mom?

Question

my mom and i fight about everything. we never used to. i was a mommy's girl and all. but ever since i've experienced with boys, tried alcohol, and what not my mom and i aren't the same. our relationship just isn't the same anymore. how do i change this? btw i don't do the bad stuff anymore.

Answer 1

hm... first off, you shouldn't be angry with your mother or be fierce or moody looking when she is around ... it will just inflict more unwanted emotions into both parties.

have you apologised to her and told her how you were wrong and all? this is the first step, slowly maybe you could help out with the dishes or cleaning the home together with her etc?

little things helps ... build the foundation while you are still not too late.

God Bless

Answer 2

You sound exactly like me! I was in a heap of trouble for a short while. What's going on is that you have lost your mom's trust in you. Even though ou are behaving now-she won't know when you're telling her the truth. Sucks, I know. But believe me....Your mom was once your age and although she may have forgotten a little what it's like-She was just as bad if not worse! Or wanted to be. The best thing to do in this situation is to suck up a little and kiss ***, kep behaving and maybe spend a little time with her. I'm 30 now and my mom has become my best friend (although it wasn't always this way!-She told me I would be grounded until menopause or sent away to military school until I was 18!) It will take some time. One day you will realize what an amazing woman your mother is and what an even more amazing woman you have become because of her. I was dep trouble for a while....I'm 30 now-and can't imagine how hard it was for my mom to give me the guidance I needed to live as a responsible adult. Try to imagine what kind of decisions your mom has to make for you....Not easy,huh? I can now hang out with my mom at the local bar without cringing at the thought! You wll be able to too some day.....Give her a break and tell her to do the same for you!

Answer 3

Moms is hurt that her little girl is growing up. and has gotten herself into a little mess. She is like all good mom's that just want the best for you...she is upset you experienced with boys and drugs, something she didn't believe her princess daughter (you) will do.To convince mom's that you have changed start by doing good; don't just tell her show her that the boy and alcohol thing was something from the past and you have learned from this mistake...You might not see it now, but mom's are our best friend counselor, therapist and she only means the best for you. Good luck...When mom's argue listen she is trying to save you from something...I have been there and done that and i have suffered a whole lot for not listening, at the end mother is always right.

Answer 4

My mother and I used to fight all of the time. Especially when I hit my teen years. We are complete opposites, and fought about everything.

The truth is, after I moved out when I was 19, the fighting stopped. Teenage years are rough on parents. Especially if you are the eldest. There is not a book or a manual on how to raise your kids. You do the best that you can. Do what seems right, and hope that when they are out there in the real world that they can make those decisions and everything else that comes to them on their own.

It's normal for parents and kids to freak out on one another. You need to SHOW them both that you don't do the "bad" stuff anymore. That you mean it and you really do value your relationship with them. Words say a lot, but mean nothing if you don't have the actions behind them. Not only will they trust you and your words, but you will also gain a lot of respect from them.

It does get easier. You will realize this when you are out on your own. You and your mother may be fighting right now, but look from her side, you are her baby. She took care of you and watched you grow. She wants what's best for you. Even if you don't think it is.

Think about it, sweetie.

Answer 5

sweetie your mom has been there done that she knows what she/her friends did at the same age. Your mom is concerned about you she does not want you to make the same mistakes she probably did when she was your age. Tell your mom that you don't do these things any more. Maybe a shopping trip start suggesting some special times like this that you would like to spend more time and that you really would like to get back on track with her. Tell her that you love her and didn't/don't want to hurt her anymore. Good luck

Answer 6

It's probl'y a mixture of her being angry with you for doing all the things she told you not to, and her being angry with herself for not raising you right to help you avoid all those things.

If there was any secrecy, there's also a trust issue, and she may not be willing to believe you when you say you're not doing that (especially if she asks you where you're going, and you say "out"...).

Talk to her. Sit down with her, and tell her that you love her, you know you made some mistakes, but that you really want the two of you to get along. Chances are, if she's any kind of Mom, she'll be so grateful to have her teenager talking to her again, she'll forgive and forget most if not all of your past transgressions.

Then, after you've had your talk, don't give her any reason to think you're going back to the old way, or else all your sincerity will be for nothing. Love her. Let yourself be loved by her. That's really all any mom wants.

Answer 7

Try your best to stay calm when having discussions. Answer all questions honestly. Lying will make the relationship worse. Have you tried asking her why she thinks you 2 are always fighting? Listen to her answer, don't interrupt, and stay calm. Also, your relationship will improve again with age as long as you do not betry trust or quit speaking. My mother and I HATED each other while I was a teenager, but once I moved out and had my life together, we began getting close again. Now that I'm married with a family, we a re closer than ever.

Answer 8

Your mom is worried about you. She has probably experienced enough to know that life is very dangerous. She loves you and is afraid, and probably not handling it like an expert. Being the mother of a daughter is so very scary. I want to protect my daughter and keep her from the harms I never even thought about when I was young. You are an individual and seeking answers to life on your own terms, and that is good, but your mom is concerned for you and wants the best for you, even if she is not doing the best job of showing you. My mom did not give a crap about what I did when I was your age, and I wish I had a mom who did. No she is not perfect, but she obviously cares. My mom is gone, but even as messed up as she was, nobody loves you like your mom loves you, so please do not take it for granted. I would give almost anything to have my MOM back, as messed up as she was. Finding yourself is normal at your age, but respect your mom and appreciate that she cares. As a mother my heart bleeds at the thought of my little girl getting hurt, my guess is your mom feels the same. You are a smart kid for asking and trying to find answers. Being a mother is the most wonderful and toughest job on earth, and if and when you are there, you will understand how much we want to help, but suck at it sometimes.

Answer 9

Your bieng a teenager. Nothing wrong with bieng a teenager and that's good you've stopped all those bad stuff.
I was my parent's boy and all like you, and then I wasn't when I started in my teenage years. My father and I would fight all the time, and so would my mother and I.

Afternyears, when my parents and I had a really big fight, got emotional and siad our feelings powerfully, that's when we started to be happy with each others and act like best friends.

Talk to your mother and tell her how you feel. Respect her and perhaps she would respect you. Think about all the things she did for you that helped you and made you happy. She gave you life and she loves you very much. Tell her thnak you and sorry and that you love her very much. Pick a good time to have a nice talk with her.

Answer 10

Mother daughter relationships are complicated. A lot of times it is us moms, not wanting our daughters to repeat mistakes we made ourselves, so we try to save you the trouble of going through the same things.
However, we need to learn that you are your own person and will grow by making misakes.
Never forget your mom has your best interest at heart, and if you actually look to her as a person who may know a thing or two about life, instead of looking at her like she has three heads, you will probably get along better.